I can't believe the summer is gone, september is almost gone too. I do enjoy the fall but I don't think I'm alone in saying that the cold weather is not one of the most fun things in the world for me. I look forward to Pumpkin Picking and halloween and thanksgiving and the turkey trot among other things. Recording, playing open mics, the John Lennon tribute show at Nietsche's. Christmas and sledding most especially, but I dunno, it feels like sometimes life is moving too fast and I'm not doing enough of what makes me feel good, like I'm just letting it slip by and it seems like most other people I'm around feel the same way. I'm thankful to be alive and not to constantly be suffereing but someone I talked to said that there is a difference between living and surviving. I'd like to do both. I'm not some thrill seeker but I do want to surprise myself now and again. I don't want to look back and see certain years blending together, i'd rather each year had some routine to it but also a lot of new changes, not necessarily bad ones. SO much can and does change in a yearbut is the change profound or just dstraction? Maybe it 's just being too close to it now or trying to figure it all out whil eit's happening that bothers me from time to time but it feels real to me so what more can i say? :)

My birthday is tommorow, so everybody better act like it's a big deal and regail me with all sorts of gifts of spice and gold. I also like treasure, toy trucks, and pez dispensers. BOOK IT! I'm Ashton Kutcher, I'm awesome!

Have you ever seen Laurel Canyon? It's good. It's about Christian Bale and Kate Beckinsale who are a doctor in his first year of residency and a med student working on her dissertation, respectively, in Laurel Canyon in L.A. They're staying with Christian Bale's mom, Frances McDormand, who is a record producer who's in a relationship with the lead singer of the band she's producing. So they all stay together under one big roof in this big house in the hills and it's all very interesting as the son resents the mom and her non-traditional lifestyle and the mom doesn't know what to make of her uptight son, and the girlfriend starts to find out that maybe she's spent more time in school than actually participating in life and the movie's not very pretentious or melodramatic, but i do think that it takes itself seriously and it's about an hour and a half and it's totally worth renting. So there you have it.

So today I didn't go back to my second job at the dry cleaners. Yesterday I made a pricing mistake at the register and the lady who co-owns it flipped out: "I can't keep telling you how to do this! It's part of your job! Now i've gotta do this and that and this and that and this and that..." and I just stopped listening. I mean I felt bad that I made a mistake but this lady has got no social skills or anything. The way she deals with customers pisses me off. She's so cold to them. Someone will ask her how she is and she won't even respond with an answer, "Pick up or drop off?". Really pisses me off. So back to her being all pissed at me, so she said "This is part of your job!" and in my head I was like "Nah, y'know what, not anymore". It sorta felt like that scene in "American Beauty" where Ricky Fitts and Lester Burnham are outside smoking weed and Ricky's boss comes out to tell him to get back to work.

Boss: "I'm not paying you to stand around and goof off" and Ricky:"Okay, then don't pay me."
Boss: "What"?
Ricky:"I said you don't have to pay me, now leave me alone"

My whole thing wasn't as cool as that, but whatever. I just decided not to come back in. I don't need anything like that waying on my sense of well being. I didn't need a second job, it was just me trying to get some extra cash, but I'm not out to make myself feel bad in the meantime. O well. I guess this is my yelling post. It's cool.

God, I hate this weather. It's too warm to enjoy. I hate taking a 4 minute walk and feeling like I was standing on the sun. I'd prefer that it rained all summer to this stupid weather. I like the sunshine as much as anybody else, but I don't like the heat to be so overbearing that I can't even play frisbee with my loser friends. If the whole summer is going to be this way, then I can't wait until fall. Mother fucking heat wave and shit.

Goddamn shit. Well, go Sabres, they're fucking blowing my mind right now. I saw (e:jenks) at spot w/ (e:decoyisryan) the other night and that was cool, but she was on the run, so she couldn't sit around and chitter chatter with ol' pitter patter. So there's that.

I'm so fucking hot right now :( . Speaking of being hot, I think that I"m at least a 7, but this girl at work said I was a 4, so I called her a cunt and threw a bologna sandwich in her face. What do you think? Tell ME!