Sorry guys, i know this is a subject a lot of you cringe at.. but most of us women deal with it once a month.

Every month, i try not to let it affect me, but every month is different.. One month i can't get enough chocoloate (ok, maybe every day i can't get enough chocolate?), the next month, i could eat my weight in potoato chips and the following month, i barely notice it. Sometimes, i want to throw away being a vegetarian because i would love to chomp into tastes of my childhood like greasy fried pork chops with a big plate of mashed potatoes and thick gravy. Alternatively gross and appealing to me at the moment...

This month, however, and at this very moment, i am fighting pessimism and cynicism. I know it's happening sometimes and i know that makes it easier (ya can't deal with what you don't know), but i still don't like that it happens at all. I would love to will it away. Most times i can work through it but today, i just feel like complaining and crying...

I am so fortunate that (e:uncutsaniflush) is so very understanding, loving and patient. He also knows when to leave me be... he's pretty damn smart if ya ask me.

Today, i am being supremely lazy, something i very rarely do. Laying on a sofa, watching movies on tv and now, listening to other people's problems as solved by Dr Phil.

OK, self pitying session over... the guys can come back now...

As they would say in the south, we gone done done it. We went to a Taste of Buffalo, too. I want to thank all the (e:peeps) that journaled about it, since we weren't sure if we wanted to go or not.

I'm not that big a fan of crushing crowds (of humans that is), and not a fan of heat, so we decided to go first thing this morning. I've been to a great deal of street festivals in my time (felt like Hamilton had a lot of them when i lived there, and i know the 'hoods of Toronto must have one every weekend somewhere in the summer), but never one entirely dedicated to food.

My overall impression was that there were 2 kinds of booths at the Taste of Buffalo. People trying to raise some extra money, and some honestly trying to generate some extra business for their restaurants with tastes of their menu, since prices were incosistent (and i could see some were raised with masking tape, new pieces of paper with staples and even dct tape!)... i paid the same for a portabella musroom with feta, artichoke hearts and a light marinade as i did fopr a deep fried twinkie -- 7 tickets @ 50 cents a pop is $3.50. Maybe it's just me, but i think the mushroom was a way better deal.... and far better.

I don't know what the appeal of a deep fried twinkie is, but i was curious and i forked over the tickets...

Food wise, my only other negative experince was Louie's sweet potato fries. What the freakin' hell kinda shit do they dump on top of those things? Aren't they good enough without that sweet greasy goo on top? I like sweet potato fries and i like their veggie burgers, so i thought i would give the fries a try. Never ever again. Wouldn't eat them if someone paid me to... (ok, i reckon that depends on HOW much someone is willing to pay me.. for a million bucks, i would eat the same amount as i chucked into the dust bin this afternoon).

Overall, i enjoyed myself. My mom and (e:uncutsaniflush) both seemed to as well. Well, they both had some alcohol...

We had a nice weekend, too. (e:uncutsaniflush) posted a very sweet post about our zoo birdie aventures It was so nice to see my mom that happy. Perhaps it is of her own design, but her life isn't what she would have imagined it to be and i really want her to experience joy.

I wish the same for my father, but i must admit, i am slightly offended for his lame ass reason for not coming to visit me and Walt here. Sure makes me feel a hell of a lot less important than his comfy chair and his big screen tv. *sigh*

My mom also went to some book stores to pick up some bargains. Like me, she can bury herself in a book...

She made it home safe and sound.. tomorrow morning at 4.30am her alarm will go off and she will get up and start another day of her insane work schedule. Anyone who said that being your own boss is a dream come true was neither a hairdresser or a printer...

I just read your post, (e:Ladycroft) and i can so relate. I, too, have an unusual name, and i remember waiting to hear my name when the magic mirror of Romper Room was held up. When i got older, i just figured their researchers were slackers and didn't want to look into unusual names like ours.

My nickname here is a mispronunciation of my full first name. I prefer to be called Lee, but my given name is Leette (said like Juliette, Lee then ette) and most people see it and think it is said LeeTee. Now that my last name starts with a T, it's become a nickname that people (including my own Mom!!) have adopted.

