I have felt so stressed lately and yet I'm not sure why. I feel like I have so much to do and yet I do nothing. Like I do have tons of huge papers and presentations coming up and that is starting to worry me but it is something bigger. Like I feel so like i need to be doing something or finding something but I am not sure what that is. I go out just to get out of my house as much as possible but it doesn't make me feel any less stressed. I think part of it is I feel like I never have any time alone. Like I can never just sit in my house alone, there is always someone around. Sometiems you just need to be alone with noone bothering you or anything. My parents are always home, i think that is part of what is bothering me. I don't know. I just feel like I have to make so many decisions but I am not even 100% sure what those decisions are and I think it is extra bothering me lately because I don't want other people deciding these things for me as it appears to be happening. I don't know, like I just I feel like I have no direction in anything. School, work, relationships, nothing. I am going nowhere fast. Last night I ended up just walking up and down elmwood at like 10 o'clock by myself. It was refreshing, I needed it. It's not that I am like not happy though, like seriously lately everyhthing seems to be going really good and I have been really lucky but that almost makes me more nervous like it will all come crashing down. I am not sure what brought about this most recent rash of constant worrying and stress but it is no fun. I think part of it is I have noone I feel like I can really tlak to or maybe I have too many people I can talk to? That's weird I never thought of that before. I feel like I need one person who I can just tell everything but I keep some secrets from everyoen or don't feel comfortable tlaking to anyone about eveyrthing, like if I don't think I"ll like their answers. I don't know, I feel like maybe I need someone new just to tlak to, someone with no history with me and knows nothing about me. Who knows? Tomorrow I could feel totally different as often happens with me. I've almost fallen back into the pattern when I just drive past a place over and over thinking I will see a specific someone, and I don't mean that in liek I am searching for one particular person, but some person at different times and that liek I will just see them and they will solve everything and understand everything. But I never do. Ok that didn't make so much sense but I can't really explain it any better in type.

First off, Orange crush is an amazing drink but i haven't had it in a long time. Grape crush, not so amazing. Anyway that was not the original purpose of this entry. Well I haven't had any real crushes in a while except the teacher I wanted to sleep with but I'm pretty sure she is married. But now I do have some crushes and it is fun. I used to be obsessive from one crush to the next, but I haven't really in a while and i'm glad to have one again. It's so eigth grade and this one is just as futile as the rest, I don't really expect anything to come of it, actually I may never even see the person again, it was probably a one time meeting but hey it's fun. Hmm what else. MK was home this weekend and we had fun and saw Romeo and Juliet and some people in it like romeo and juliet and some others were really good and some were not but overall it was goodesque, not that I could do better mind you, I think I have just seen Romeo and Juliet 30 too many times. Ok that's all for now.

Oh and by the way if you email me at mike@elmwoodstrip.com it prolly won't go to me. It is completely messed up and is going to some reandom guy and if i send email it says it is from him, well only sometimes. I hope to get it fixed, well i mean have paul fix it as i do not understand computers at all.

It's really over. How sad! One of the best stores in the world, Vix Drugs has closed. This store has provided me with numerous deals and good times through the years. Over the last few weeks since I found out they were closing I have been quite an addict, visiting up to three or four Vix stores everyday. Well I can definetely say over these few weeks I have amassed a lot of cheap junk, and lots of greeting cards. How can you go wrong at 95 and even 99% off. I also bought lots of streamers cuz they were cheap. I tried to post a picture of my favorite Vix , the one on Kenmore Avenue, but it didn't work. I thought it should end there at the Vix where all my deep discount dreams began. The picture is minutes after they closed on monday. RIP VIX

