Journaling on estrip is easy and free. sign up here

Jasoninbuffalo's Journal

jasoninbuffalo
My Podcast Link

11/28/2006 11:57 #23723

I guess I am kind of like a hooker....
So yeah, my birthday is coming up and I will be 31 years old. That is my real age...but as most of you know when I am in chat rooms I am a 13 yr old cheerleader named Becky. Ok, not really but whatever. So I was thinking about my life and where I am at with it. I was thinking about what makes me happy and what I would like to change and how I perceive myself now, and how I will perceive myself in 10 years. My life is pretty unique I think. My normal evening consists of coming home and getting drunk on my couch. I am alone, but I am ok with that. I have grey goose vodka, my 101 inch television, and my laptop and internet porn. The only thing missing from my daily evening ritual is my self esteem.....wait, scratch that, I am arrogant so I have that too. I would much rather instant message people than have to deal with them in a one on one situation. At 31 I am just a single bachelor living the high life, but at 41 if I am doing the same things people will no longer perceive me as a single bachelor enjoying is freedom but will instead look at me as just a "lonely dude" who doesn't have any family or close friends. At 31 masturbating everyday to webcam videos I find online is just part of being single. At 41 masturbating to webcam videos online could be considered part of a government sting operation. I guess my point is that 10 years at my age can completely change people's perception of someone's actions or situation in life.



I really do not think about what I want from my life or where I want to be in 10 years. I have goals and plans for my life but none of them revolve around "personal" situations or relationships. I have solid goals for my professional life and my career. I have goals about what kind of a house I want to be living in and things I want to experience. I just do not have any lofty expectations for my personal life. I have a friend who is the same age as me. She is a very nice girl, but I realized how different we are. I had not spoken with her in a while and the other day I did. She advised me she had a new "boyfriend." So when I hear that term I understand it to mean a relationship. Now I know this person pretty well. She has a desire to be in a relationship as many people (especially women) do. So I said, great, how long have you been in this relationship. She said about a month. I then asked how long you dated him before you got into this relationship and she said a couple weeks. Now the asshole that I am, I decided to tell her she was ridiculous and that it wasn't really a relationship because they barely know each other. I mean, if she told me she knew the guy for a couple months and that she felt comfortable enough to let him pee on her or choke her till she almost passed out I would probably of felt better than having her tell me he was her boyfriend and they were in a relationship. I am not an asshole for thinking that but I guess I kind of feel like I shouldn't have verbalized it to her because she wasn't asking for my advice about the situation. I still feel 100 percent that that relationship is doomed from the start. There is no way in your 30's that you can know enough about a person or have enough connection with someone to be in a real relationship with someone after a couple weeks. It is just fucking impossible. Shit, I can barely tell if I don't hate a woman after a couple weeks let alone know if I want to be in a serious relationship with them.



I also had a conversation with a friend about how I interact with people. We were at a social situation together and afterwards she pointed out some really interesting things about how I interact with my friends and acquaintances. She pointed out that I only allow people in so far. I am an attention whore like a coed on spring break. I absolutely crave attention but when I have had my fill of it I have a way of distracting that attention away from me and only allowing people to get so close. Kind of a hooker who will allow you to punch her in the face for 50 bucks but won't kiss you because it's too personal. I am kind of like that hooker. You can punch me in the face all day long for 50 bucks but my tongue will never go in your mouth. Wow, I want to be a drunken midget and whore who loves self degradation. I guess all those years of therapy have not paid off...or have they???? J



I guess the point is, I am ok with all of this shit. I am ok with being the brunt of the joke if it makes people feel good and I am ok with being who I am and not letting people get close to me if I don't think they are the right fit. I am ok with all of this and I think I will be next year, and at 41. I am ok with being a drunken midget and a whore who doesn't kiss.....



No wonder I am single....


mrmike - 11/28/06 16:30
Don't need the webcam at 41. Trust me on this
jasoninbuffalo - 11/28/06 16:30
I understand where you are coming from Peter....my posts are really meant to entertain, even if they only entertain me...I appreciate you taking the time to comment though. I admit I am happily insane.....it works for me. I do understand your points though. And yes, whatever parts you found funny were intended that way.
metalpeter - 11/28/06 16:22
This is going to sound kinda wrong but don't take it in a bad way. That is a verry entertaining post there are a few parts that are verry funny (not sure if you meant it to be funny in those parts). That being said there is nothing wrong with IMing but it can be verry addicting (Belive me I know) but at 41 yeah you might be on dateline to catch a predator #97. It is always good to be intorspective but if you do it to much you will drive yourself insane. The important part is that you do it enough to drive you towards your goals but not enough that it causes self pity and self hate. But then again what do I know I've been hapily in a rut for wow to long of a time to count.
ladycroft - 11/28/06 16:07
I can dig this. My choice of words would be different, but the same message sent.