I was named Leette on a last minute whim. My mom wanted to call me Gwen.. not Gweneth, just Gwen (her name is Judy, not Judith, JUDY!!). But her mom, my late Grandmother had a different idea. You see, in the small Northern Ontario French speaking town she grew up in, Gwen was the town whore some ways back. It became slang for slut, whore, you name it. My Gran would NOT have me be named such a name... threatened to disown my mom or never allow her to visit Chelmsford ever again. All 15 of my Gran's brother's and sisters and their kids and everyone got involved in this... it was the anti-Gwen campain.

So, they didn't think of a name for me until after i was born. Leette. My dad thought he was inventing the name. Turns out, much to his dismay, that it is the mispelling of a French Canadian name, Leite (said the same way as mine). My dad should have called the french branch of our family before doing that, but he was... uhm... hell, i don't know... stoned at the time?

I've met one other person with my name in my lifetime. She spelled it the right way. And like me, everyone called her Lee. At the time, she was in her 50's or 60's, so who knows if she is still alive almost 20 years later. She was the sister of the owner of the hairdressing school i went to, Lorenzo's School of Hairdesign, in Hamilton, Ontario Canada.

Congrats on finding a connection to your name, (e:Ladycroft)!

This morning, i got working on cleaning house fairly early. I'm not much of a morning person, but as i age, i find myself less able to stay up late and no longer able to sleep 'til 3 in the afternoon like i used to.

By 10.30 this morning, with le Tour de France in the background, (e:uncutsaniflush) and i had already moved the grandfather clock from our living room to our sitting room... ok, so the 2 rooms are beside each other, but it still takes effort to move a grandfather clock anywhere. I must admit, (e:uncutsaniflush) did most of the grunt work, but i was his faithful assistant.

We proceeded to remove a couple of solid wood doors that separated a hallway at the back of our house so that the in-law apartment had its own enterance. Since we plan on re-connecting the apartment to the rest of the house, we figured we didn't need them. Hauling them up to the attic was a chore, but we managed.

We managed to get a lot done today... lots of cleaning, organizing and it took a while just to get our garbage ready for collection tommorrow. We bought a lot of things for the house this week, so we had a vast amount of cardbord to bundle up.

For lunch, we had take away from Taste Good (so far, my absolute favorite dish is the vegetarian curry "chicken"), and we began listening to the nooner on 102.1, the edge (i have been listening to this radio station since i was in high school... i remember it when it was an independant station)...

That's when we heard about the terroism bombings in London. And we turned on CNN. Still brings tears to my eyes. So does any war coverage. ANyone bleeding and in pain makews me cry. Then again, i have been told that i cry too easily. I lived in London for a short period of time about 15 years ago. MJy cousin, Gene used to tell me to not take the tube, due to IRA bombings... used to scare the shit out of me just going down into those deep tunnels. I can't even imagine the pure and total fright those people endured. I hope no one ever in any place on the planet, no matter what they have ever done has to endure that kind of horror ever again.

This weekend, my mom is coming to visit. She hasn't been here since the wekend we moved, when she and my dad helped us move in some boxes and the last minute odds and ends after the movers had brought over all the heavy stuff. The last time she saw the house it was full of boxes.

Tomorrow, i want to clean clean clean and make it look as perfect as it can be, but i know that is obsessive so i won't do it. Oh, that doesn't mean i won't clean, i just won't be obsessive. It's not like i feel like i need to impress her; it's just what i do if i haven't given the house a good scrub down recently and we are having a house guest. I tend to be one of those kinds of people that wants everything to be clean always and i fight against that... else i would drive (e:uncutsaniflush) crazy! He's already a very patient man, i don't need to press the issue....

My parents are still married (40 years on July 23rd), but my dad will be remaining at home. He was invited, but he doesn't seem to enjoy being anywhere but in his arm chair night after night. My mom, however, would rather be active and out and social. I have no idea how they have remained married. It sure isn't because they are happy together...

We figure Friday night, we will go to Knox Albright. On Saturday morning, we are planning a trip to the zoo, since my mom REALLY wants to feed the lorikeets at lorikeet landing, and we learned the other day that earlier is better (they birdies get full by the end of the day!). My mom wants to go book shopping, so i reckon we will have to find time to do that... I was thinking that perhaps Taste of Buffalo might be a good thing, too... depends on what we all feel like doing.

Today, we ordered the housewarming gift my parents are giving us. We looked everywhere for nice and comfy chairs for our front porch, and at Target we found the best we could... they wouldn't take "we can't find any" as an answer. Here's what we ended up with: