Kindness by Naoimi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.

Some links and articles I found lately that I thought were kind of cool:

Free Punk Mp3's

superheros

(Article on myth and literature in videogames)

I've really gotten into the Sabres lately! Which is a little strange, because up until this season, I knew nothing about hockey. I guess I just find it exciting that we made it this far and might possibly make it to the Stanley Cup. I hope we win the next game in North Carolina!
(I should actually try to find a way to watch the games, but I find it more fun to call up a friend of mine and get the details from him. He's very colorful in his descriptions!). He was telling me about all the stuff that people have actually done with the "Stanley Cup" itself over the years... the stories are pretty crazy.

Another thing Tom was telling me about... there's actually a man out there named "Stanley Cup" who loves hockey. Everytime he goes into a bar, all the bartenders will give everyone there a free round because Mr. Cup came.

It's been awhile. I wish I could have made it to the e-strip party, but thanks to Paul for emailing me.

I'm back in Jamestown for the summer. I'm saving money by living with my folks until I need to be back for classes in the fall. It's definitely nice being with my family and friends, but to be honest, Jamestown is not exactly the most thrilling of places. Our big excitement is the fact that they just built a "Super Wal-Mart".

Fortunately, I get to go back up to Buffalo quite a bit because I'm doing some museum work, and I'm also taking a class to start working on my thesis. So it's all good.

You know what's kind of strange? It's when you're at a concert or something, and a guy is standing really closely next to you, or behind you... and then he'll keep smiling at you while he looks you up and down with his eyes. And he won't actually talk to you either, but he'll stand in exactly the same position. You'll turn a bit, then he'll turn a bit and so forth. Its creepy.

Do you ever get picked up in really atypical places? One for me that has always surprised me is the library. You would not think that it would be a magnet for romance. I've always wondered why I seem to meet guys in libraries like this. Plus, there's always the people who try to ask you out at bus stops or bus stations. Usually they ask you if you want to go some place where they could use their senior citizen discount or something! I mean, I'm sure we can all find true love on Greyhound, but still....

I was wondering... would anyone on here be interested in meeting up sometime for coffee or perhaps a drink? I've really enjoyed reading a lot of the entries of people on here and think it would be cool to meet some of you.

I grew up in a small town. Most of the people I grew up with are married and have children now. This probably sounds terrible to say, but anymore it seems that I feel awkward around most of my old friends. Because I can't relate to most of their experiences. I don't have children. I'm not married or engaged. The relationship that I had been in for a year and a half ended soon after I moved to Buffalo this past fall. I don't have a car. I live in a one room place. I'm this chick in grad school with a serious illness, trying to scrape by on a minimalistic income and medicaid. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but I just feel like a failure compared to them. That I've fallen behind somehow.

The truth is that most of the time, I feel like I am content with my life. I am involved with things that matter to me, and I continue to meet a lot of amazing people. I just wish I wouldn't compare my life to others this way. I want to be someone who can just be happy for them. I really do.