11/21/2006 21:31 #23722

Sometimes I am not a Dick.....
Sometimes I am not a dick...


Even assholes have feelings right? Yeah, so this is a bit unique for me. Normally what most people who know me see if much different from who I really am as a person. Well maybe I would say it was another major part of me. I am a jerk most of the time, but I am also a person who is very contemplative and introspective.

I am a generally happy guy. For most of you who know me I sincerely enjoy spending time by myself. I enjoy the independence I have and I enjoy my freedom. With that being said.......the holidays can make me a little sad.

I spend my holidays alone. My family and I live only 10 miles apart but we may as well be 10,000 miles apart. I don't spend the holidays with them and have learned to be ok with that. My holidays over the years have always been spent over a significant other's house. I really never recall spending it with my family. I think the reason I get bothered is not about the fact that I am spending them alone nevessarily. I mean I am sure I could find somewhere to spend it. I think the reason is bothers me is that the holidays remind me of my failures in my life. Holidays are designed to spend with love ones and family. Even though I enjoy being alone I can not escape thinking of that fact. It reminds me that I have failed in some way as a father because I am not with my son 100% of the time. I really wish I could of been. It brings up the fact that I have failed at many relationships. It takes two to ruin a relationship but there are always things you feel you could of done differently in your lives to make things better. The holidays are one time of the year I actually feel lonely when it comes around. I think being a little alonely around the holidays is pretty normal though in the grand scheme of things.

Would I like things to be different???.........yeah in a perfect world I would have them different..... Would I change my life or my choices in order to have made it better???....No I don't think I would.....I like where I am.....



Enough introspection...I will be back to being an asshole tomorrow.........

notsara - 11/21/06 23:17
1 -- You're still a dick.
2 -- You're a good father. Shut up. You do the best you can, given the situation. And you've got YEARS to go to to rectify or do anything you think you haven't done so far.
3 -- I hate the holidays too. I told you, come hang out with me, and we can be anti-holiday together, but you're a jerk.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/21/06 22:45
Thanks man....
mrmike - 11/21/06 22:37
Dude, I just got caught up on the posts. This cracks me up. Welcome to estrip!

11/20/2006 09:32 #23721

Another reason People don't like me..
I am a Dick........


Ok, so I was in Washington DC this week. I spend most of my time in the hotel's lounge, eating getting drunk, and making random conversation with strangers. Most of the time it is just enough to pass the time but every now and then you meet an interesting person or have a funny experience.

I have realized I am a real dick. So I was in the lounge the other day having some dinner and talking to an airline pilot who was sitting next to me. He was a nice enough guy. He answered a lot of my questions about air travel and banging flight attendants (that is really what I was curious about). The funny part came in after I had 5 black and tans and 3 grey goose and tonics.

So after I was drunk I noticed this 40ish woman was sitting on the bar stool to the right of me for about 20 minutes. She was not that attractive. Very plain and just very average. No one was talking to her so I felt like I was going to be a nice guy and involve her in the converstation. (Yes, sometimes I do like to do nice things for people, or maybe it is just my desire for attention.) So I start talking to her, making small talk. "SO what are you at this hotel for, oh really wow great, etc etc etc....." The pilot started talking to her as well, but didn't seem very motivated. So I continued to make small talk for about 5 more minutes. I was in the middle of saying something funny (of course it was funny, it is me we are talking about) when she lifted up her hand, pointed to her wedding band and said, "Oh, I am married, HAPPILY MARRIED......." Then she continued to talk to me about her husband. Ok, I understand you talking about being married and your spouse if it is relevant to the converstation. This was not this woman's intent. Apparently, she wanted to let me know she was married because I was madly deeply, and intenesly, and passionately, in lust with her. Obviously this was not the case. So by now there were about 10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me (I didn't even realize I was doing something that should be rejected). I really didn't think about what I said next, it just kind of came out. I looked at her, and said, "Oh really, you are married???? I REALLY wasn't hitting on you. In fact when I search the internet for women to masturbate to I google Carmen Electra and not women who look like you, no really we can go and look on my laptop if you wish."



