Sometimes I am not a dick...
Even assholes have feelings right? Yeah, so this is a bit unique for me. Normally what most people who know me see if much different from who I really am as a person. Well maybe I would say it was another major part of me. I am a jerk most of the time, but I am also a person who is very contemplative and introspective.
I am a generally happy guy. For most of you who know me I sincerely enjoy spending time by myself. I enjoy the independence I have and I enjoy my freedom. With that being said.......the holidays can make me a little sad.
I spend my holidays alone. My family and I live only 10 miles apart but we may as well be 10,000 miles apart. I don't spend the holidays with them and have learned to be ok with that. My holidays over the years have always been spent over a significant other's house. I really never recall spending it with my family. I think the reason I get bothered is not about the fact that I am spending them alone nevessarily. I mean I am sure I could find somewhere to spend it. I think the reason is bothers me is that the holidays remind me of my failures in my life. Holidays are designed to spend with love ones and family. Even though I enjoy being alone I can not escape thinking of that fact. It reminds me that I have failed in some way as a father because I am not with my son 100% of the time. I really wish I could of been. It brings up the fact that I have failed at many relationships. It takes two to ruin a relationship but there are always things you feel you could of done differently in your lives to make things better. The holidays are one time of the year I actually feel lonely when it comes around. I think being a little alonely around the holidays is pretty normal though in the grand scheme of things.
Would I like things to be different???.........yeah in a perfect world I would have them different..... Would I change my life or my choices in order to have made it better???....No I don't think I would.....I like where I am.....
Enough introspection...I will be back to being an asshole tomorrow.........
Jasoninbuffalo's Journal
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11/21/2006 21:31 #23722
Sometimes I am not a Dick.....11/20/2006 09:32 #23721
Another reason People don't like me..I am a Dick........
Ok, so I was in Washington DC this week. I spend most of my time in the hotel's lounge, eating getting drunk, and making random conversation with strangers. Most of the time it is just enough to pass the time but every now and then you meet an interesting person or have a funny experience.
I have realized I am a real dick. So I was in the lounge the other day having some dinner and talking to an airline pilot who was sitting next to me. He was a nice enough guy. He answered a lot of my questions about air travel and banging flight attendants (that is really what I was curious about). The funny part came in after I had 5 black and tans and 3 grey goose and tonics.
So after I was drunk I noticed this 40ish woman was sitting on the bar stool to the right of me for about 20 minutes. She was not that attractive. Very plain and just very average. No one was talking to her so I felt like I was going to be a nice guy and involve her in the converstation. (Yes, sometimes I do like to do nice things for people, or maybe it is just my desire for attention.) So I start talking to her, making small talk. "SO what are you at this hotel for, oh really wow great, etc etc etc....." The pilot started talking to her as well, but didn't seem very motivated. So I continued to make small talk for about 5 more minutes. I was in the middle of saying something funny (of course it was funny, it is me we are talking about) when she lifted up her hand, pointed to her wedding band and said, "Oh, I am married, HAPPILY MARRIED......." Then she continued to talk to me about her husband. Ok, I understand you talking about being married and your spouse if it is relevant to the converstation. This was not this woman's intent. Apparently, she wanted to let me know she was married because I was madly deeply, and intenesly, and passionately, in lust with her. Obviously this was not the case. So by now there were about 10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me (I didn't even realize I was doing something that should be rejected). I really didn't think about what I said next, it just kind of came out. I looked at her, and said, "Oh really, you are married???? I REALLY wasn't hitting on you. In fact when I search the internet for women to masturbate to I google Carmen Electra and not women who look like you, no really we can go and look on my laptop if you wish."
She looked at me with distain but I really think she had it coming for being so presumptuous................
Ok, so I was in Washington DC this week. I spend most of my time in the hotel's lounge, eating getting drunk, and making random conversation with strangers. Most of the time it is just enough to pass the time but every now and then you meet an interesting person or have a funny experience.
I have realized I am a real dick. So I was in the lounge the other day having some dinner and talking to an airline pilot who was sitting next to me. He was a nice enough guy. He answered a lot of my questions about air travel and banging flight attendants (that is really what I was curious about). The funny part came in after I had 5 black and tans and 3 grey goose and tonics.
