We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we get, the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done.


I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.
--Henry David Thoreau, "Walden"

Why do things have to be so complicated??? The buddhists believe in nonattachment because our wants & desires will eventually consume us preventing enlightenment. Easy come easy go I always say. Life's dealt me another bad hand -- ow well-- should have expected it. what else can you do but move on and try to be as happy as possible.

Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

--Shakespear, Hamlet

I guess I've learned to self soothe at some point. It feels good. Life is shit but everythings good.

With Love, MrDT

top 5 music soundtracks of all time:

5. Gone in 60 Seconds
4. Almost Famous
3. Tomb Raider
2. Great Expectations
1. Jailhouse Rock

Alternate: Moulin Rouge (just cause that shit makes me cry).

L8er Love, MrDT

man it gets late around here preety fast. seems like I was just in class an hour ago. i've been rippin tubes for hours and I'm berely coherant. I actually made it to the gym to train with weights today with my trainer and friend who's name is also Dan. He kicked my ass but we had to hold back because I skipped last week to kick a virus. hits from the bong make me lazy. all work and no play make jack go crazy.

oh and speaking of which I was watching this reaity show today on fittv called The Gym...its fuckin hilarious. right in the middle of the episode the show stopped and was like you watch too much tv and i was like your right so i turned off the tv and started surfing the web. is that the new idiot box??? wait which ine was i talking about???

i was thinking about buying a new bike that maybe one day i could use in a road race. somebody got me thinking about triatholons and other really incredible indurance tests. what people don't understand is that yes it is a physical journey that you are on, it is also a spiritual journey where you really get to know yourself and the things you are truely capable of. its so much for the mind to. maybe one day i'll be able to explain it.

well actually here it is plain and simple I have the need to achieve... my career, while extremely interesting, is kinda stagnat. why do something half assed? and why not tell a whole bunch of people who will help you to stick to it?

there's love in the clouds, Mrdt

Well, I had a rewally shitty day today. I'm not quite sure how to feel but I think there are a few things I need to put behind me quickly.

And when in the hell did Ari Gold get a show on the travel channel.

heart, MrDT

Well here I am again. Its 1:00 and I'm the only one up in this camp (except the (e:lurkers)).

I've decided to that I want to share my favorite song with you. Its my user sound that hopefully you are listening to right now. if somebody posted a chat don't worry, just hit the play button again and it will play all the way through even though people are chatting. This is my favorite song because it was my first slow dance ever in the seventh grade with Tracy Settaducato. I had such a chrush on her. It took me all night just to work up the courge to ask her to dance then this absolutely fuckin' beautiful song came on and I got the chance to dance with the most beautiful girl in junior high. I'll never forget it ever. And Tracy, thank you for saying yes even though people told you if we got married your name would be Tracy Tracy.

Actually, the real reason I'm posting this song is because I'm trying to reach out to someone who reminded me what its like to touch and to be touched a few days ago. It's been so long and I've been so busy working on myself that I forgot how good it could feel. So this is for you.

Accepting all Ive done and said
I want to stand and stare again
Til theres nothing left out, oh
It remains there in your eyes
Whatever comes and goes
Oh its in your eyes

Not much else other than I'm meeting with my old trainer tomorrow to discuss my goals for the next eight weeks. I need some coaching and motivation to push myself to the extreme. not to mention I have some symmetry issues to work out. i have to make sure that my dominant side doesn't start to look different than the other. I'm gonna try and put on two more pounds of muscle which isn't easy. my diet has to be perfect...too many calories and I'll get fat which will produce estrogen and not testosterone which is needed for muscle growht. not enough calories and my body will go through atrophy and not grow. my goals are to increase and widen my pecs; round out my shoulders (which will give me a wider appearance); add some height to my biceps; define my tri's; strenghten and straighten my upper back; add some muscle to my famous glutes and add definition to my perfect thighs, hams and calves.

with the greatest love in the world, MrDT