"ghost stories from the fridge" written by Zobar on estrip.org

10/19/06 05:48 - 53ºF - ID#37386

ghost stories from the fridge

OK, the last time I cleaned out the fridge it was because I was moving out of my Westchester apartment in 2004, so when I finally did it again last night, after our four day power outage ... I was expecting some pretty manky shit. This is the winner.

There was a Ricotta tub in the bottom of the fridge that I didn't recognize. We often reuse containers, so it was likely to be leftovers. I opened it up, and it was kind of moldy and lumpy and stunk to high heavens. I didn't take a really close look at it, but it looked an awful lot like it used to have been Minestrone soup.

Minestrone Soup.

I can't remember the last time we had Minestrone soup. Spring? Fall?

But when I dumped it out in the toilet ...

it was Ricotta cheese.

- Z

Permalink: ghost_stories_from_the_fridge.html
Words: 142
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: weather

10/16/06 02:05 - 56ºF - ID#37385

attn photojournalists

1. (e:dragonlady7) and I are ok. Our power was out from 9pm Thursday until probably about some time this morning. We hung out with my mom on Friday and left for the Capital District Saturday after the driving ban was lifted and the Thruway reopened. We got back early this afternoon. I went directly to work; I have been informed that our power is on again at home, yays.

2. The staff photographer is putting together a photo-essay on the storm. If anyone has any good storm or aftermath photos, send them to me and I'll pass them along.

- Z

Permalink: attn_photojournalists.html
Words: 100
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: food

10/09/06 08:04 - 63ºF - ID#37384

my coffee is...

...what can only be described as 'mauve,' which is not the color of food. Anderson's SPoTted Cow Float - coffee, frozen custard, whipped cream, chocolate syrup - with the black raspberry flavor of the day. Mmm, tasty and disconcerting. I imagine it would be less good when Banana custard is the special.

OK, I'm going to go into milkfat shock now. Have a nice ev--

Permalink: my_coffee_is_.html
Words: 66
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: gadgets

10/05/06 10:33 - 49ºF - ID#37383

synchronicity

I had just finished telling someone how much I hate when people don't put on their left turn signal until they're already in the intersection and they have to stop and wait for traffic. Why would you do that? Why even bother? I know that you're trying to turn, because you are stopped in the middle of the intersection and I am right behind you. I would not be right behind you if you had used your turn signal properly. It is much worse when the left-hand turn they are making is illegal [Delaware Ave Southbound during rush hour, most intersections].

Just then, I got a text message:

10/04/06 07:58 pm
From: 36245
guest@estrip.org
()thats so stupid

So I said ()amen brother amen even my phone agrees

- Z

Permalink: synchronicity.html
Words: 132
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: fightin' the power

10/04/06 01:35 - 65ºF - ID#37382

i am a genius

I admit it. It's true. It's tough to be humble when you're this God-damned brilliant.

Next time you get a parking ticket -

chill out. It's not a stupid waste of your time and money - it's a $32 permit to park anywhere you want within the city limits. Pay the ticket online. There will be a $2 surcharge, but think of it as an investment. When you pay online, you get to keep the ticket and the obnoxious orange envelope, which you can then stick under your own windshield the next time you park illegally, thus saving Buffalo's Finest the trouble.

You're welcome. And, as with any free legal advice, don't try this at home.

- Z

Permalink: i_am_a_genius.html
Words: 116
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: tv

09/30/06 10:07 - 49ºF - ID#37381

channel 420?

I had an idea that ended up morphing into what can only be described as The Stoner Channel. It is a high-concept TV channel that is not for stoners per se, but rather for anyone who has totally given up any pretense of looking for entertainment and instead would be satisfied with only stimulation.

I got an AIM from (e:dragonlady7) one day while I was at work; she had taken some heinous cold medicine and it was getting on top of her. I directed her to a couple episodes of Krentz and the Hand of Shame

and another one called Ptikobj

. Her response was something like, "That shit is freeky."

When I was at college, I was awakened very early one Saturday morning when I heard my roommates laughing their asses off downstairs. I came downstairs, still half asleep, and, well- this was the first time I had actually seen an episode of Teletubbies. Technically we were all stone cold sober, but at 7am that shit is way freeky.

Also on the list:

The Turkish Star Wars (e:zobar,108)
Pink Panther cartoons
Fantasia
Hatten Är Din

Teen Girl Squad

It would end up being heavy on cartoons, so it would really cater to anyone whose attention span is shot [cf: children]. With a complete story arc [if you could call it that] expressed in under five minutes, and a new disconnected thought every 45 seconds, it's just not about thinking. Except when we take a whole afternoon to bring you: curling tournaments!

