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Metalpeter's Journal

metalpeter
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06/22/2006 21:11 #28411

Square Reflection
Well I hope everyone who goes or went or is at the Square has a great time. I wanted to go. But when I got home I was to tired and so with out meaning to it was nap time, wow it felt so good. Lifting Boxes all day in the heat can really zap your energy. Buy thursday it can be a verry long week. Don't get me wrong I really like my job picking orders, but sometimes it is a long day. I guess if you look at it all I really have is my Job, it is kinda sad. But it also feals good in a way. You come home and know you put in a hard days work. Yeah you can work less hard and not get as much done. But all the orders have to get done eventullay so why fuck off and make the job harder on the other crews. But that being said sometimes I think maybe I should work less hard and go home and not go on (e:strip) and not go watch TV and I should go out and have fun. But what would I do on Elmwood, or even someplace else, um no clue. So I keep working hard and I guess let that and the paycheck and having pride in it be its own reward. I don't think I could live with myself if I got a check and said what the fuck did I do to get this money. I don't know as I could do that. But the real question is if I had say an office job or a job where I was by myself would I be more social and call people? Maybe, but part of the reason I never do is cause on the weekend I've delt with people all week and I just want down time where there is no schedulle. Where there is no "So what Do you feal like doing today?" or "So What Movie do you want to see". Don't get me wrong I like my friends and everything but i find that stuff stressfull sometimes. Sometimes I just feal like taking a metal fork and just stabbing my self and seeing if that helps. My one buddy Al is a preaty cool guy, I know him and his brother from the Nieghboorhood I grew up in. But I still never call. The other thing that happens is I mean to call and see if someone wants to do something on the weekend then next thing you know it is friday and it is the weekend. I really do like my life. But there are a lot of things in it that need to change. They have needed to change for a long time. But I'm either to lazy to change them or have just given up on changing them. I for some reason have always had this view that My life will not be a long one. With all the Great tasting but horrilbley bad for you fast food I eat for lunch this may be verry true. I may want to make this post private ah fuck it, whats the point really. I doubt anyone is still reading this anymore. Today I was fealing kinda I don't know by my self when I got home, I still would have writen this anyways most likely. But reading posts got me fealing a little more I don't know how to say it really, then the sadness kicked in during Timika's post (not her fault I don't want it to sound like it is, cause it isn't). Funerals really bother me. Then I remebered and thought about 2 that I went to. But those fealings left when I went onto the next post so her post dosn't really have anything to do with my reflecting. I did have my palm read once by a friend and the line that supposedly tells how long you will live was a long line, but I didn't really belive it then. I'm generaly a positive person. I look at things in a positive light but but I'm also a realist. Being a realist is often not the best because it makes you not aspire to do things, because you know you can't do them so why bother. But it is also good becacuse it makes you not get exicted and have high expectations, that you can't fullfill. I know if I had just read this I would be thinking man he needs to chill with some weed and just go get laid. I'm not realy a drug person, cause I need to be in control as opposed to the drugs but maybe that should change. Besides I'm normally preaty mellow why get more mellow. Well yeah getting laid is cool and all, but sometimes the one night stands feal great at the time but latter make you feal empty inside. Well maybe if it was one ladies or someone who looked like my post #669 then that would be a differant story. Who knows. Yeah I'm fucked up for those that didn't allready know.

Ok that is enough Negativity or reflection for now I gotta go eat and watch a video or some tV or something. I'm going to the bisons on friday and Monday is EDGEFEST, I'm listening to Thirtysecondstill mars right now, good CD. Saturday I want to go to the Marina I think there is some ship downthere. I may even go to the falls or maybe see if I can find any of the guitars for hope. But my main goal is to spend money and have fun on MONDAY, also a day off from work will be great to.
metalpeter - 06/24/06 17:40
Thanks to those of you who posted a comment. I was able to watch some comedy that night and that helped some and wrestling always helps a little bit to. I was sord of stresed a little bit on friday but better now, for now, so thanks everyone.
vincent - 06/23/06 02:20
I can totally relate to you today. I ended up leaving work an hour early. Since I haven't been feel too well as of late I decided to take a nap before heading up to the Square. I woke up around 12 midnight when my Ex called drunk and decided to reveal what she is really thinking inside :-/

Having worked in a factory/warehouse I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Now working where I do I get the opposite of what you are feeling. I go home at the end of day and think "I really didn't do anything today, but they still pay me. Nothing was created, all I did was enable." It's a pretty empty feeling to say the least.

Being a laidback guy myself I can relate to your "realism" line of logic regarding women. I really don't know what to tell you there as I have been having some difficulity in that department myself. All I can say is it does take some work. Although don't take it from me that is what I've heard. I have just been "lucky." Now if I did take some initiative I would probally have someone that gives me that falling off the top of the rollercoaster feeling, but I just have the romantic interests I have...

Anyway, I think I have commented a bit too much.

Things will be OK.





carolinian - 06/23/06 01:05
I know exactly what you mean. I've been kind of down on myself lately about not going out and experiencing more of what the city has to offer. Especially all those free concerts.

Oh, the irony that today I was finally prepared to get off my ass and go the square to see Blues Traveller. I looked at Artvoice's summer paper ahead of time, and spent the mental energy to mentally bookmark the event, and at the end of the day Mother Nature goes spoiling my plans with implicit threat of electrocution.