So after I was drunk I noticed this 40ish woman was sitting on the bar stool to the right of me for about 20 minutes. She was not that attractive. Very plain and just very average. No one was talking to her so I felt like I was going to be a nice guy and involve her in the converstation. (Yes, sometimes I do like to do nice things for people, or maybe it is just my desire for attention.) So I start talking to her, making small talk. "SO what are you at this hotel for, oh really wow great, etc etc etc....." The pilot started talking to her as well, but didn't seem very motivated. So I continued to make small talk for about 5 more minutes. I was in the middle of saying something funny (of course it was funny, it is me we are talking about) when she lifted up her hand, pointed to her wedding band and said, "Oh, I am married, HAPPILY MARRIED......." Then she continued to talk to me about her husband. Ok, I understand you talking about being married and your spouse if it is relevant to the converstation. This was not this woman's intent. Apparently, she wanted to let me know she was married because I was madly deeply, and intenesly, and passionately, in lust with her. Obviously this was not the case. So by now there were about 10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me (I didn't even realize I was doing something that should be rejected). I really didn't think about what I said next, it just kind of came out. I looked at her, and said, "Oh really, you are married???? I REALLY wasn't hitting on you. In fact when I search the internet for women to masturbate to I google Carmen Electra and not women who look like you, no really we can go and look on my laptop if you wish."
She looked at me with distain but I really think she had it coming for being so presumptuous................
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 17:33
Yes, I was responding to you. You have had nasty things to say about me after reading my blogs. IE, I must be a slut, and you know other guys like me and they have std's etc. You know nothing about me other than what I write. I completely respect your opinion of me and I honestly do not care. I have enough friends in life. I do get a kick out of the fact that you feel motivated enough to respond to me. I have read your blogs and from them I could assume you are boring and uninteresting but they don't motivate me enough to respond to them. Again, to each their own.
Yes, I was responding to you. You have had nasty things to say about me after reading my blogs. IE, I must be a slut, and you know other guys like me and they have std's etc. You know nothing about me other than what I write. I completely respect your opinion of me and I honestly do not care. I have enough friends in life. I do get a kick out of the fact that you feel motivated enough to respond to me. I have read your blogs and from them I could assume you are boring and uninteresting but they don't motivate me enough to respond to them. Again, to each their own.
pyrcedgrrl - 11/20/06 17:02
I *think* you were responding to me..but I'm a bit confused, as it seems like YOU are the one getting riled up here.
You're absolutely right, I know nothing of the conversation....except the details that you posted....which is exactly what I responded to.
Guess I was PRESUMING that, if there ware any other thrilling details, you would have posted them. :)
I *think* you were responding to me..but I'm a bit confused, as it seems like YOU are the one getting riled up here.
You're absolutely right, I know nothing of the conversation....except the details that you posted....which is exactly what I responded to.
Guess I was PRESUMING that, if there ware any other thrilling details, you would have posted them. :)
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 16:48
ohhhhh and FYI...all my blogs are probably going to be like this so if they offend you and get you that riled up you may not want to click on my name. Thanks for reading though!!!
ohhhhh and FYI...all my blogs are probably going to be like this so if they offend you and get you that riled up you may not want to click on my name. Thanks for reading though!!!
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 16:46
Haha You are a littly high and mighty aren't you. She was very Presumptuous and so are you. You know nothing of our conversation. You know nothing that was said. You know nothing of how she reacted to the initial conversation and you know nothing of what I said to her. With that being said.....I appreciate your right to feel the way you do but I really don't give a fuck what you think of me :) That is the beauty of life. We all have different likes and disklikes and we all look for different personality traits in our friends and acquaintences. Some people I know prefer very friends who I consider very boring and uninteresting. I prefer other types. To each their own.....
Haha You are a littly high and mighty aren't you. She was very Presumptuous and so are you. You know nothing of our conversation. You know nothing that was said. You know nothing of how she reacted to the initial conversation and you know nothing of what I said to her. With that being said.....I appreciate your right to feel the way you do but I really don't give a fuck what you think of me :) That is the beauty of life. We all have different likes and disklikes and we all look for different personality traits in our friends and acquaintences. Some people I know prefer very friends who I consider very boring and uninteresting. I prefer other types. To each their own.....
pyrcedgrrl - 11/20/06 16:41
Okay, so you see a woman sitting alone in a bar, you PRESUME that she wants a self-proclaimed arrogant man-whore to involve her in his adolescent conversation about screwing flight attendants.
Then, when she tries to let you know that she is happy elsewhere and changes the conversation topic, (most likely to get you to leave her the fuck alone) you belittle her?
Honestly, I don't think asshole even comes close.
Yet, I do find this line intriguing: "10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me".
You PRESUMED that the 10 people in the bar gave a damn that you were talking to this woman and would view you a certain way, so you retaliated to...what? Preserve your precious machismo?
Well, I hope whatever you hoped to accomplish by not only behaving like a spoiled child, but also posting about it, works out for you.
