Today has been such a lovely day, a nice recovery from the previous evening, if I do say so myself. Today, I wrote letters, actual letters involving pen and paper and stamps and everything! When was the last time you actually wrote a real live letter to anyone? I urge everyone to do so. They're just lovely. I bought some cards last night at the Albright. One for my uncle/ godfather who recently turned 50. I didn't forget to send him card or call. Things- namely life- got in the way. I also sent one to my little cousins- Matthew and Ellie. Matthew is 9 and Ellie- my beautiful, beloved goddaughter- is going to be 7. They live in England and I like to let them know that they're much older cousin misses them very much. I also sent a Thank you card to their parents, which is severly overdue as I went to England back in May and I'm just getting to it now. What can I say, I suck at Thank you Cards. And I wrote to my grandmother who I definitely need to write to more. I miss her more than anyone. It makes me smile to think how pleased my Nana and Matt and Ellie will be when they get their letters.

Today, I also went shopping with my mother. It's such a lovely day! Getting cooler now the sun is setting and the moon is already in the sky. It smells amazing out here, like autumn and burning leaves and sun- warmed ground. It makes me sad to think that soon it will be cold all of the time and that smell will have to wait a whole 'nother year. All of the leaves are off the trees and that makes me sad. But some of the apples are still hanging on. They remind of "the Wizard of Oz" when the apple tree slaps Dorothy's hand when she picked one off. That thought makes me smile

And lastly, I cut my hair. It's very fifties-esque. I had this cut eons ago and I liked it so I figured, "What the hell! Why not? It's only hair!" I keep debating whether or not I should dye it. We shall see, we shall see... I hope your day was as lovely as mine.

Ciao!

Little boy, little boy,
Runaway and hide
from the "scary" person
chasing you
through the here and now.

Little boy, little boy
Runaway and hide
from the person who adores you
Although she confesses,
She knows not why.

Little boy, little boy
Runaway and hide
Just go and runaway,
it's what you do best.
Run, run from the light of day.

Every once in a while, I suffer from nightmares, but they're a different kind of nightmare. It's not your typical being chased by Freddie Kreuger through a burning building kind of nightmare. These are different. The first one I ever remember having involved my family in England. I missed them all so much that I woke up crying my eyes out. The second happened when I was living in NYC and it involved the Boy. In that one, I woke up crying, feeling my heart breaking. In both cases, it was something I wanted so very badly and I knew I couldn't have it. The third dream also involved the Boy, and ended up in me waking up in tears, but in that one he got married and I was devastated. Pretty obvious, I guess. This morning was different. This morning, I had a dream in which my mother dropped dead. This morning, I woke up sobbing- just horribly upset by the thought that my mother had died. Thankfully, she's fine- last I checked at least, which was 8 o'clock this morning, but that's such a fear of mine, that something might happen to my parents. And I can rationally pin-point what caused the dream last night. Yesterday, a guy my oldest brother graduated with came into the bank. A couple of months ago, his mother, a really- how shall I put this politely- large woman, did, in fact, have a heart attack and drop dead. That's sad enough but what's really sad is that his father has just given up since his mom died. He's lost the will to live. Both of his parents are only in their fifties. Ugh... the idea of something happening to my parents scares the hell out of me.

So what are we waiting for? This is a question I asked myself this morning after I heard a story the struck me. A distant relative through marriage (follow me?) came into the bank where I work to exchange money. No Big. I made a quip about thinning out his wallet. But that wasn't it. He told me about friends of his who lost their daughter. She was 22. Two years ago she had had a heart transplant and all of the sudden, she just dropped dead. They don't know why. Maybe it was rejection but that usually has symptoms- high fever, etc... and if you're lucky it can be stopped. 22 years old. Christ! That's so young. So what the hell are we waiting for? Love and life does not wait forever.

Ok, so I've been thinking about this for a while now. Wouldn't it be awesome if we lived our lives like we were in a musical and for no apparent reason just burst into song and interpretive dance just because we felt like it? It's probably because a lot of songs that I hear on the radio of late feel as though they really ARE the soundtrack for my life. Coldplay's "Fix You", Gavin DeGraw's "Follow Through", Avril Levigne's "Fall to Pieces", Train's "Get to Me", Michael Buble's "Home" and Maroone Five's "Secret"- totally express how I feel and I can't help but think if my life were a movie, they make up the soundtrack, although as music is such a huge part of my life, there would be many, many more songs. And there would be the songs that I make up, because I am in a musical afterall! That's all, fair e-peeps.