And take it from me, having an office job changes none of these issues. I should know--I have one 9 hours a day.
jenks - 06/22/06 23:08
Don't get to down on yourself... we all have lonely/feeling bad times... I hope you have a fun weekend. :)

06/21/2006 20:14 #28410

Survey thoughts
First of all sorry that in the survey I used the wrong address. I used the webpage address instead of the journal address. I have used A picture site called webshots for years it really is a cool site. And now that I think of it Journaling hear has made me increase how many pictures i put up there. Today I wasn't going to post. I really don't have much to say. That is why I havn't said hi to any of the peeps or would they be Peepetes since they where all females in chat. But I have enjoyed reading the surveys they are interesting. I admit there are a few peoples who if they decide to answer it or find out about the survey might be verry interesting to read. I know there was something else I wanted to say about my survey other then I kinda messed up on the color thing I was trying to make the questions and answers differant colors. In anyevent maybe it makes mine a little differant. I do look forward to reading more peoples surverys.

06/20/2006 20:46 #28409

Survey Answers
Category: survey


People:
1. How did you find out about/why did you become of estrip?

Side Walk Chalk Adds

2. How "out" are you about having a publicly accessible online journal. Do your friends know? Does your family know? Do your co-workers know? Does your boss know? Do you use your real name? Do you use your real photo?

I don't use my real name but it is the name I use basicly everywhere on the web. There is also only one other Metalpeter that I know of. I don't think my boss, co workers or family know, if so they have never mentioned it. I do use my own Photo. But that is good cause it makes it eaiser to vent. And i can be more personal.

3. How many epeeps have you met real life?

Lost count around 25

4. How has estrip changed the way that you meet people, on and/or off line?

Yes I meet people at (e:strip) parties. Still can't really get into spot, maybe if I was with someone else. I havnt't really taking it to the yeah wana met somewhare, yet stage. Well except Timika but that was all her really.

5. How has estrip affected you love life?

As of yet it hasn't affected it. But who knows that could always change. But i have from it found a couple interesting adult sites but that hasn't really changed anything. [yeah i did have one internet crush would you call it, but that is all it was, so still no effect]

6. How many of your friends have joined estrip because of your influence?

None.

7. Are you from Buffalo/do you live in Buffalo?

Was not born here but yes and yes

Equipment:
1. What type of hardware or software purchases have you made as a result of using estrip?

nothing bought but i do use firefox now along with IE.

2. Have you used the mobile version of estrip? Why or why not?

No, No cell phone.

Lifestyle:
1. In what way has estrip changed your Internet surfings habits? Describe the amount of time you spend on estrip, when you use it and about how long?

It depends on what topics get posted. Sometimes It seemed to take hours to read the AJ/Jason/josh political wars was way to much reading and took to much time so I stoped. Maybe an hour a day. Assuming there isn't an interesting chat going on publicly. I think I still spend about as much time on line. But I do it here as opposed to using a forum site.

1a. How many journals do you usually read per day?

Depends on how many people have posted but I would guess about 14. I always have to read (e:thecarey) , (e:ladycrofts) , (e:jenks) and (e:Imk2) if the journal is something I don't care about I skip to the next one.

2. In what ways has estrip changed the way you perceive your local community?

not sure.

3. How has journaling about your life affected the way you spend your free time?

I'm a litlle bit more social. I go to some (e:strip) parties, go to bars and wind up having a fun time my self as opposed to with peeps cause I always mess it up some how. Sometimes I will hear about an event that I forgot about and will wind up going (Henery Rollins).

4. Has estrip changed your living situation in any way?

no

5. Do you find that you mediate/document more of your experiences now that you share them with others?

Yes because I never had a journal, so I do document more.

6. Has publishing on estrip affected the way that write?

My writing was always kinda crapy, and it still is. But at least I get practice typing and do some writting.

7. Do you have other online journals? If so, with what service and has estrip affected your usage of that journal?

Well I do have my space but I was allready on (e:strip). So since (e:strip) was first it really couldn't affect it. I do journal sometimes there but that isn't why I joined it.

8. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using estrip at work?

I don't use it at work. One I don't have the time. and more importantly I like to be able to vent freely with out people at work talking to me about what I wrote. Not to mention my Sociopolitcal views varry grately from theres so it would just cause more arguments and debate wich can be fun but all day would get ugly.

9. If you have stopped using estrip, why?


I may have stoped using it for a little bit. Something happend but I don't remember what so I may be miss remembering.

06/20/2006 20:02 #28408

69
Category: photos

Well in Honor of journal #669 I thought I would have a little bit of fun and put up some pictures of ladies that it would be fun to 69. I followed a few guidelines other wise there might be hunderds of pictures up. I tried to use small pics. I wanted to use mostly actresses I think there are a few exceptions. This is only a partial list of famous chicks. I also decided not to use any nudity. The reason is that some of them like Tara Reid and Jamie Pressley (how ever you spell it) have legit nude pictures. But some other peoples might not be like Jessica Alba. This is not meant to be a sex fantasy post. I wouldn't post that here. That is why I didn't use any Porn Stars like Jenna Jamison, Tara Patrick, or Asia Carera. These are just the people who came to my mind first.


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06/19/2006 19:57 #28407

Old Man Rivers
Category: photos
On sunday went with the family to Old Man Rivers and that river walk park. Think it is called Niawanda Park or something like that. I had fun and the weather was great. Not sure if I prefer them to Missipi Muds. Missippi muds does have that cool upstairs part. There was a good crowd. Some kid had a pet farrett on a leash and it was walking around the resturant. Then in the park there was from a distance looked like a dalmation but it had a fluffy white tail so it was an interesting day.


The link is to one of my webshots albums for MIA 06. I thought I would post 3 pics. All the pictures came out good as pictures. But some of them are kinda dark and some of them are great. Looking at them is at least a good way to kill time.


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metalpeter - 06/20/06 18:49
We went in the early after noon maybe 2ish not sure had a good late lunch. Maybe got home around 4 or 5 not sure. It is a neat place to go for a walk or run or other activity.
jenks - 06/19/06 21:21
small world peter... i was at mississippi mudd's (and the park) on sunday... didn't see you though.