She looked at me with distain but I really think she had it coming for being so presumptuous................




lilho - 11/20/06 21:28
now this is just funny...
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 17:33
Yes, I was responding to you. You have had nasty things to say about me after reading my blogs. IE, I must be a slut, and you know other guys like me and they have std's etc. You know nothing about me other than what I write. I completely respect your opinion of me and I honestly do not care. I have enough friends in life. I do get a kick out of the fact that you feel motivated enough to respond to me. I have read your blogs and from them I could assume you are boring and uninteresting but they don't motivate me enough to respond to them. Again, to each their own.
pyrcedgrrl - 11/20/06 17:02
I *think* you were responding to me..but I'm a bit confused, as it seems like YOU are the one getting riled up here.

You're absolutely right, I know nothing of the conversation....except the details that you posted....which is exactly what I responded to.

Guess I was PRESUMING that, if there ware any other thrilling details, you would have posted them. :)
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 16:48
ohhhhh and FYI...all my blogs are probably going to be like this so if they offend you and get you that riled up you may not want to click on my name. Thanks for reading though!!!
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 16:46
Haha You are a littly high and mighty aren't you. She was very Presumptuous and so are you. You know nothing of our conversation. You know nothing that was said. You know nothing of how she reacted to the initial conversation and you know nothing of what I said to her. With that being said.....I appreciate your right to feel the way you do but I really don't give a fuck what you think of me :) That is the beauty of life. We all have different likes and disklikes and we all look for different personality traits in our friends and acquaintences. Some people I know prefer very friends who I consider very boring and uninteresting. I prefer other types. To each their own.....
pyrcedgrrl - 11/20/06 16:41
Okay, so you see a woman sitting alone in a bar, you PRESUME that she wants a self-proclaimed arrogant man-whore to involve her in his adolescent conversation about screwing flight attendants.
Then, when she tries to let you know that she is happy elsewhere and changes the conversation topic, (most likely to get you to leave her the fuck alone) you belittle her?

Honestly, I don't think asshole even comes close.

Yet, I do find this line intriguing: "10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me".

You PRESUMED that the 10 people in the bar gave a damn that you were talking to this woman and would view you a certain way, so you retaliated to...what? Preserve your precious machismo?

Well, I hope whatever you hoped to accomplish by not only behaving like a spoiled child, but also posting about it, works out for you.


jason - 11/20/06 13:13
She was being presumptuous, and I cannot stand when you talk to someone and they show you the ring, or mention something about the boyfriend or husband, because they are assuming some things about you and about themselves that, frankly, most of the time are not true, without you having even done anything to give them the impression you were hitting on them.

I woulda been like, okay, fantastic, you're married, but I'm here talking to you, and it's not like every person who says hello wants to fuck you. What a beaut.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 12:04
Well...she was very annoying. I don't think I am hot or not hot..I think I am me. Some people hate me..well many people hate me, but in hating me and me being the way I am I weed out people who I can bond with from people who I want to hit in the head with a shovel and vice versa. It works for me.
lilho - 11/20/06 12:00
i admit the lady sounded kinda annoying, but you didnt need to be so rude. you better be pretty damn fucking hot to be such a jackass, or you just have the short man syndrome, either way, i hope we dont cross paths. it might get ugly.

11/17/2006 19:46 #23720

Eharmony Can Suck It


EHarmony Can Suck It



We have all seen the commercials............ Two lonely people........meeting over the internet......falling in love because of this AWESOME screening system these fucks use.....getting married.......and living happily ever after. Sure...it could happen. I have seen these commercials too. What it really looks like to me is late 30'ish early 40'ish lonely woman, her mom is giving her shit because she has not produced any grand babies yet.......man, living in his mom's basement.....tired of whacking off while mom is upstairs..........you get the point.....



This site is totally bullshit. COULD two people meet on here and fall madly in love and live happily ever after? Sure they could...but I also so pretty woman, a hooker could fall in love with her john. Yeah, so they say they have this scary good personality screening software. Hey assholes.....I have news for you...people don't have to answer the questions honestly. No one is 100 percent honest in the beginning stages or meeting or getting to know someone anyways dipshits. I have news for you EHARMONY...I took that personality screening......it said I had feelings and shit....just ask all of my ex's....obviously this is a flawed system.



