told my boss the other day to fuck off. yep, it was great, well not really considering now i am scrambling for a job. it did feel good, but the initial rush wore off at happy hour. it was a job that was going now where to begin with, but i was trying to get interviews so i was not left flat. the only interviews i managed to get were lousy marketing schemes. not jobs, but schemes. pyramid type mothership shit. yeah i really don't think that stuff should be put in the classifieds. its really a bummer to job searchers all over. you send out your resume, accompanied most times with a gut wrenching cover letter, and you get to the interview and the guy does not even have the damn resume on the table, just wants to talk about the GREAT opportunity before me where i can make thousands of dollars, if and only if i bring on 10 other "sales reps" He presents his "success story" smelling of drakkar, brute, or polo and cigarettes. Always has a big raspy your friend in a bar voice, and warm sweaty hands. Handing you a business card for Smith Inc. International TelecomEnterprises.

the only thing to fear?
someone once said was itself.
believe in what you, yourself
know as truth in the seed of your
soul

do not deny the flesh,
it is flush with the emotions of
the heart
breathing in the passion of the sun
high in summer's skies
licking cool dew of nite times
lovers.

confidence in future miracles
only if roots take hold in these dunes
the ocean and the winds conspire against me

May day has come and gone. I always liked the first day of this month. it means only 4 more days until my birthday. good ole cinco de maio or is the de a di? 05/05/05. not too often that happens. pretty cool huh. well i feel as if i am selling my self out. I have an interview on tuesday, and well i already have a gut feeling that it is not going to be a job that i would want to be doing. I have been applying for sales positions. something i detest. Now i am not saying that it is a horrible job for everyone. some people are really really good at it. it is something that i am not good at. but i have come to the end of my rope working for this tyrannt of a man who is my boss. ah but summer is on the way, said it would be here in 15 min to a half hour. haha. thursday, my birthday i am going to spend the day in the village wandering around, hitting up a few places for drinks, browsing the strand, the best book store ever, and then head back to long beach for some live music. it should be a smashing day. my enteries really need some work. it doesn't feel like i am putting my best foot forward. well i am going to read and go to bed. early day tomorrow. i need to get out of here for a while.

False alarm from haikuster last week thursday. Really got me looking forward to the weekend. I was wondering if the santa ana winds had loosened their grip on the one with gypsy dreams. turning 29 in a week or so. cinco di maio. spelling could be off. its always a fun day, celebrating my birthday with a whole bar full of people. the festivities start in long beach around 2 in the afternoon. I wouldnt mind just spending a day wandering around the city by myself and then in the late afternoon, evening, cranking it up a bit. reading a moveable feast and really enjoying it. watched the first mass given by benedict the 16th sunday morning. pulled an all nighter. hahaha. it was actually quite impressive. the tradition, the throngs of people gathered to see the leader of their church perform his first mass. and then after reading he prayed to god that he should not be picked. i wouldnt say that this whole pope go round has made me more religious but it could have. it has sparked an interest in the bible really. i was given a book of poems by this guy who actually did a reading at temple beth zion. my aunt bought me the book, and it is called practical gods. the name of the poet escapes me at th moment. but it is a great book. the guy wanted to write poetry using myths, biblical references, and gods and goddesses of ancient times. Its a wonderful idea. something i would love to do. a lot of dylans music has biblical references in it. anyways. it the whole drama of the pope has made me want to look at how people can be better, or something of the sort. im done for now. looking for a new job