those damn bastards must be runnig late by the time they get to our house cuz for two days in a row now they've left a ''sorry we missed you'' stickie on our door when we were clearly at home. wtf, I understand once, but twice? but I guess it's not really a bad thing since the package is coins that are automaticaly sent from some coin collection company that my stepfather always orders from and my mom bitches at him for doing so. last time she didn't find out until she got the bill for 2000 dollars. oh he was in the shit house then and he was strictly forbidden from buying anything without her approval first. he thinks that its this huge investment, she'd rather invest the money in real investments.

thank god I'm back at my house where my mother's stingyness makes it comfortable to sleep. she turns down the heat to 60 degrees every night and I grown used to sleeping in a cool climate. last night I slept somewhere else and it was so fucking hot that I felt like I was going to explode. it stuffs me up and I can't breathe and it makes me feel all swolen and tired and not rested. I hate hate hate sleeping in a hot room, especially if its in the winter time with artificial heat.

the last wo days at work have been completely unproductive. both days I went for long lunches, came in late and left really early. work can wait. I have things that need to get done.

oh how I wish I could be back in london like I was last year at this time, remember peeps? I don't know where last year's london entry is but the pics are still up on shutterfly. the weather we're having now is the kind that london had both times I went, but sunnier. I will die if I don't get to move to europe. I mean it. I will shrivel up and wither soon. I feel such a pull there that I will absolutely do everything in my power to end up there one way or another. maybe I can do research there. sure I can. I just need to learn another language, ASAP! french or german. what are the official languages of the united nations?

I'm not getting any younger and the years are ticking away. I have four years until my daughter goes to college and then she better go somewhere but here because I am outie! she can come with and study there, but the plan is that I will leave as soon as she is out of high school. funny thing is, she wants to live abroad too. I guess all the traveling has put a bug in her ear too.

ok, my thumbs are hurting from typing on this phone. I must help with the cooking and getting the holiday stuff done.

czesc!

oh and one more thing, I upgraded my netflix membership on wednesday to the 8 movie option so that we'd have stuff to watch for the break. just till the end of the month. so now I have 6 movies at the house and 2 more on the way including the new pirates of the carribean and little miss sunshine.

ok, everyone that has let me know that they wanted to participate in secret santa has been assigned their people, so please check you post-it's and/or email to see who you got. if you don't know the person who you were assigned very well, check out their journal to get a feel for who they are and what they like. if they don't have very many journals, well.....then.....you're on your own, sorry!

if anyone still wants to join, it's not too late, just let me know. we will be exchanging the gifts at the (e:pmt) holiday party on December 31'st so you still have 2 weeks to do shopping, and if you wait until after xmas to do your shopping i bet you can get some pretty good deals.

so please, if there is anyone out there that still wants to get in to the gift giving spirit, let me know. the more the merrier!

since this is a secret gift exchange, don't put your name on the gift, just put the name of the recipient on the box/bag. we'll stash the presents somewhere at pmt's house until everyone shows up and then everyone can claim their gifts.

this should be loads of fun, i'd like to thank everyone who participated and encourage the one's who still haven't to possibly reconsider. what better way to spend new years eve, than to clutch a glass of champagne in one hand and a gift in the other!

and happy hanukah to (e:carolinian) and happy birthday to (e:metalpeter) !

I'm feeling so shitty lately. I want to run away, somewhere where no one will ever find me. not my friends, not my family. I feel stuck. like I will never get to live out what I wanted. its time to realize that my life will never be what I had hope it would be. and I have no one to blame but my self.

finally got the house in order, not without a fight with my mom, but all nice and pretty never the less.

I wish I had scandalous things to post like other people on here but my life is boring. oh wait, I did have scandalous things but they were waaaay too scandalous to post. so I will just talk about my christmas decorations.