Okay, so you see a woman sitting alone in a bar, you PRESUME that she wants a self-proclaimed arrogant man-whore to involve her in his adolescent conversation about screwing flight attendants.
Then, when she tries to let you know that she is happy elsewhere and changes the conversation topic, (most likely to get you to leave her the fuck alone) you belittle her?
Honestly, I don't think asshole even comes close.
Yet, I do find this line intriguing: "10 people at the bar looking at this woman and she rejected me".
You PRESUMED that the 10 people in the bar gave a damn that you were talking to this woman and would view you a certain way, so you retaliated to...what? Preserve your precious machismo?
Well, I hope whatever you hoped to accomplish by not only behaving like a spoiled child, but also posting about it, works out for you.
jason - 11/20/06 13:13
She was being presumptuous, and I cannot stand when you talk to someone and they show you the ring, or mention something about the boyfriend or husband, because they are assuming some things about you and about themselves that, frankly, most of the time are not true, without you having even done anything to give them the impression you were hitting on them.
I woulda been like, okay, fantastic, you're married, but I'm here talking to you, and it's not like every person who says hello wants to fuck you. What a beaut.
She was being presumptuous, and I cannot stand when you talk to someone and they show you the ring, or mention something about the boyfriend or husband, because they are assuming some things about you and about themselves that, frankly, most of the time are not true, without you having even done anything to give them the impression you were hitting on them.
I woulda been like, okay, fantastic, you're married, but I'm here talking to you, and it's not like every person who says hello wants to fuck you. What a beaut.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/20/06 12:04
Well...she was very annoying. I don't think I am hot or not hot..I think I am me. Some people hate me..well many people hate me, but in hating me and me being the way I am I weed out people who I can bond with from people who I want to hit in the head with a shovel and vice versa. It works for me.
Well...she was very annoying. I don't think I am hot or not hot..I think I am me. Some people hate me..well many people hate me, but in hating me and me being the way I am I weed out people who I can bond with from people who I want to hit in the head with a shovel and vice versa. It works for me.
lilho - 11/20/06 12:00
i admit the lady sounded kinda annoying, but you didnt need to be so rude. you better be pretty damn fucking hot to be such a jackass, or you just have the short man syndrome, either way, i hope we dont cross paths. it might get ugly.
i admit the lady sounded kinda annoying, but you didnt need to be so rude. you better be pretty damn fucking hot to be such a jackass, or you just have the short man syndrome, either way, i hope we dont cross paths. it might get ugly.
11/17/2006 19:46 #23720
Eharmony Can Suck ItEHarmony Can Suck It
We have all seen the commercials............ Two lonely people........meeting over the internet......falling in love because of this AWESOME screening system these fucks use.....getting married.......and living happily ever after. Sure...it could happen. I have seen these commercials too. What it really looks like to me is late 30'ish early 40'ish lonely woman, her mom is giving her shit because she has not produced any grand babies yet.......man, living in his mom's basement.....tired of whacking off while mom is upstairs..........you get the point.....
This site is totally bullshit. COULD two people meet on here and fall madly in love and live happily ever after? Sure they could...but I also so pretty woman, a hooker could fall in love with her john. Yeah, so they say they have this scary good personality screening software. Hey assholes.....I have news for you...people don't have to answer the questions honestly. No one is 100 percent honest in the beginning stages or meeting or getting to know someone anyways dipshits. I have news for you EHARMONY...I took that personality screening......it said I had feelings and shit....just ask all of my ex's....obviously this is a flawed system.
This entire site is about finding someone to get married to. If you are ONLY looking to get married you and your relationship is doomed. This kind of motivation leads to nothing positive in the long run and only sets you up for failure. I am tempted on making an EHARMONY profile that is completely ridiculous just to see what kind of desperation I get in return. You know something like......
"My name is Jason, I like long walks on the beach, talking until the sun comes up, cuddling and sexual asphyxiation. I like soft kisses, tender touches, and to be choked out to just before I lose consciousness. I am an active guy, I like to go hiking, running, working out, and chasing down hookers before they escape from that secret room under my house. I am a faithful mate who never cheats, although if you have a hot sister I would like to finger bang her from time to time. I just want to find a woman who understands and loves me for who I am, arrest record and all, and don't worry, the state of New York has made sure that I can no longer possess any firearms. That thing that happened in my last relationship won't happen again, my psychiatrist assures me I am "healthier". I like to spend time at home in the evenings instead of going out as my parole officer generally calls by 8 PM. Anyway... if this interests you and you want to marry me let me know. Thanks for stopping by..........."
Listen, I know this is over the top but you get the point...........
