11/28/11 04:57- ID#55616
Hallo. Hej. Hello Dere
I did go to Ohio and had a blast with the girl I met at the wedding. It was awe-some. A lot of fun. However......it was a flash in the pan. Our personalities don't mesh very well. I'd rather not elaborate. We remain friends, which is fine with me. It isn't as if I'm a guy without options.
When I was there, I got on her scale and it said 153.5 which I haven't weighed since I was a sophomore in HS. I felt my legs and they were fuggin skinny. I'm not skin and bone or anything. I'm not a workout hound so it isn't like I'm all muscle. I'm just skinny.....so......the day before Thanksgiving I gorged myself on 15 hot wings and it was GREAT.
I wonder why I lost all that weight? I was like 10 pounds heavier, at least, when I went to the doc's in August.
I ran into Heidi and Terry the same day I went to see Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. They mentioned a NYE party and I hope it happens because I will stop by, have a glass of something sparkly and hang out for a little bit.
Anyone else notice at this point in our lives that some people plan these parties just to avoid having to leave their fucking houses to go somewhere else? I'm getting asked about various NYE parties already. Not to belabor the point, but so many of my married (or practically married) friends don't leave the house.
I hardly get any visitors. I'm alone all the time which freaks me out, so I put on my jacket and my hat and go to Blue Monk, Vera or Hardware. To do something productive. Like down 3 very well crafted cocktails, or 3 very well made beers. I have no idea how many expensive nights out I've had this year. I'm afraid to ask myself. You'd choke if you knew how much I've spent. Me too probably, so I'm going to stop and try to live like a normal person does.
Last Modified: 11/28/11 04:57
11/02/11 04:10- ID#55428
Job is going great. Can't complain. My San Francisco trip was amazing - I could definitely see myself out there someday. That city is definitely my speed. I'm tired of my iPhone 3GS but don't see the value in upgrading until the next iPhone is released (or until iOS5 performance drives me over the edge). I also like the Galaxy S2 like (e:Paul) has. I go out all the time, a few times a week usually at least. I'd like to try Epic restaurant sometime. Been pretty restless, but it is time to buckle down and find something to keep my mind occupied during the winter months.
On the romance front, the sociopath has left me alone for over a month which is really great. I guess you could say I've been free to let my feelings evolve from confusion to hatred. Yeah, I hate her and her piggish, ignorant, shit talking friend more than I've ever hated anyone. I know I have to let go of those feelings too.
I met a new girl at a wedding recently and we hit it off pretty well. Another long distance one. Going to visit her this weekend. I don't really know if I have it in me to give that much of myself, or even if I believe in monogamous love anymore. But she is an interesting person. Smart (Vet doctor), beautiful, funny, salty, a bit of a party girl. She seems to like my personality a lot. So, I'm going to go and be open minded, have fun, and see how I feel.
I don't spend a lot of time with my guy friends. They're either busy all the time with family obligations (which I understand) or never want to leave home (which I do not understand). I never get any visitors. Been hanging out with mostly female friends and hitting the town. They are mama bears. Great friends. Sisterly. There is something about getting a text that says "Hey! Are you eating??" that makes me love them every bit as intensely as I hate the other people I mentioned. Yeah, I would lie in court for them. I would take a beating for them. They're awesome.
So, I guess that's it. I keep track of things around here still. I read journal entries still. Hope everyone's doing alright and that everyone is happy.
Last Modified: 11/02/11 04:10
08/02/11 11:00- ID#54848
Stay gold, Ponyboy...Stay gold.
One of these characters was a salesman who had long hair, a BMW convertible, and a carefree, "I don't give a shit" demeanor about him which I greatly admired. He was an author and a traveler. A worldly, flawed, independent person. I was a naive, wide-eyed kid who got to hang out with the older guys.
This man wrote a literary non-fiction novel, loosely based upon his career, and, of course I was a minor character in the book. He gave me a signed copy of the book and wrote inside of it "Stay gold, Ponyboy" which confused me. Was he breaking my balls? Complimenting me? I appreciated the gift but not knowing what he meant, put it at the back of my mind and sort of forgot about it until tonight.
For some reason or another this quote came up in conversation tonight while hanging out with some friends. I learned it was from a book, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. The discussion rejuvenated these decade old memories of my early adulthood so I went home to learn about the book and in particular the blurb my friend wrote to me.
I learned something interesting....he was telling me to stay how I was, to stay innocent. Here I was, at 22, wishing I was more like he was in some ways, and he wanted for me to not change my nature. There was something good in it.
It is fascinating how the universe gives you what you need at the right time again and again. Here I was today, at the peak of my depression and bitterness over what happened with Josh and my ex-girlfriend, wondering whether those things were going to overcome my happy go lucky outlook on life. Yet the message was repeated to me at a time when I was ready to understand it. Stay how you are, Jason. You're fine as-is. Things come full circle. Amazing.