This entire site is about finding someone to get married to. If you are ONLY looking to get married you and your relationship is doomed. This kind of motivation leads to nothing positive in the long run and only sets you up for failure. I am tempted on making an EHARMONY profile that is completely ridiculous just to see what kind of desperation I get in return. You know something like......



"My name is Jason, I like long walks on the beach, talking until the sun comes up, cuddling and sexual asphyxiation. I like soft kisses, tender touches, and to be choked out to just before I lose consciousness. I am an active guy, I like to go hiking, running, working out, and chasing down hookers before they escape from that secret room under my house. I am a faithful mate who never cheats, although if you have a hot sister I would like to finger bang her from time to time. I just want to find a woman who understands and loves me for who I am, arrest record and all, and don't worry, the state of New York has made sure that I can no longer possess any firearms. That thing that happened in my last relationship won't happen again, my psychiatrist assures me I am "healthier". I like to spend time at home in the evenings instead of going out as my parole officer generally calls by 8 PM. Anyway... if this interests you and you want to marry me let me know. Thanks for stopping by..........."



Listen, I know this is over the top but you get the point...........





Ok so here are a few harmony "success pictures......

image




"We met for our first date and things went marvelously. From the beginning, there was a lot in common: we both had lived overseas for a period, love of grandchildren, music, sports and other things. The rest is history. We married on February 14, 2005 (yes, we are romantics) at a resort in Florida. Thanks eHarmony."

--Bob and Diane

Yeah, they had a lot in common, how about the fact that her uterus is shrivled and he has a limp member......awww true love......

image


"I really didn't think I would find the man I was looking for through eHarmony, but I found Sean and he is everything and more. We are alike on so many levels and our differences make us come together as one even more. Every day we spend together, our feelings keep growing more and more. eHarmony gave me a sense that the people here are looking for a committed relationship and no other website gave me that feeling. eHarmony matched me with Sean and I thank eHarmony for bringing us together."

--Stephanie and Sean

Yeah everyday your feelings keep growing more and more.....so does your dress size lady...good luck with your diabetes......

image



"Through eHarmony's guided communication process, we were able to get a really good sense of each other's personalities. When we met face to face, we felt like we already knew a lot about each other and the comfort level for both of us was very high. The structured introduction process that eHarmony uses allowed us to really find out about each other's important values and beliefs even before we went on our first date. Finally July 9, 2005, we started our life together as Husband and Wife. Thank you eHarmony for bringing us the love of our lives!"

--Steve and Maria

"Finally July 9, 2005, we started our life together as husband and wife. July 10, 2005 Maria got her green card." Aww how fucking romantic....



Ok...I guess I am not a hopeless romantic...oh well.......


carolinian - 11/19/06 04:06
I agree with the sentiment about looking around to find a warm body to drag to the alter, but I disagree with the overall assessment of e-harmony.

E-harmony matched me up with the most signficant relationship I had to this date (the most recent ex-girlfriend). I had signed up for one month of service at the suggestion of a friend and was going to cancel in one month if nothing happened. As it turned out, something did happen and within two weeks I met this one girl on E-harmony who I had already met at my college, although at the same time I didn't know the two were the same person.

It was uncanny how compatible we were on so many levels; it really felt like I dating an exact replica of myself. I think that there is probably a lot of validity in using solid psychological theory to create tests to find the best matches of potential couples (although I have heard that some respectable psychologists who agree with the idea of using personality tests in dating services say that E-hamrony's tests are wrong and outdated).

Alas, my relationship didn't work out because it ended up being a long-distance relationship when I left for Buffalo. And there were some issues with the ex-gf's family that a test probably couldn't catch that we couldn't get past.

But would do E-harmony again? I think so. I had some very good times in my relationship, and the money spent on the service was well worth it. Even if the ads for e-Harmony are quite very hokey and cliche.

jasoninbuffalo - 11/19/06 02:49
I am actually not bitching about the site itself as a way to meet people. I have not used the site nor do I intend to. I meet enough people in my every day life. The point I was getting at is that Eharmony in general preys upon people (in general) who are desperate and will believe anything. Meeting people is not science..it is trial and error and knowing yourself and what you want. I will say it again, if you date SPECIFICALLY trying to find a person to marry you are setting yourself up for failure.
pyrcedgrrl - 11/19/06 02:38
Hey, you should actually post that ad and see if you get any responses. :)
Years ago my friend had the title "Peanut Butter and Paintbrushes" as a personal ad title and met someone awesome.