Ok so here are a few harmony "success pictures......
"We met for our first date and things went marvelously. From the beginning, there was a lot in common: we both had lived overseas for a period, love of grandchildren, music, sports and other things. The rest is history. We married on February 14, 2005 (yes, we are romantics) at a resort in Florida. Thanks eHarmony."
--Bob and Diane
Yeah, they had a lot in common, how about the fact that her uterus is shrivled and he has a limp member......awww true love......
"I really didn't think I would find the man I was looking for through eHarmony, but I found Sean and he is everything and more. We are alike on so many levels and our differences make us come together as one even more. Every day we spend together, our feelings keep growing more and more. eHarmony gave me a sense that the people here are looking for a committed relationship and no other website gave me that feeling. eHarmony matched me with Sean and I thank eHarmony for bringing us together."
--Stephanie and Sean
Yeah everyday your feelings keep growing more and more.....so does your dress size lady...good luck with your diabetes......
"Through eHarmony's guided communication process, we were able to get a really good sense of each other's personalities. When we met face to face, we felt like we already knew a lot about each other and the comfort level for both of us was very high. The structured introduction process that eHarmony uses allowed us to really find out about each other's important values and beliefs even before we went on our first date. Finally July 9, 2005, we started our life together as Husband and Wife. Thank you eHarmony for bringing us the love of our lives!"
--Steve and Maria
"Finally July 9, 2005, we started our life together as husband and wife. July 10, 2005 Maria got her green card." Aww how fucking romantic....
Ok...I guess I am not a hopeless romantic...oh well.......
carolinian - 11/19/06 04:06
I agree with the sentiment about looking around to find a warm body to drag to the alter, but I disagree with the overall assessment of e-harmony.
E-harmony matched me up with the most signficant relationship I had to this date (the most recent ex-girlfriend). I had signed up for one month of service at the suggestion of a friend and was going to cancel in one month if nothing happened. As it turned out, something did happen and within two weeks I met this one girl on E-harmony who I had already met at my college, although at the same time I didn't know the two were the same person.
It was uncanny how compatible we were on so many levels; it really felt like I dating an exact replica of myself. I think that there is probably a lot of validity in using solid psychological theory to create tests to find the best matches of potential couples (although I have heard that some respectable psychologists who agree with the idea of using personality tests in dating services say that E-hamrony's tests are wrong and outdated).
Alas, my relationship didn't work out because it ended up being a long-distance relationship when I left for Buffalo. And there were some issues with the ex-gf's family that a test probably couldn't catch that we couldn't get past.
But would do E-harmony again? I think so. I had some very good times in my relationship, and the money spent on the service was well worth it. Even if the ads for e-Harmony are quite very hokey and cliche.
I agree with the sentiment about looking around to find a warm body to drag to the alter, but I disagree with the overall assessment of e-harmony.
E-harmony matched me up with the most signficant relationship I had to this date (the most recent ex-girlfriend). I had signed up for one month of service at the suggestion of a friend and was going to cancel in one month if nothing happened. As it turned out, something did happen and within two weeks I met this one girl on E-harmony who I had already met at my college, although at the same time I didn't know the two were the same person.
It was uncanny how compatible we were on so many levels; it really felt like I dating an exact replica of myself. I think that there is probably a lot of validity in using solid psychological theory to create tests to find the best matches of potential couples (although I have heard that some respectable psychologists who agree with the idea of using personality tests in dating services say that E-hamrony's tests are wrong and outdated).
Alas, my relationship didn't work out because it ended up being a long-distance relationship when I left for Buffalo. And there were some issues with the ex-gf's family that a test probably couldn't catch that we couldn't get past.
But would do E-harmony again? I think so. I had some very good times in my relationship, and the money spent on the service was well worth it. Even if the ads for e-Harmony are quite very hokey and cliche.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/19/06 02:49
I am actually not bitching about the site itself as a way to meet people. I have not used the site nor do I intend to. I meet enough people in my every day life. The point I was getting at is that Eharmony in general preys upon people (in general) who are desperate and will believe anything. Meeting people is not science..it is trial and error and knowing yourself and what you want. I will say it again, if you date SPECIFICALLY trying to find a person to marry you are setting yourself up for failure.
I am actually not bitching about the site itself as a way to meet people. I have not used the site nor do I intend to. I meet enough people in my every day life. The point I was getting at is that Eharmony in general preys upon people (in general) who are desperate and will believe anything. Meeting people is not science..it is trial and error and knowing yourself and what you want. I will say it again, if you date SPECIFICALLY trying to find a person to marry you are setting yourself up for failure.
pyrcedgrrl - 11/19/06 02:38
Hey, you should actually post that ad and see if you get any responses. :)
Years ago my friend had the title "Peanut Butter and Paintbrushes" as a personal ad title and met someone awesome.