Last Modified: 08/02/11 11:00
10/21/10 09:02- ID#52989
Time For A Trim
Last Modified: 10/21/10 09:02
09/13/10 03:07- ID#52729
Went to the Salon
I feel like you go there to be judged. The vibe was really uncomfortable. In general, I think the fashion/style universe reflects the absolute worst in us, and doesn't have a ton of value to me, which probably colored my perception of being in the salon. I didn't like it and couldn't wait to leave.
Who knew that going to the salon was worse than going to the dentist's office? This was the first professional cut I got since 1998. My trim was fine, okay, no complaints there. I think it is true that a good cut makes you feel good, a little self esteem booster. Still, maybe a salon isn't the place for me, given my negative take on it.
Maybe I should stay home and continue to buzz my own hair off. It isn't a style, but I don't have to go to the salon. I can save the money for what amounts to a glass or two of wine + an appetizer when going out. Or maybe I just prefer a male stylist, or maybe I just have proximity issues with strangers. No matter what, I don't see myself going back to a salon any time soon.
Last Modified: 09/13/10 03:07
09/08/10 07:15- ID#52682
You Haven't Lived Until...
Man, if THAT is what it takes to "live" then I don't think you're taking advantage of life. I think you haven't lived until you've had sex in a public park. Maybe my standards are different than everyone else's.
Actually, I don't know if you're living at all if you're stuck in a concrete jungle, barely scraping by every month, living vicariously through rich people, slaves to trends and decisions you had nothing to do with.
Yeah, sounds wonderful. Actually, I enjoy living vicariously through people who maintain some kind of connection with nature. I love the photos posted by Paul and others from various spots in the wild.
If I were so inclined I would post a brief video, at a table on Canandaigua Lake, slight breeze, boats going by, a brief glimpse of my girlfriend. I think I'm living. Are you?
Last Modified: 09/08/10 07:15
09/04/10 01:31- ID#52651
Throwing Puppies In A River???
What should the punishment be? How about pulling her cruel ass out to sea and tossing her into the ocean? I love puppies more than I love humans who discard them like fucking banana peels. Screw that.
Love you all
Last Modified: 09/04/10 01:31
08/03/10 04:38- ID#52358
Fight Capitalism - Don't Marry
The girlfriend was also in town, not for the stag or anything, as she told me she didn't know how to dance, heh, but we did get a little bit of time together. Things are getting more serious, and we're talking about the future. What will happen next year? The year after? Having witnessed my friend JV go through this process, I told her if one day I get married I refuse to have a big ceremony, refuse to have a shower (another shameless marriage benefit), and refuse to throw a party at some reception hall. I
The whole process resembles some jejune conformist nightmare. Seriously, outside the awesome wedding of (e:Ladycroft) and (e:Rory) aren't they all the same? Why does everyone have to go through the same BS process? Since when was going deeply into debt, for the satisfaction of knowing you have a bigger diamond, more lavish party, better cake, a requirement to be a married couple? I've thought of registering my protest by wearing the same shirt and tie every time. Same haircut.
Anyway, my girlfriend said something very interesting to me. It should have been obvious to me, but when you think about all of the photographers (love me some (e:dcoffee), you don't count, man), reception halls, caterers, mens and womens clothing, invitations....there is actually an industry dedicated to the perpetuation of this awful paradigm. I wonder what is more true. Does the industry thrive because people WANT to go through the pain in the ass? Does the industry thrive on appealing to us emotionally, making us feel like our relationship has less value if we don't do it the "right" way? Or is it peer pressure?
She also said she doesn't want to have another (cough) big to-do. This was such a huge relief for me. It's going to sound bad, okay, I'm not going to pretend it sounds lovely but the good thing about dating someone who's already had her day in the sun is that I'm off the hook, no dealing with the aforementioned pain in the ass. The only thing I would want is one good dinner with my boys, maybe some golf and cards. Whether it is this situation or another, I want to just go away somewhere, minimal number of people, middle of nowhere. Maybe on a beach. I'm sorry for saying it but I feel more connected spiritually in nature instead of in a hot church building. Don't you?
It sounds awfully close to me saying I'm ready for the next step but it is still way too early to do anything other than poke around the issue. Can't believe I'm talking about this. Anyway, I'm very thankful for what I have in my life. Very thankful. I have been so blessed this year. I think I've met my match. She cares about the little things that make life interesting and fun, which I had lost sight of for years. Life is great, people! You have to unplug, detach yourself from the day to day so-called "existence". You make yourself happy by happily investing in other people and other experiences. You feel fulfilled by participating in someone else's fulfillment - and really giving it your best. Even if this falls apart tomorrow I will still be blessed because of everything I've learned.
Last Modified: 08/03/10 04:38
07/12/10 03:06- ID#52156
Last Modified: 07/12/10 03:06
06/14/10 08:28- ID#51883
Got Another Parking Ticket
It's always annoyed me that we have to pay a "convenience fee" for paying a parking ticket online. Bush league man, Bush league.
Last Modified: 06/14/10 08:28
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