The same basic topic has been coming up in my life lately. Perhaps i have just been more observant. Maybe i have just been feeling things differently lately. I wonder if i am searching out the subject unknowingly... even though it certainly feels like it is seeking me and not the other way 'round.

I met an interesting person the other night...

After getting semi-rained out at Shakespeare at the Park, (e:Uncutsaniflush) , our neighbour, Kirsten, her dog Ava and i came home. We had a nice picnic in the park with some Chinese take out, but with full bellies and cool rain, we didn't feel like waiting to see if the show would go on.

When we got back to our 'hood, the neighbour that lives in between Kirsten and us had some friends over on her front porch. They were making a ruckus and having a good time like only old(er) stoned hippies can. They had wine and sparkly scarves, nicotine and weed, candles and chocolate. Ava, the ever curious pug lead me straight up the steps of their porch party. I'm glad i went up there.

At one point, Kirsten and Sally were waltzing with formal hats on. We got a semi-self guided tour of the house ("just go in there, i don't feel like walking up the attic stairs"). We discussed the possibility that those leaded glass designs really are an inward pointing penis and testicles on either side of a crest in the front window of the house. I watched a stoned 50 something try, very unsuccessfully, to light candles. And got into an in depth conversation with Sally. A conversation i enjoyed thoroughly, even if i can't remember all the separate bits of it.

Sally "designs museums" and worked on some exhibits at the Natural History Museum. She's currently working on something with the migration of specific birds that spend some, lots, or most of their time at Jamaica Bay.

Meeting her and talking with her was nice, pleasant, and for once, socially, i felt comfortable and at ease almost immediately. I didn't feel judged for not being cool enough, or wearing the right clothes, or knowing the right people or hanging out at the right place. Whether or not the weight of the judgment is self imposed, self imagined or there at all, i feel it regularly, and it was so comfortable to not feel it at all. It was nice, as well, to feel interesting; to have someone interested in something i might have to say. I have had so much major drama in my life in the past, i find myself less inclined to be involved and now, even when i want to be, i no longer feel i know how... and even i find myself boring from time to time.

I remember discussing judgment with her. That she feels she is open minded and free thinking, always available to learn, yet finds herself at places of judgment. That her thinking a 21+ year old woman should know what state Cincinnati is in while mistaking it for being in a completely different state and also an incorrect one is rather... interesting, to say the least. I told her how i felt the weight of judgment the whole time i was in Vancouver, because i didn't fit in well with the trends there; that my kind of vegetarianism (moral based) wasn't good enough for theirs (health based). She mentioned how defensive she can be because she lives in Orchard Park; that not everyone who lives in the 'burbs is a "soccer mom". I told her hoe defensive i can be because i lack formal education; that because i feel inferior for being a highschool drop out, the mere mention, innocent or otherwise, of me not going to college can leave me stinging for days.

Not too long ago, i had a similar conversation about judgment, but all revolving around one specific topic. Weight. We were looking at a chubby dog, talking about how cute she is... and sorta kinda wishing that humans might think chubby humans are cute, too. But more often than not, we aren't. I know that i have referred to myself as a "fat chick". I reckon i do that so i can mock me before others do.

I think it's sad that the overweight are the last segment of the population it's still socially acceptable to openly, and often cruelly, tease. I don't make fun of people that drink too much on a regular basis, why should others make fun of me for eating too much on a regular basis? I don't believe the health effects of eating too much are worse than drinking too much.. but i'm not an expert so i can't say for sure. Is it more socially acceptable to drink too much and have the effects be visible, than it is to eat too much and have the effects be visible? Is it due to the possibility that eating too much shows a more permanent effect?

I understand that for some people, drinking allows them to let go and have a good time. So, i sure as hell don't mean to frown upon those who drink, in moderation or to excess... I know i can have a good time eating too much.

I reckom my whole point here is that i would love it so much if there were no social judgments. It can be fascinating what each one of us finds important in life... and how much that colours what we judge.

Anyone know what these guys are?





Today, (e:Uncutsaniflush) and i went to the Casellani Art Museum of Niagara University and the front of the building had a lot of these bugs.

On pillars.



On ceilings.



On signs.



Are they just hungry?



The museum itself was wonderful; we enjoyed it. Plan on going again, maybe even taking my mom, who likes these sorts of things, too.

Our neighbour knocked on our door last night around 8pm and asked if we wanted to go for a walk around Hoyt Lake. (e:Uncutsaniflush) wanted to chill at home, so she and i headed out with the ever adorable Ava the pug in tow.

The sunset was breathtaking last night. My pictures hardly do it justice.





Ava was a little fireball, too. I don't think i got any pictures of her that aren't blurry. I need to use more features of our camera so i don't end up with so many unusable shots.

These 2, although blurry, look really cool, i think.

Here she is, flinging a piece of sea(pond?)weed around in her mouth.



And here she is, running through the shallow water.

Happy Dad's Day to all (e:strip) dads, and of course, to all the dads of (e:strip)pers. :O)

For fathert's day, i baked my dad cookies. I did my cake mix cookies he loves so much. Used 3 cake mixes and made some black and white cookies (half white cake mix, half chocolate cookie mix, half a tablespoon of each, rolled together and baked), chocolate chip cookies (a white cake mix with some brown sugar and vanilla mixed into the batter), chocolate chocolate chip cookies and some chocolate cookies. Five dozen in all, 2 dozen of the chocolate ones, each dozen in a plastic baggie so he can freeze some for later if he wants to. I did all of these cookies last night... on a hot night and we have no a/c.