If you know that particular site is for people looking for marriage (as you, quite obviously, are not) then why not try another one? (adultfriendfinder, perhaps?)
Or hell, sit on your ass at home and bitch about people who have used that site to find what they were looking for...whatever floats your boat.
Hey, you should actually post that ad and see if you get any responses. :)
Years ago my friend had the title "Peanut Butter and Paintbrushes" as a personal ad title and met someone awesome.
If you know that particular site is for people looking for marriage (as you, quite obviously, are not) then why not try another one? (adultfriendfinder, perhaps?)
Or hell, sit on your ass at home and bitch about people who have used that site to find what they were looking for...whatever floats your boat.
notsara - 11/19/06 02:35
Could you be any less of an internet whore?
Could you be any less of an internet whore?
jenks - 11/17/06 22:36
Are you cutting and posting these posts from another journal or something? (not complaining, just wondering how you wrote so much so fast).
Are you cutting and posting these posts from another journal or something? (not complaining, just wondering how you wrote so much so fast).
joshua - 11/17/06 21:38
I too am skeptical of eHarmony.
I too am skeptical of eHarmony.
11/17/2006 18:55 #23719
Women Like AssholesThe older I get the more I realize women like assholes....
So let me explain. I know that there may be relative strangers who read this and think, "This guy is a fucking asshole and I hate him." Well, you are not the first nor will you be the last. I REALLY am not a bad guy. I ABSOLUTELY do respect women and nothing you read should make you feel otherwise. I have come to the conclusion in my thirty years that a sure fire way to get most women's attention is to behave in ways that may seem like you don't. I will elaborate.
I went out to a local sports bar the other night with some friends. Now my friends go this establishment often, I do not. I actually to prefer to be on my couch with my laptop instant messaging my friends then spend physical energy on people who I really have only a passing liking for. That is one of my flaws I guess....... So I go to said bar and see my buddies there. They go there several times a week so they know the staff very well. I pony up to the bar and order a drink. The bartender there (cute girl, not my normal type) starts asking my buddy if I am with him, etc... "Oh OB, did you bring another one.......etc. etc..." Now listen, I live my life in hotel and airport bars so I am no stranger to making random coversational banter with the staff.... I am a complete attention whore and need to entertain people in order to make myself feel better. We all do things to make ourselves feel better. Some do drugs, some drink...some masturbate....some tell jokes right? I have a pretty good ability to judge people and I can tell right off the bat she is a smart ass. I kind of like that in a woman. A bad attitude can make an average girl seem more attractive, sexy even. So below are little excerpts from our conversation that evening......... The end of the story is where I prove my point........
Bartender: Hey OB, tell your friend (me) to shut the fuck up.......
Me: I will if you show me your tits......
Bartender: Do you annoy everyone like this?
Me: Only women I want to have sex with........
Bartender: You are really aggravating me right now......
Me: My exwife used to say that all the time, it's a good thing I have a nice penis........
So, the conversation went on like this for a few hours. I know on the surface it makes me look like a real asshole, in fact I MAY be a REAL asshole...only time will tell right....
The fact is that I would NEVER say things like that to a woman if I didn't think it was part of the game..... Whether you are interested in someone or not...we all still play the game.... My game usually is to see how far I can push someone....I like a woman to not really know if shes hates me or if she's madly in love/lust with me..... I like to aggravate a woman to the point where she wants to either punch me in my face or makeout with me passionately......
I have issues I know.....
So on to the point of my story.....(and if I really thought I was being offending towards her I wouldn't of said the things I did, it really was all in good fun....) Ok, at some point there was a football game picking form being sent around. You filled out the form and picked next weeks games...whoever picked the most won something, etc. etc....A lame hat or some other random worthless shit...I filled out the form...address, phone number, penis size...ok, not penis size but I probably would of lied anyway...
So the night ended and I went home. I think I was actually too tired to masturbate as well, weird for me. Last night I am sitting on my couch drinking a beer and watching Project Runway. Isn't that what every heterosexual guy does, watch a reality show about gay fashion designers?? Well I love it and I will always love it.... There is something about gay guys getting in cat fights and calling each other bitches that is very cathartic.......
Long story short.........
I get a text message from an unknown number......
Stranger: Hi
Me: Hi?
Stranger: Do you know who this is?
Me: Please tell me a hot nympho who just walked out of her Sex Addicts Anonymous Meeting after seeing my number on the bathroom wall...
