Your story about your "Queer Theory" professor hasn't gone unnoticed.

Left wing bias is already bad enough, but what really gets me mad is the suppresion of discussion that goes on, as well as examples like yours where someone is verbally attacked for no good reason. I was shocked when I read it. Let's put it this way - you handled it much better than I would have. I would have had a very hard time suppressing my anger. That professor would have paid a cost for saying something like that to me. I think you reacted so well, so kudos to you. I give you a virtual pat in the back.

I'm sure you and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. I don't see eye to eye with almost everyone here on certain subjects. I doubt you had any kind of bad intentions when deciding to take the class. People sign up for classes because they are interested in learning about the subject matter. I think you never deserved to be treated like you were. Don't let some moron professor make you have second thoughts about your talent and intelligence. Don't let one person's hatred and intolerance influence you that way. I hope you take this as a lesson in how to deal with people like that (left wing, right wing, whatever), and move on. You were admitted to graduate school because you are qualified to handle it! You know this! Forget about that fool and keep on working hard toward your goals. You have to believe in yourself, or else nobody will.

Jason

After (e:southernyankee) asking, and after (e:soyeon) asking, and after reading my own personal poem, I decided to try and see if I could post. With this new account I can, so I will. This new account works great so far. Paul, feel free to delete my other attempts to sign up, (e:BoredRepub) and (e:NeoconFury)

I see that the hate has simmered down a little, and I'm glad. Unless you are a Niman disciple and believe the sky is falling. I bet (e:ajay) misses having a right-leaning person to needle. I miss this site. It is such a good thing. I like reading about what you all have to say. I am truly interested.

I met yet another e-strip person recently. I met the lovely and intelligent (e:soyeon) for coffee. She used her feminine powers to get out of a parking ticket ("PLEASE! PLEASE!"), as I watched in stunned silence. It was so nice to meet another person from the site. She has been giving me very good advice in the last couple of weeks.

I'll give you all an update - I "broke up" with the girl I was seeing. I should have done this a long time ago, but I hesitated to do so because I knew she would be crushed. This was a mistake. She was crushed anyway. I do feel really bad, and I don't have anything "bad" to say about her, but I wasn't feeling it that way. I couldn't trust her. How can you be with someone you don't trust? It just doesn't work out. So now I'm having dreams about another girl - someone I don't recognize, other than her vague resemblance to Carin. I love Carin unconditionally. I don't know if I'll ever get a shot. She is so positive and so happy all the time, no matter what the situation is. I am just me, and she has a million guys waiting in line. I have to win the mega millions or do something else to differentiate myself from the riff raff. Enough of this mushy garbage. It's not manly of me to talk like this. And we already know that thinking like this inevitably results in FAILURE. I don't like to fail.

I overheard someone at Spot today talk about how sweet William S. Burroughs' Naked Lunch was. I have a copy of that book. Apparently this person never knew the guy was hopped up on drugs while writing it, and never remembered writing most of it. I'll be up front and say I'm not a big fan of fiction books. I don't have the patience to wait for the story to develop. I like non-fiction and poetry. That being said - I'll be blunt and say that I think Naked Lunch is a heaping pile of crap. If there are people who think that someone can go through a Trainspotting-esque binge and come up with something remotely close to "genius", I would like to invite them over to watch me smoke a bowl and come up with my haiku and political cartoons. Of course I believe there is room for all opinions, so I accept their notion as it is, but I have to vehemently disagree.

Hmm. I guess that's all for now. Dad's coming up here in an hour and I get to hit some golf balls with him. Everyone should have something they can do to relax and recharge. Golf is my thing.

Jason

I am writing this on your journal to show you it works here. I have no idea what is wrong. My suggestions are delete your cookies and cache. If that doesn't work not send me an email with the system you are using, browser info, etc. But I am having no problem logging in as you here.

--Paul

They don't like me. A guy with an extensive criminal record is preferable to a Republican around these parts. I see that scenario played out all the damn time. You see a Liberal friend of mine told me one day that if I want Liberal girls, I gotta have some drugs. He said "If you buy the plant they will come" but I still don't see Liberal girls in my apartment! Maybe I can be an obnoxious, self righteous asshole to the police and get my ass beat. Perhaps that will provoke them to hit me off with some sympathy nookie. I don't know. If you guys have any further pointers I would really love it because finding a nice conservative girl in this hood is like finding soap on a hippie.

Jason

Good to be back to work....*barf*

Plus I had to break it to the girl I hooked up with that I just can't be her man. I mean when you really think about it do you want to be with someone who you know is capable of lying to you or cheating on you? Not me. I told her I was sorry, that I could not be her man because of X, Y, and Z reasons......and it was like she never even heard me. She said "Oh we'll talk about it later"...."I'll give you until tomorrow"....so on and so forth. Guys you know the game. I'm thinking to myself, "No dammit I don't need to talk about it any more, I don't need any more time or to think about it any more." but of course couldn't bring myself to be mean to her as we both already felt crappy enough. For a few days I felt so bad about what happened and how it had all gone down. Actually part of me still feels bad. My brother assures me that I made the right decision.

One other thing that bothers me about the situation. My friends said to me "Hey man you can do a lot better than her looks wise" and other things of that nature. I've dated some very lovely girls before and you know what I got out of it? Emotionally destroyed, blood sucked out of me, left to wonder whether it was worth dating at all. Guys don't admit this crap much but it happens to all of us at some point. Of course I want someone I'm attracted to, but I'll take the 7 who gives a shit about me before the 10 who only cares about how much cash she can extract. Hot girls who know they are good looking and descend into uber-bitchdom are a dime a dozen. They are all over the place. Maybe there are things that are just as important if not more important than that, at least for me. Like being faithful. Being compassionate. Being there for your man. Stuff like that. Being hot is only one part of the equation.

Besides that, I don't know, I'm not all that excited about what's going on right now. Maybe it's Post Bills Loss Syndrome. I wish I were still on vacation. I need to be alone and to meditate or something. I don't know.

Jason