While baking (and sweating), i listened to cds... i thought of my favies -- Kate Bush or Morrissey, But since my dad hates both and i didn't want to get any Kate Bushyness or Morrisseyness baked into the cookies, i decided to listen to something else. Several something elses in fact. Some White Stripes. I doubt my dad knows who they are... And, what brought me to change my user sound. Some Elvis the C... (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding.

No probs, (e:Paul) . Here it is (e:News,874) .

People:
1. How did you find out about/why did you become of estrip?

I found out about (e:strip) through my husband, (e:Uncutsaniflush) . He joined several months before i did. When (e:ajay) had a going away party at the Old Pink, we decided to attend. I think i joined the next day... or the day after that. I thought (e:strip) would be a good way for me to be slightly less shy than i can be, and a good way to meet a few locals. :O)

2. How "out" are you about having a publicly accessible online journal. Do your friends know? Does your family know? Do your co-workers know? Does your boss know? Do you use your real name? Do you use your real photo?

I have nothing to hide, so anyone that wants to read my journal is welcome. So, i'm as out as i could ever be.

I don't have co-workers or a boss, but i've told friends and family about (e:strip) and my journal... sent along links to it a few times when i was too lazy to retype info to send to them.

I don't use my real name, persay, but it's a nickname my husband calls me, so i reckon that kinda counts. It's really just a misspelling of a mispronunciation of my full given first name... also the short form of my first name, Lee and last initial, T.

I am currently using my real photo, but it's of me when i was an infant, so that's not really the same thing. I have used real photos of myself, old, new and semi-old as well as other pictures that amuse me.

3. How many epeeps have you met real life?

A fair amount, i reckon..hhmm... lemme start a list:
(e:Uncutsaniflush)
(e:Ajay)
(e:Paul)
(e:Matthew)
(e:Terry)
(e:Lilho)
(e:Thesimeon)
(e:Hodown)
(e:Mike)
(e:Flacidness)
(e:Enknot) (although i am sure he won't remember *snicker*)
(e:Vincent)
(e:MrMike)
(e:Jason)
(e:Joshua)
(e:Jenks)
(e:Metalpeter)
(e:Theecarey)
(e:Pyrcedgrrl)
(e:Imk2)
(e:Jill)
(e:MK)
(e:Decoyisryan)
(e:Nejifer)
(e:Ladycroft)
(e:zobar)
(e:Dragonlady7)
(e:robin)
(e:boxerboi)
(e:Ejtower)
(e:DrChlorine)
(e:alison)
and an (e:Apology) to anyone i have forgotten!

4. How has estrip changed the way that you meet people, on and/or off line?

Reading journals other people post has made me realize we all have the same fears, some of us just deal with them better. I try to be less shy about approaching people, both on and off line.

5. How has estrip affected you love life?

Well, hhmm.. i think i grabbed (e:Ladycroft) 's boob at (e:Theecarey) 's birthday party and (e:Terry) humped my husband's leg... and i think before that, i put some money down his pants. So, nope, nothing new. Same ole same ole...

6. How many of your friends have joined estrip because of your influence?

None. Sorry (e:Paul)

7. Are you from Buffalo/do you live in Buffalo?

Not from Buffalo. Moved here a year and a half ago, though.

Equipment:
1. What type of hardware or software purchases have you made as a result of using estrip?

None that i know of... check (e:Uncutsaniflush) 's survey answers for more info...

2. Have you used the mobile version of estrip? Why or why not?

No mobile (e:strip) for me... would i get off line ever if i had it? Right now, the main reason is because i don't have internet service on my phone. Maybe someday...

Lifestyle:
1. In what way has estrip changed your Internet surfings habits? Describe the amount of time you spend on estrip, when you use it and about how long?

I don't know if my surfing habits have changed all that much. Perhaps i am online more now. I check (e:strip) once or twice daily, if i can. If we're out of town, i don't check again until i'm back home. Lenght depends on how many posts there are... more journals, more time online. :O)

1a. How many journals do you usually read per day?

I try to read them all... some, i can't read even if i want to, even with my glasses on and one eye covered (please, peeps, paragraph breaks, pleeeease!!) and others, well, there are a couple of journals i just skip.

2. In what ways has estrip changed the way you perceive your local community?

Sure have learned a lot about Buffalo reading (e:strip)... still learning in fact.

3. How has journaling about your life affected the way you spend your free time?

I don't think it has changed the way i spend my free time...

4. Has estrip changed your living situation in any way?

Sorta kinda... when we were looking at houses, we got advice from (e:peeps) on what and where to look and not to look. We still ended up in the unfashionable part of town, but we did it armed with more info than we had before.

5. Do you find that you mediate/document more of your experiences now that you share them with others?

No, not really. See answer to last question. Otherwise, i am pretty much an open book...

6. Has publishing on estrip affected the way that write?

Fewer typos maybe?

7. Do you have other online journals? If so, with what service and has estrip affected your usage of that journal?

No other journals.

8. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using estrip at work?

Don't have a work to get into trouble at...

9. If you have stopped using estrip, why?

Yeah. I still feel like a heel about it, (e:Paul). Every once in a while, i get all down in the mouth and feel like no one gives a rat's ass about me and end up venting in the wrong places. Really bad behaviour. I wouldn't want (e:Paul) or any other (e:strip)per to think that i am sending any sort of "fuck you" to them or (e:strip), so now when i feel this way, i seclude myself.