Stranger: Close it is Renee from ****** the Bartender....
Me: Oh so you stole my number from the football card?? (I am quick like that..I am a regular fucking Perry Mason)
Stranger: Yeah you know you wanted me....
Ok..so I will stop there, point proven..... I made NO attemps at getting a date with this woman..... I was kind of dick in a charming way.....She should of really wanted nothing to do with me.... But she did....why is that.... I sometimes think I know but I am always strangely confused and amazed.... I think that is sometimes why I try and push my luck... I am fascinated by human nature.... Laws of attraction......what is intriguing and what is not.........
So let me explain. I know that there may be relative strangers who read this and think, "This guy is a fucking asshole and I hate him." Well, you are not the first nor will you be the last. I REALLY am not a bad guy. I ABSOLUTELY do respect women and nothing you read should make you feel otherwise. I have come to the conclusion in my thirty years that a sure fire way to get most women's attention is to behave in ways that may seem like you don't. I will elaborate.
I went out to a local sports bar the other night with some friends. Now my friends go this establishment often, I do not. I actually to prefer to be on my couch with my laptop instant messaging my friends then spend physical energy on people who I really have only a passing liking for. That is one of my flaws I guess....... So I go to said bar and see my buddies there. They go there several times a week so they know the staff very well. I pony up to the bar and order a drink. The bartender there (cute girl, not my normal type) starts asking my buddy if I am with him, etc... "Oh OB, did you bring another one.......etc. etc..." Now listen, I live my life in hotel and airport bars so I am no stranger to making random coversational banter with the staff.... I am a complete attention whore and need to entertain people in order to make myself feel better. We all do things to make ourselves feel better. Some do drugs, some drink...some masturbate....some tell jokes right? I have a pretty good ability to judge people and I can tell right off the bat she is a smart ass. I kind of like that in a woman. A bad attitude can make an average girl seem more attractive, sexy even. So below are little excerpts from our conversation that evening......... The end of the story is where I prove my point........
Bartender: Hey OB, tell your friend (me) to shut the fuck up.......
Me: I will if you show me your tits......
Bartender: Do you annoy everyone like this?
Me: Only women I want to have sex with........
Bartender: You are really aggravating me right now......
Me: My exwife used to say that all the time, it's a good thing I have a nice penis........
So, the conversation went on like this for a few hours. I know on the surface it makes me look like a real asshole, in fact I MAY be a REAL asshole...only time will tell right....
The fact is that I would NEVER say things like that to a woman if I didn't think it was part of the game..... Whether you are interested in someone or not...we all still play the game.... My game usually is to see how far I can push someone....I like a woman to not really know if shes hates me or if she's madly in love/lust with me..... I like to aggravate a woman to the point where she wants to either punch me in my face or makeout with me passionately......
I have issues I know.....
So on to the point of my story.....(and if I really thought I was being offending towards her I wouldn't of said the things I did, it really was all in good fun....) Ok, at some point there was a football game picking form being sent around. You filled out the form and picked next weeks games...whoever picked the most won something, etc. etc....A lame hat or some other random worthless shit...I filled out the form...address, phone number, penis size...ok, not penis size but I probably would of lied anyway...
So the night ended and I went home. I think I was actually too tired to masturbate as well, weird for me. Last night I am sitting on my couch drinking a beer and watching Project Runway. Isn't that what every heterosexual guy does, watch a reality show about gay fashion designers?? Well I love it and I will always love it.... There is something about gay guys getting in cat fights and calling each other bitches that is very cathartic.......
Long story short.........
I get a text message from an unknown number......
Stranger: Hi
Me: Hi?
Stranger: Do you know who this is?
Me: Please tell me a hot nympho who just walked out of her Sex Addicts Anonymous Meeting after seeing my number on the bathroom wall...
Stranger: Close it is Renee from ****** the Bartender....
Me: Oh so you stole my number from the football card?? (I am quick like that..I am a regular fucking Perry Mason)
Stranger: Yeah you know you wanted me....
Ok..so I will stop there, point proven..... I made NO attemps at getting a date with this woman..... I was kind of dick in a charming way.....She should of really wanted nothing to do with me.... But she did....why is that.... I sometimes think I know but I am always strangely confused and amazed.... I think that is sometimes why I try and push my luck... I am fascinated by human nature.... Laws of attraction......what is intriguing and what is not.........
11/17/2006 18:52 #23718
My Interview with JCOk.....I make fun of religion. I was born and raised Catholic but do not practice...........here is something I did for another site. It was either interview JC or OJ...I picked the lesser of two evils.