We would strive to keep overt drug references to a minimum. Cheech & Chong is out. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is in, but only because it is an extremely well-made movie from an extremely well-made book, and also, that shit is freeky.

OK, I gotta get back to work. My project is going pretty well, so mos def we'll be at the housewarming party.

- Z

Permalink: channel_420_.html
Words: 363
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: work

09/28/06 10:53 - 49ºF - ID#37380

the gulag archipelago

I have not posted in a while, because I have sequestered myself in the attic until I finish writing a new backend for our calendar database. This may strike you as a weird thing to do, but the attic is comfortable this time of year, quiet, and relatively clean. I have weird mannerisms when I am deep in thought, and when I am in the attic nobody says anything when I pace around the room, pulling my hair and chewing my beard. I have put in fifty hours this week [well, starting Friday after work] and I am thrilled to be able to concentrate so completely. I am making excellent progress. I have assured both Management and (e:dragonlady7) that the overtime will become a vacation in the not too distant future.

I have also promised Management that I will return Monday with my shield or upon it; this does not bode well for my attendance at the housewarming party. The question is not whether I will be there -- I will -- but when.

- Z

Permalink: the_gulag_archipelago.html
Words: 177
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

09/21/06 11:44 - 51ºF - ID#37379

the gospel of judas

is founded on an interesting idea: without Judas, there'd be no betrayal, no passion and death, and no resurrection, and without that - there's not a whole lot of Christianity either. (WIKIPEDIA - Gospel of Judas) Don't think about it too much, it'll blow your mind.

The point being, I've become a bit of a closeted Bob Dylan fan lately, so I went out and bought the 'official' Royal Albert Hall concert recording (WIKIPEDIA - The Bootleg Series Vol. 4: Bob Dylan Live 1966, The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert). A watershed moment in rock music, &c., &c., of course, and I never realized that Bob Dylan could rock this hard. But if my man over here had not shouted "Judas!" at precisely the moment he did - symbolizing whatever it was he was symbolizing - and had he not been caught on tape - would anybody care about Bob Dylan's 1966 world tour?

Eh, don't worry about it. This is the most genuinely spiteful and venomous recording I have ever heard and I cannot stop listening to it.

Speaking of spite and venom, I have been feeling curmudgeonly lately. Why, just this evening I saw some lacrosse mom park her exceedingly large passenger vehicle in front of a fire hydrant on my street. Well technically she was endangering the lives of residents and a grandstand full of kids, but sometimes you gotta rephrase things in terms people actually care about. So I left a polite little note:

Deep thought of the day:
If I fire-bombed your car,
they would have to tow it
before they put it out.
Have a nice day.

OK, so I don't know what is involved in fire-bombing a car, but the point is that the school year is young and I want to discourage bad behavior in the pups before it becomes habitual. Also, I was amused by the imagery of a flaming car getting towed down the street so that they can get to the fire hydrant to put it out. I am an asshole, but I swear I use my powers for good and not for evil.

- Z

_______________
New journal music: Bob Dylan, "Like a Rolling Stone," from the "Royal Albert Hall" concert. Play it fucking loud.

Permalink: the_gospel_of_judas.html
Words: 372
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: work

09/19/06 11:11 - 64ºF - ID#37378

avast ye scurvy scum

Ohhh, so this

is what I'm doing wrong. Good news for some, but less so for me: it looks like I'm stuck here for the forseeable future. I'll put off my existential crisis until at least this evening. [Like, how am I even a web developer? Clerical error...] I wonder how many Mac engineering jobs there are in Buffalo that don't involve working for (e:carolinian) 's manic boss.

Also, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day.

- Z

Permalink: avast_ye_scurvy_scum.html
Words: 82
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: work

09/12/06 11:34 - 58ºF - ID#37377

more hiring madness

Hiring me has got to be a bizarre experience, but at least I'm having fun with it. Today I put my references on notice:

Some time in the next few days, you may be asked what kind of Worker I am. If you find yourself at a loss for words, you may use any of the following: 'peerless,' 'superlative,' 'exemplary.' True though it may be, 'one of the greatest minds of the modern era' may be mistakenly construed as hyperbole.

...to which the VP of Sales at my last job replied:

You capitalized the word "worker". I fear you've become a Marxist. I shall make this known to potential employers.

I will endeavor to avoid using words such as mongoloid, dotard and ninny.

What a great guy.

- Z

Permalink: more_hiring_madness.html
Words: 134
Location: Buffalo, NY