apparently not i. for a while now, i have been having the most awful dreams. the kind that include people you know, and situations that seem so real, that when you wake up, you are not sure if that really happened.

here's last night's: i was coming home from work and parked in the lot next to my house. for some reason i wasn't wearing pants, and my brother and his friend were in the driveway, so i scattered to find a pair. i found some shorts, and these girls i know from high school suddenly appeared with many shopping carts full of wine. then this man(who just so happens to be this dude i was talking and arguing about art with at alle st hardware last night) stops the girls and takes them away for having alcohol underage. he seems tob some sort of ub person, who enforces illegal activites. in the dream, he made sense. he then decides to question me, and seems puzzled and bothered by the fact that i am pantless. i rush to put some shorts on, and then as i get out of the car, he decides to search my bag. i have pot in it, that i was selling for my brother; just a dime bag for some guy at work, and im supposed to give him the weed back when i get home. the ub man takes the pots and threatens all this stuff; i start crying and trying to explain that it isn't mine. i steal it back, he takes iagain, and this repeats for a while. then my mom and brother cme outside. my mother seems to know what is going on and at first seems angered, and then amused, but she nevers tries to help me. finally, i get out of it, and give the pot back to the brother. the end.

right after this saga, i woke up sweating like crazy, and feelin kinda pukey. its 730, i went to bed after 2, why am i up?

I hate being tired and wanting to go to bed, but can't. Something is wrong. Ce n'est pas bon.

The more I go out, the more I dislike it. I don't like being around people that are really drunk, or just any sort of drunk person in general.

Alcohol is ok, and I enjoy one or two drinks, but recently, any ore than that just makes me vomit. The thought of being drunk does not appeal to me, and I just feel strange after a while. I can't ever sleep that night or eat the next day. I guess any sort of love for alcohol I had is gone. I enjoy it in very small doses, and not that often. These feelings, I take as a blessing. Lots of drinking isn't good, and it just makes me feel bad.

I am glad it is summer. I am glad i'm not a dirty old man. I'm happy to have a brain. I'm glad I get to go to bed now. What a strange night.

Does anyone have a flower press? The plants are growing and I want to make pretty things with them!

the sun is just about the best thing ever. it makes everything more fun. sometimes i like to just sit outside and listen to the noises of summer, birds chirping, people passing, and the ice cream truck rolling by. mmmmmmmm, ice cream. the summer bringd this wonderful ray of light at the end of a long sleepy summer. it is almost like magic, and like my sister likes to say, love is magical, so the summer is filled with love and magic which are just about the two greatest things ever.
i still havent cleaned up from the party, i guess i should stop being so lazy and do that. i think i am gonna make some meatballs today, and pasta. i know, beef is bad, but i really want meatballs after watching that horrible show, "the restaurant" last night.

what a weekend. friday we moved tina out of the dorms. that was crazy, and also somewhat fun-gotta love the iternational dorm. sat we partied. sunday we felt like puking and then celebrated mothers days without our mother and with the granny and aunt. i will stop talking in the thired person. or, i guess i was talkin about tina and i. we are the dynaminc duo. and soon, the duo will be split up. i am not happy about this.
this year would have been so different without her. i can't even explain how it feels to make a new friend that feels like someone you have known your whole life. it is the best feeling ever. someone who always knows when something is bothering you, even before you open your mouth. someone who will sacrifice sleep, just to stay up and hang out or talk when you aren't feeling your best. thank you tina. i will miss you this summer, and wait for your return!

a quote from a metric song. i think its funny.