My Interview with JC
So I had a dream last night that I was interviewing our Lord and Savior, that's right I had an dream I interviewed Ryan Seacrest...ok, no really I had a dream I interviewed Jesus Christ. I don't really recall the extent of the dream because I was too busy humping my mattress but it got me thinking......Jesus seems like a pretty hip guy. I bet he would be a great fucking interview during sweeps week on just about any show. I am pretty sure he wouldn't do Oprah though because she's a real bitch. Ok..so here is what I think an interview with Jesus would be like....
Me: Jesus, thank you for joining us. The world has been waiting for your return. You have laid low the last 2000 years, what have you been doing?
JC: Thanks for having me on, before I start I just want to give a shout out to the all the believers and non-believers.....Bethlehem in the Muthafuckin hizzay!!!!! But seriously, I HAVE laid low for a while. I haven't been up to much. I have been planning my glorious return for a couple thousand years as well as watching reruns of the Cosby Show. C'mon I am all for equality on TV but a black doctor and lawyer in the same family with kids who get good grades with no arrest records...talk about over the top.....
Me: Wow Jesus, aren't you afraid of angering the black community with statements like those?
JC: Don't hate, I'm only playing. I love the black community. Al Shartpon, Jesse Jackson and I drink 40's knock up white women and shoot dice at my crib in Harlem every Friday, except good Friday (I'm a little busy on that day)
ME: Wow, I didn't realize that you would have such a great sense of humor. Who were your comedic influences over the year?
JC: I love comedy. Ever since Judas PUNKED me in the garden I have been a sucker for a good gag. Look, I still have those marks on my head...ohhh that Judas, he is almost as good at punking as that Ashton Kutcher kid. No but really, George Carlin, Dave Attell, and Eddie Murphy before he became an unle tom have all been really big influences. Dane Cook is really popular with the college kids these days, but really Dane, even my crucifixion would be funny to kids who drank a bottle of Jack Daniels and smoke a blunt before they came to it. Little advise, more jokes less rolling around on stage Dane.
Me: So Jesus, I can tell you really like pop culture. What do you like on TV these days?
JC: That depends, is that before or after I have drank a fifth of "jesus juice"? No seriously, I do watch a lot of TV. Ever since I got that plasma my father can't get me off of my thrown. I am like any other single guy. I watch south park, American Idol, and yeah, Clay Aiken is clearly gay...don't front Clay, I can read mind. I have to admit, I love project runway, call metrosexual but Hedi Klum is SMOKIN.... My father had the right idea pulling that rib out of adam now didn't he.....
Me: So, Jesus, interesting segway. It is obvious you have attraction for the opposite sex. There are rumors you had an affair and married that prostitute Mary Magdeline. Is there any truth to these rumors?
JC: Listen. I am not going to kiss and tell here. All I will say is remember that movie pretty woman????? Yeah....some say the idea for that movie was "Divine Intervention".....Next Question.......
Me: I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. Have you seen any good movies lately?
JC: I generally like to go to movies that make me laugh. Most of my time is spent damning people to hell and fighting Satan so on my offtime I like to have a few laughs and maybe see some titties. That passion of the Christ movie was pretty funny.......listen people..I am allowed to make fun of myself here, that WAS me on that heavy ass cross now wasn't it....... You know the shit they are putting out in Hollywood is pretty miserable these days. Borat was pretty funny....since I converted I make fun of jews a lot too.
Me: Wow Jesus, I didn't realize you were such a big fan or toilet humor. We are almost out of time, is there anything else you would like to say before you leave?
JC: Yeah, make sure you check out my new Record produced by P Diddy, Salvation 2006 in stores late fall. Support your artists niggas, don't download. I'd like to give a shout out to my home boys in the BK/Bronx.... Much love, I would like to tell all those bitches who win grammy and academy awards to stop thanking my father on stage.....he doesn't give a shit about your acting and he wouldn't even touch most of you with Satan's dick....... I'd like to say what up to that little Puerto Rican girl who caught my eye on the corner of 5th and Lexington earlier...what up ma....and lastly..remember to keep the lord's day holy or you will forever burn in the fiery pits of hell, or as I refer to it, any place where Rosie O'Donnel is............
PEACE....JC OUT.........seacrest, you know you stole that line for me........watch for me on the next Dancing with the Stars series.....Walking on water...try dancing on water niggas..........
Funny or not funny....I have too much free time on my hands........oh well....
