Yo (e:peeps) - I'm back! What's up in the blogosphere? I had an awesome time in Orlando. I'll post some pics of your beautiful (and humble) correspondent and his buddies getting into all sorts of trouble. Not until I get them in the e-mail, however, so I'll just sum it up for you: I never thought I would witness married (and otherwise attached) men misbehaving so badly. Out of about 8 married guys less than half didn't cheat. Oh yeah, the bachelor ended up in bed with another woman. Cool, huh? Of course she will never know about it. I don't know how I feel about that, but I know I don't act that way when I'm attached. Other than that I had a fantastic time. Again we narrowly avoided trouble with the police and had about as much fun as a bunch of guys can have when let loose on the town. It was exactly what I needed. My confidence is restored and I'm feeling more focused. Maybe that also has something to do with the fact I haven't smoked pot in 5 days. *cough*

Jason

Way too much fun here. Last night we went to this place called Mako's, which blurs the line between bar and strip club. The hottest girls you've ever seen get on swings and for $20 you get a swing ride with them, where they get all seductive and shit. By the way they are wearing bra and panties only. My buddy literally got his ass PADDLED by one of the girls. She didn't lay off either, she swung real hard at him. The entire bar was watching. I can't believe how gorgeous the girls are here! It's unbelievable! The regular girls in the club were just as hot as the naked ones on the swings! I'm moving here ASAP! Oh, sorry we weren't allowed to take pics in there.....

Ahem....anyway your humble correspondant almost got into a fight last night. Now I'm not the type to talk trash or start anything. I'm just not like that. This is the way it always happens for me: I'm minding my own business, waiting for my friends to get out of the club when this girl walks up to me and grabs my face. She said "You're so cute! You need a girlfriend! You're too cute not to have one!" She grabbed my hand and started walking with me. We got to her friends (guys and girls) and one of the guys starts yelling at me, telling me I should just go find my friends (he was missing a tooth so I think he talked shit to someone else before). I was like "what?" and the girl grabs me and tells me to kiss her, right on the street. The guy warned me not to but you know what? I stuck my tongue down that chick's throat. He looked like he wanted to kill me but my 7 buddies saw what was happening and looked out for me. Thank God.

Going to Islands of Adventure to ride some coasters now! Stay cool, e-strip.

Jason

Well I just woke up. We are staying in this $500K house we rented for Wed-Sun. I already broke my pact to not drink. I got drunk last night and now I'm paying for it. It's hard not to drink at a Bachelor Party.

(e:Metalpeter) told me it is going to snow in the B-Low this weekend! Holy poop! I'm glad I'm down here. It's beautiful down here. The water from the pool and jacuzzi is really soothing. We have a bunch of characters down here for the party so I'll have some good stories for you. Hopefully I won't embarrass myself! Peace.

Jason

....but today I'm off to sunny Orlando! A college roommate of mine is having his bachelor party down there. I've been doing pretty well in that I have stayed away from the alcohol. I hope I have what it takes to restrain myself down there! And oh yeah, we may see some naked ladies. That should lift my sprits. Anyway I'll attach a pic of my best forced smile so you all know I'm doing okay. Have fun in the B-Low the next few days! Keep it real, e-strip!

Jason

I don't know how someone can be so consistently miserable all the time. Doesn't it get boring writing article after article containing nothing more than an angry rant? Here's a better question - why don't they write about something they actually advocate? Now there's a progressive idea. I'm sick of assholes that have nothing to offer but a bitchfest. I'll say it again - people will tune your fool ass out if all you have to contribute is partisan blather. Do you have it in you to contribute something of value to the process or are you only snipe artists? I'll paraphrase a question that (e:Paul) asked me one day - if it is so horrible here why are you not on a boat to Cuba or France or Denmark or wherever the fuck you want to go? Some people are miserable because of legit medical problems...I can't imagine for the life of me why someone would actually WANT to live that way.

Jason