the only thing to fear?
someone once said was itself.
believe in what you, yourself
know as truth in the seed of your
soul

do not deny the flesh,
it is flush with the emotions of
the heart
breathing in the passion of the sun
high in summer's skies
licking cool dew of nite times
lovers.

confidence in future miracles
only if roots take hold in these dunes
the ocean and the winds conspire against me

May day has come and gone. I always liked the first day of this month. it means only 4 more days until my birthday. good ole cinco de maio or is the de a di? 05/05/05. not too often that happens. pretty cool huh. well i feel as if i am selling my self out. I have an interview on tuesday, and well i already have a gut feeling that it is not going to be a job that i would want to be doing. I have been applying for sales positions. something i detest. Now i am not saying that it is a horrible job for everyone. some people are really really good at it. it is something that i am not good at. but i have come to the end of my rope working for this tyrannt of a man who is my boss. ah but summer is on the way, said it would be here in 15 min to a half hour. haha. thursday, my birthday i am going to spend the day in the village wandering around, hitting up a few places for drinks, browsing the strand, the best book store ever, and then head back to long beach for some live music. it should be a smashing day. my enteries really need some work. it doesn't feel like i am putting my best foot forward. well i am going to read and go to bed. early day tomorrow. i need to get out of here for a while.

False alarm from haikuster last week thursday. Really got me looking forward to the weekend. I was wondering if the santa ana winds had loosened their grip on the one with gypsy dreams. turning 29 in a week or so. cinco di maio. spelling could be off. its always a fun day, celebrating my birthday with a whole bar full of people. the festivities start in long beach around 2 in the afternoon. I wouldnt mind just spending a day wandering around the city by myself and then in the late afternoon, evening, cranking it up a bit. reading a moveable feast and really enjoying it. watched the first mass given by benedict the 16th sunday morning. pulled an all nighter. hahaha. it was actually quite impressive. the tradition, the throngs of people gathered to see the leader of their church perform his first mass. and then after reading he prayed to god that he should not be picked. i wouldnt say that this whole pope go round has made me more religious but it could have. it has sparked an interest in the bible really. i was given a book of poems by this guy who actually did a reading at temple beth zion. my aunt bought me the book, and it is called practical gods. the name of the poet escapes me at th moment. but it is a great book. the guy wanted to write poetry using myths, biblical references, and gods and goddesses of ancient times. Its a wonderful idea. something i would love to do. a lot of dylans music has biblical references in it. anyways. it the whole drama of the pope has made me want to look at how people can be better, or something of the sort. im done for now. looking for a new job

Ah yes lovely lovely spring has finally arrived! it makes winter worth the dreary last months of the ordeal. the first few months of the cold season are tolerable, actually a welcome transition from the heat of summer through the crisp breezes of fall. Spring here on Long Island seems to just show up one day and decide to stay. its like a friend who you have not seen in what seems like years just shows up at your door and stays for a while, no restrictions set by schedule or any other annoyance. And it stays until the springtime sun wakes up one morning and come noon, well you have the intense sun of summer. this season wakes the toes and fingers of the soul, shaking free the frost that settles in late januaru and februaury and solidifies into a deep ennui, a complete hopeless feeling with the relentlessness of the slush on sidewalks, and winds with cerrated teeth. The bodies senses wake up and a certain wanderlust takes over. You can smell it in the air, see it in the eyes, feel it in a touch. woke up yesterday and watched motorcycle diaries. Great movie. really enjoyed it. then got a text haiku from Haikuster and had the urge to drive out cross the big land to the other coast. tap my toes on the carpet of gold that rolls out into the pacific. it was a sad day when the pope died. not being catholic i still think the pope was a good man, though there are a lot of things that he stood for that i don't agree with. I believe he was good because he had hope for the human race, and for the goodness he feels is inate in us. I have been reading a book called the Faber Book of America, and i recomend it to all who may peruse this page. It is not a blow hard, chest beating self affirmantion of our capitalistic superiority, or morass (which ever way you may look at it. i feel you can look at it as the same, our superiority in material goods makes us the man who built his house on sand) the book is filled with eassays by the famous and those not so famous. Foreigners and our own citizens. It is seperated into "chapters" that are a very interesting way of dividing our national personality. Hopefully soon i will have the internet back in my apt, and i will be writing a lot again. i don't quite feel myself when i am not writing, as Haikuster knows, i have even been slacking in my responsibility in my haiku sending sorry!!!! i feel as if i have changed, that i have lost something, a friend when i am not writing. well anyways enough of that blabber. i will talk to you all again soon