My Interview with JC
So I had a dream last night that I was interviewing our Lord and Savior, that's right I had an dream I interviewed Ryan Seacrest...ok, no really I had a dream I interviewed Jesus Christ. I don't really recall the extent of the dream because I was too busy humping my mattress but it got me thinking......Jesus seems like a pretty hip guy. I bet he would be a great fucking interview during sweeps week on just about any show. I am pretty sure he wouldn't do Oprah though because she's a real bitch. Ok..so here is what I think an interview with Jesus would be like....
Me: Jesus, thank you for joining us. The world has been waiting for your return. You have laid low the last 2000 years, what have you been doing?
JC: Thanks for having me on, before I start I just want to give a shout out to the all the believers and non-believers.....Bethlehem in the Muthafuckin hizzay!!!!! But seriously, I HAVE laid low for a while. I haven't been up to much. I have been planning my glorious return for a couple thousand years as well as watching reruns of the Cosby Show. C'mon I am all for equality on TV but a black doctor and lawyer in the same family with kids who get good grades with no arrest records...talk about over the top.....
Me: Wow Jesus, aren't you afraid of angering the black community with statements like those?
JC: Don't hate, I'm only playing. I love the black community. Al Shartpon, Jesse Jackson and I drink 40's knock up white women and shoot dice at my crib in Harlem every Friday, except good Friday (I'm a little busy on that day)
ME: Wow, I didn't realize that you would have such a great sense of humor. Who were your comedic influences over the year?
JC: I love comedy. Ever since Judas PUNKED me in the garden I have been a sucker for a good gag. Look, I still have those marks on my head...ohhh that Judas, he is almost as good at punking as that Ashton Kutcher kid. No but really, George Carlin, Dave Attell, and Eddie Murphy before he became an unle tom have all been really big influences. Dane Cook is really popular with the college kids these days, but really Dane, even my crucifixion would be funny to kids who drank a bottle of Jack Daniels and smoke a blunt before they came to it. Little advise, more jokes less rolling around on stage Dane.
Me: So Jesus, I can tell you really like pop culture. What do you like on TV these days?
JC: That depends, is that before or after I have drank a fifth of "jesus juice"? No seriously, I do watch a lot of TV. Ever since I got that plasma my father can't get me off of my thrown. I am like any other single guy. I watch south park, American Idol, and yeah, Clay Aiken is clearly gay...don't front Clay, I can read mind. I have to admit, I love project runway, call metrosexual but Hedi Klum is SMOKIN.... My father had the right idea pulling that rib out of adam now didn't he.....
Me: So, Jesus, interesting segway. It is obvious you have attraction for the opposite sex. There are rumors you had an affair and married that prostitute Mary Magdeline. Is there any truth to these rumors?
JC: Listen. I am not going to kiss and tell here. All I will say is remember that movie pretty woman????? Yeah....some say the idea for that movie was "Divine Intervention".....Next Question.......
Me: I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject. Have you seen any good movies lately?
JC: I generally like to go to movies that make me laugh. Most of my time is spent damning people to hell and fighting Satan so on my offtime I like to have a few laughs and maybe see some titties. That passion of the Christ movie was pretty funny.......listen people..I am allowed to make fun of myself here, that WAS me on that heavy ass cross now wasn't it....... You know the shit they are putting out in Hollywood is pretty miserable these days. Borat was pretty funny....since I converted I make fun of jews a lot too.
Me: Wow Jesus, I didn't realize you were such a big fan or toilet humor. We are almost out of time, is there anything else you would like to say before you leave?
JC: Yeah, make sure you check out my new Record produced by P Diddy, Salvation 2006 in stores late fall. Support your artists niggas, don't download. I'd like to give a shout out to my home boys in the BK/Bronx.... Much love, I would like to tell all those bitches who win grammy and academy awards to stop thanking my father on stage.....he doesn't give a shit about your acting and he wouldn't even touch most of you with Satan's dick....... I'd like to say what up to that little Puerto Rican girl who caught my eye on the corner of 5th and Lexington earlier...what up ma....and lastly..remember to keep the lord's day holy or you will forever burn in the fiery pits of hell, or as I refer to it, any place where Rosie O'Donnel is............
PEACE....JC OUT.........seacrest, you know you stole that line for me........watch for me on the next Dancing with the Stars series.....Walking on water...try dancing on water niggas..........
Funny or not funny....I have too much free time on my hands........oh well....
1 -- You're still a dick.
2 -- You're a good father. Shut up. You do the best you can, given the situation. And you've got YEARS to go to to rectify or do anything you think you haven't done so far.
3 -- I hate the holidays too. I told you, come hang out with me, and we can be anti-holiday together, but you're a jerk.
Thanks man....
Dude, I just got caught up on the posts. This cracks me up. Welcome to estrip!