If you know that particular site is for people looking for marriage (as you, quite obviously, are not) then why not try another one? (adultfriendfinder, perhaps?)

Or hell, sit on your ass at home and bitch about people who have used that site to find what they were looking for...whatever floats your boat.
notsara - 11/19/06 02:35
Could you be any less of an internet whore?
jenks - 11/17/06 22:36
Are you cutting and posting these posts from another journal or something? (not complaining, just wondering how you wrote so much so fast).
joshua - 11/17/06 21:38
I too am skeptical of eHarmony.

11/17/2006 18:55 #23719

Women Like Assholes
The older I get the more I realize women like assholes....


So let me explain. I know that there may be relative strangers who read this and think, "This guy is a fucking asshole and I hate him." Well, you are not the first nor will you be the last. I REALLY am not a bad guy. I ABSOLUTELY do respect women and nothing you read should make you feel otherwise. I have come to the conclusion in my thirty years that a sure fire way to get most women's attention is to behave in ways that may seem like you don't. I will elaborate.



I went out to a local sports bar the other night with some friends. Now my friends go this establishment often, I do not. I actually to prefer to be on my couch with my laptop instant messaging my friends then spend physical energy on people who I really have only a passing liking for. That is one of my flaws I guess....... So I go to said bar and see my buddies there. They go there several times a week so they know the staff very well. I pony up to the bar and order a drink. The bartender there (cute girl, not my normal type) starts asking my buddy if I am with him, etc... "Oh OB, did you bring another one.......etc. etc..." Now listen, I live my life in hotel and airport bars so I am no stranger to making random coversational banter with the staff.... I am a complete attention whore and need to entertain people in order to make myself feel better. We all do things to make ourselves feel better. Some do drugs, some drink...some masturbate....some tell jokes right? I have a pretty good ability to judge people and I can tell right off the bat she is a smart ass. I kind of like that in a woman. A bad attitude can make an average girl seem more attractive, sexy even. So below are little excerpts from our conversation that evening......... The end of the story is where I prove my point........



Bartender: Hey OB, tell your friend (me) to shut the fuck up.......

Me: I will if you show me your tits......

Bartender: Do you annoy everyone like this?

Me: Only women I want to have sex with........

Bartender: You are really aggravating me right now......

Me: My exwife used to say that all the time, it's a good thing I have a nice penis........



So, the conversation went on like this for a few hours. I know on the surface it makes me look like a real asshole, in fact I MAY be a REAL asshole...only time will tell right....

The fact is that I would NEVER say things like that to a woman if I didn't think it was part of the game..... Whether you are interested in someone or not...we all still play the game.... My game usually is to see how far I can push someone....I like a woman to not really know if shes hates me or if she's madly in love/lust with me..... I like to aggravate a woman to the point where she wants to either punch me in my face or makeout with me passionately......

I have issues I know.....

So on to the point of my story.....(and if I really thought I was being offending towards her I wouldn't of said the things I did, it really was all in good fun....) Ok, at some point there was a football game picking form being sent around. You filled out the form and picked next weeks games...whoever picked the most won something, etc. etc....A lame hat or some other random worthless shit...I filled out the form...address, phone number, penis size...ok, not penis size but I probably would of lied anyway...

So the night ended and I went home. I think I was actually too tired to masturbate as well, weird for me. Last night I am sitting on my couch drinking a beer and watching Project Runway. Isn't that what every heterosexual guy does, watch a reality show about gay fashion designers?? Well I love it and I will always love it.... There is something about gay guys getting in cat fights and calling each other bitches that is very cathartic.......

Long story short.........

I get a text message from an unknown number......

Stranger: Hi

Me: Hi?

Stranger: Do you know who this is?

Me: Please tell me a hot nympho who just walked out of her Sex Addicts Anonymous Meeting after seeing my number on the bathroom wall...

Stranger: Close it is Renee from ****** the Bartender....

Me: Oh so you stole my number from the football card?? (I am quick like that..I am a regular fucking Perry Mason)

Stranger: Yeah you know you wanted me....



Ok..so I will stop there, point proven..... I made NO attemps at getting a date with this woman..... I was kind of dick in a charming way.....She should of really wanted nothing to do with me.... But she did....why is that.... I sometimes think I know but I am always strangely confused and amazed.... I think that is sometimes why I try and push my luck... I am fascinated by human nature.... Laws of attraction......what is intriguing and what is not.........