Good to be back to work....*barf*

Plus I had to break it to the girl I hooked up with that I just can't be her man. I mean when you really think about it do you want to be with someone who you know is capable of lying to you or cheating on you? Not me. I told her I was sorry, that I could not be her man because of X, Y, and Z reasons......and it was like she never even heard me. She said "Oh we'll talk about it later"...."I'll give you until tomorrow"....so on and so forth. Guys you know the game. I'm thinking to myself, "No dammit I don't need to talk about it any more, I don't need any more time or to think about it any more." but of course couldn't bring myself to be mean to her as we both already felt crappy enough. For a few days I felt so bad about what happened and how it had all gone down. Actually part of me still feels bad. My brother assures me that I made the right decision.

One other thing that bothers me about the situation. My friends said to me "Hey man you can do a lot better than her looks wise" and other things of that nature. I've dated some very lovely girls before and you know what I got out of it? Emotionally destroyed, blood sucked out of me, left to wonder whether it was worth dating at all. Guys don't admit this crap much but it happens to all of us at some point. Of course I want someone I'm attracted to, but I'll take the 7 who gives a shit about me before the 10 who only cares about how much cash she can extract. Hot girls who know they are good looking and descend into uber-bitchdom are a dime a dozen. They are all over the place. Maybe there are things that are just as important if not more important than that, at least for me. Like being faithful. Being compassionate. Being there for your man. Stuff like that. Being hot is only one part of the equation.

Besides that, I don't know, I'm not all that excited about what's going on right now. Maybe it's Post Bills Loss Syndrome. I wish I were still on vacation. I need to be alone and to meditate or something. I don't know.

Jason

I feel so fucking low. I woke up and saw 10 empty beer bottles and an empty pack of cigs. I'll just have to explain later.

Jason

Yes I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. I'm not on the strip right now (at home visiting Gramama), but yesterday when I left it was like Mother Nature was having PMS or something. Good God. I had to take a photo of it with my sidekick and e-mail it to my friends in Florida. By the way, (e:paul) I have not posted from my sidekick yet but I did surf around the site yesterday on it. It is so amazing. I can't begin to explain how happy I am with it so far. I'll be posting pics of my beautiful mug and various other things soon enough.

Anyway I do have more to say but it is time for our family Christmas Day meal. I am going to make a trip back to Elmwood tonight briefly and if anyone wants to say hello I'll be on my sidekick on AIM (Danq750).

Jason

Like (e:anna) I am freezing. I woke up the other day thinking WTF is up with Mother Nature being on her period? Bee-hotch. So now I have to go get the plastic and try to cut it into the proper shape for the custom windows here. It's like I got the AC running up in this.

(e:soyeon) - I hope you are having fun in Korea!

Oh yeah I got my Sidekick 2 today from the mailman so I am really excited. Time to build the Elmwood hot chick photo collection! Just joking!

Damn I am on vacation yet I have shit to do. I'll write back later.

Jason

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