This will just be a short entry and i am only doing it so I don't get deleted. Well on saturday i went to my cousin Jennifer's wedding. It was fun. Me and Paul were ushers and we seated everyone far back thinking that the first few pews were reserved. BUT THEY WEREN'T! So as the people are about to start walking down the aisle , everyone in the church is getting up and moving. I also smoked my first cigar at the wedding and I smoked the whole thing. There is tons of video and pictures of me doing this and everyoen watched like i was a sideshow. There are even pictures of me tearing as I inhaled too mnay times by mistake. Also, i tried to light the wrong end first. I guess I am not a natural born smoker for sure but if i want to reunite with my mafia past I am going to have to start smoking cigars.
Not much else has happened recently, lets see. Oh i saw Mystic River and it was redic, not the movie, but the fact that me and jil had to wait in line for like a half hour because Scary Movie 3 opened that night. It was so dumb. I htought we were going to become friends with the couple behind us in line but they left and got sick of wiaitng. The movie was really good excpet the last twenty minutes and the whole relationship between keven bacon an dhis possible wife was ridiculous and unnecssary but otherwise it was good.
So today I had to give a sppech in my public speaking class and I was going to talk about how to create a memory slideshow thing like and video montage. Well i found out my computer can't be hooked up in the room and so I had to like replan my whole speech form mindnight till 4 am and then i couldn't get my vcr to work to get the video clips i needed but eventually i did. I think it acutally ended up going really well and people seemed genuinely entertained by it and seemed to enjoy it. Even though my teacher is a little crack addictish and a horrible mean grader from what i hear so who knows how i actually did. OMG it was so exiciting on the test i had in inbterpersonal commm i got a 99 even though i serisoulsy did not know any of the essays. I made up so much crap for that test i have no idea how i got the 99 but hey i'm not complaining. Ok i gotta go we have to decide what to be for halloween paryt. I want to be those monkey's that play the cymbals and wear suspenders and short shorts but who knows what we will be. For some reason I want to wear a costume that invovles the least amount of clothes possible. Well see what me and jill come upu wiht. Ok chadios for now.

So Friday was Halloween and me, Teres and Jill went to a party at my brothers. And Amanda, Katrina and Jessica met us there. I was afraid because when I had called my brother a little earlier noone was there yet, but I thought hey, at least that means more food for me. But by the time we got here there were quite a few people. Jill dressed up as a windup doll and I dressed up as one of those wind up monkeys that plays the cymbals. Yes, in the end I won out and got to be a moneky in shorts and a vest. Teres refused to dress up. Katrina and Amanda were witches. I had to put my costume together very last minute cuz I had to work all Halloween day and so a terrible tragedy occured. I couldn't find a monkey mask anywhere or figure out how to make a monkey face so I ended up buying this Christmas curious george-like stuffed animal that was huge and cutting off its head and using its stuffed animal head carcass as a mask. Actually my mom did the actual ripping off of the head. Hopefully we can sew it back on and donate the stuffed animal to some child or something. Sad but I had to do what I had to do. Then me and Jill went to Amvets to find the perfect shorts and vest. The shorts weren't as perfect as planned becuase i was suppsed to take them in and shorten them a little but didn't have time. My tail was really the thing that keeps the cold air out from coming through the door in my living room. And the cymbals were paper plates with these knobby things i found. It was all very last minute but came out pretty well if i do say so myself. The only thing was i didn't get to see how i looked totally until the pictures were developed because in order for the face of the moneky to show i had to look down and then i couldn't see myself in the mirror. OH i also had a bowtie. If I took off the moneky mask though I looked basically like a not so good looking, and not so built stripper. But eh.

So anyway, they had some aperteeth (play on words of apertif but i don't even know what that is so it was above me) and it was quite gross. So Katrina made me a drink that was yummy that was sierra mist, grenadine and vodka. I liked it a little too much. It was even better with some ice so it was cold. Jill liked this guy Richard that was there well i don't know that she liked him but she was interested in him in her drunken stupor and they ended up making out a little and Teres took a picture of it. Me and Teres decided Jill had to go home becuase she was too drunk and she was getting sick. She gave in pretty easy but it was so funny because to convince her to go we said that I was leaving too and she was like "you can't fool me I will notice if you weren't in the car". So then the next day when i called her she was like "oh you went back to the party after you dropped me off" and I was like "jill i was never in the car" and she did not remember at all. It was funny!! Jill barely ever throws up and she threw up numerous times so she must have been quite drunky mcdrunks.

Anyway back to the party, so Jill, Teres, and Katirna, Amanda and Jessica all left at like two but I could not because I had forgotten my house keys at home and I didn't want to wake up my parents in the middle of the night so I decided just to stay the night at my brothers. I was a little durnk and my have been a little annoyijng, I know it is hard for anyone that knows me to picture me being annoying but it happens, lol. I talked about Eckerd a lot, well you know Eckerd is my one true love so it comes up in converstaion but the people I talked to go to the W. Utica Eckerd which just isn't as good as mine. Some people claimed my Eckerd was ghetto and old and dirty, and I guess when I think about it it kinda is, but it felt like a personal attack. I didn't reveal any patient information though which is good.

