It is an article about bog sites in buffalo from the Buffalo News. I think it is good that (e:strip) was mentioned. I belive it was the first time ever in the news. Over the weekend I was In a chat with (e:ladycroft) that really got my mind going last night. Or maybe it was just that I was tired and missed the first few minutes of The L Word and that and some of the closing ceremonies of the olympics; not sure. Last night I had trouble sleeping for some reason also so recalling my thoughts may come across in a strange way. I think that a lot of us guys are affraid of good girls. Yeah the slutly girls, or the dumb girls, or the ladies who only party and don't do anything with there lives are easy to take. But rad chicks who like sports. Or who are really smart. Or who have travled the world or are super busy. They are verry intimadating because we can feal that we arn't worthy or that why would they be with us. Sometimes we think wow they are so busy when would they have time for us and that can be a problem. I think another thing that hurts our self estem or confidance in our selves is that a lot of people lie or tell half turths and we know this so we don't know if ladies are telling us the truth or lieing to us. When it is some chick who is only a one night who cares. But when it is someone rad and we think that maybe she is saying stuff about how we are cool or good in bed or rad ourselves to not hurt us. Yeah so this soundend a lot better in my head last night. Sometimes a great chick is a lot more pressure for us guys. With how fast my mind was racing last night I knew if I wasn't able to post it then that it wouldn't come out right. Last night was verry strange I was fealling kinda down and not really lonely but sord of but once I started watching TV I mellowed a bit. I saw part of really funny cartoon on Adult swim called Moral Oral it was great maybe that is what put me over the limit or maybe I just wanted some hot chick to talk to, who knows.
For the ladies of (e:strip) I think I may need to start that service. Granted I don't have a cell phone or a car to get to anyone so I doubt the service will go anywhare really. Some people for theropy like to start politcal fights and name call online. But I'll take ladies hitting me if it makes them or myself feal better. I know there is something I'm forgetting. I wish I could write my thoughts the way they came flying out last night, they where driving me insane. If I feal I need to post before I go to bed it may be an addiction. On another note there is the lady I work with who if she gets mad or looks upset I always tell her she can take it out on me, she never does, but thinks it is funny. Oh in case no one can tell I'm a little fucked up in the head.
Well, I don't know if this is it, but on some level, most of us think pain=punishment. So if you feel you deserve punishment - or feel you want to be recognized for deserving punishment - that could be something you crave. Or, if you're taking that pain on someone else's behalf, you could welcome it. it could mean a lot - or it could just mean you just don't mind a certain type of pain. anyway - thanks for sharing. I don't know if we'll ever get to the bottom of it, but it's interesting!
The thing that is weird is that I like some pain but hate other types of pain. maybe it is just a sexual thing who knows. The scapring or scathing kind of pain or joint pain drives me insane. But other kinds of pain still hurt but up to a certain point also feal good, I wish I could describe it better.
That is not as fucked up as it might sound or seem. Mothers sacrifice themselves for their children all the time. It's a very nurturing instinct to want to take the pain on behalf of someone else. It's just harder to understand if there's no relationship there. But if you feel the relationship - or feel strong enough to take it on behalf of someone who can't - that's a noble thing.