So after all my friends left I realized I didn't know anyone left, well i knew Paul and Matt and Terry but noone else so I
wa
s

li
ke "Oh crap what am I going to do now?" But I ended up talking to Chamille. She was very interesting and fun. She works with Terry at the IRS and lives on Elmwood too. I tried to convince her she should start an online journal but she didn't want to. She has quite an intersting life and frankly I think we all know that this website could use some spice that I think she has. But I don't think she is going to. Her crazy escapades though would be interesting for everyone to read. IT was crazy cuz I was like, "you can use a code name like Tonya or something" and it turns out her real first name is Tonya. Well Latonya. BUt isn't that crazy. I just randomly picked Tonya and it ended up being her real name. Craziness. I would tell you Chamille's stories but I don't think she wants them in public and that is why she doesn't' have a journal. Hmm what else happened.

Oh then one of the Chrises was talking to us also trash talking my eckerd or maybe he was the only one trash talking it no the ohter chris did to i think, i don't really remember, all i remember is that there were viscious attacks on Eckerd. He used to go to Eckerd and claims he shops there but I've never seen him. He says the people in our pharmacy are snotty but they are not, they just are concerned. And he went to RiteAid now which is like the worst pharmacy in the world! I also heard from one of the Chris's that my dad is afraid of their dog and when they walk it by my house he runs inside (cuz they live around the block from me or soemthing I think, somewhere in Kenmore at least). But I think my dad is a hardcore poopwatcher and so although he may not chase them down because he is afraid ofd their dog it won't stop him from calling the police, but chris said they use a bag anyway and clean up after their dog so thats good. My dad is a little crazy with people poopin on our lawn, well not people but dogs. Well I"m sure he would be crazy about people doing it to but I don't believe that has happend ever.

Then it was weird cuz really I am way younger than everyone else that was there besides my friends, and if not way younger at least some younger and Chamille was like 27 and Chris was 30 and they were talking about taxes and services and stuff and I was like wow I feel young. And then I felt dumb cuz someone was like wow you're a virgin and your 20 but whatev. And really it was none of their business as far as I'm concerned. Wow I can't believe I just put that in my journal, well i don't really care, its the truth. That reminds of something related, I am a little sick of people thinking they know things about me, or more why are people I know telling people things that is totally my space to tell. Like it is not up to them to deicide these things and tell people, last time I checked it was up to me.

I also talked to some girl from the Co-op house, who thought I was crazy cuz I don't know what a concept album is wait I think that was her I really don't remember but I know I talked to her. Chris said he has seen his dad, and brother and some other people die in a car accident which is crazy sad and he said he thinks he has a curse or something and people get in more accidnets with him like people that never had been in accidents before. He said a door impaled him in the accideent where he saw his dad die and he had all these scars on his chest where he had the stitches and said he had all reconstructive surgery on his face. I am not sure if he made all that up cucz he was drunk or if it was true but if it was true that's crazy sad stuff to happen in a life and so I prayed a little bit for his car safety for him today at church and whlie that really means nothing to most people, I figure it can't hurt right?

I think I may have annoyed people at the party with my excessive Eckerd talk and the such and sorry if I did if you are reading this which you probably aren't because noone is but if you are and you thought I was annoying sorry.

So anyway to
conti
nue, e
very
one le
ft except Paul, Terry, Matt and the two Chrises and me and then the two crhises left at some time I am not really sure when. My mom called at like 11 the next day and was mad b/c she wanted the role of film I had in order to get pictures from my cousin's wedding that were also on the role developed before she went to my Aunt and Uncles that afternoon. I didn't want to wake anyone up to have to drive me home so my dad came and pciekd me up and took me home. Before I left I tried to clean up at least a little bit and threw up some plastic cups that were around but then my dad got here and I had to leave. I got all the pictures developed so I'll put some up here.

Overall I had a really good time and I think most people did. Although sleeping with a tail is a little hard. It was a little annoying cuz it was always in the way. Oh yeah and once again my music tastes were insulted. Ok so i realize for sure as I have mentioned before that I like the worst music but eh whatev. Actually I do like being introduced to new music though and some of it is good. That was another time I felt young when people were all like, You have never of heard of so and so but it was fun. Ok I guess this is all for my entry for now, if I think of more from the party I will add another entry later. Chadios. Here are some pictures from the night:


Katrina, Amanda, Jessica, Jill and Teres


Holly, all sparkly


Chris, Paul, Lindsay, and Hetris


Me and someone whose name I don't know


Teres and Jill


Me and Jill at the beginning of the night


Me and Jill a little bit later on


Me, Katrina, Amanda, and Jessica


Paul and Chamille (top), Chamille in a cool mask (bottom)


Chrises wearing monkey mask when fallen asleep


Me as the night progressed


And of course the best for last, who are they?