when did this happen?? i took the train today and there were these pylons? posts?
my only thought is that they block people from hopping though train links. i didn't know that was a thing.
Robert's Journal
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03/21/2013 14:39 #57407
Hm?Category: nfta
03/21/2013 14:04 #57406
when's dayCategory: daily life and thoughts
Hello spring! you are here and thoroughly manic-depressive. you start out all pretty and then you go to shit.
Wednesday was gorgeous for most of the day... I slept in a bit. I tried to do laundry at my dad's but my key wouldn't work? So I went to my mom's around the corner instead and we watched terrible lifetime movies together while i waited for things to be done.
I forget how comforting it is to be a lazy couch potato with my mom... that used to be one of my favorite things to do. just laying around the house watching movies or listening to music, talking, or in silence with my mom. She's one of the few people in my life that isn't uncomfortable with silence. I really like being in silence with people.
To me it was never a lacking. silence is not absence. it's presence. it's fullness. It's bonding. and feeling, too, i guess. It's not that i have nothing to say, it's that sometimes nothing is as valuable to me as those quiet moments. With anyone. I like silence as much as i like throbbing music so loud your heart vibrates. (a lot)
I've been thinking of not taking my headphones with me all the time. I didn't wear them on wednesday for part of the day it was nice to actually hear the sounds of buffalo for once.
work was okay. The party i worked didn't show up in its entirety. 10 of 16 showed up, so it was pointless to have 2 people work it... but I got to work with Tracey, who i love to work with. because she actually does work.
i also finally got my kombucha back from my dad's house and bottled it last night.... it's quite vinegar flavored this week but it also has a bit of fruit... i guess it's similar to apple cider vinegar? but no as bad. I had (e:paul) and (e:terry) try it.... not a hit. haha! Next batch will be suitably dericious.
Wednesday was gorgeous for most of the day... I slept in a bit. I tried to do laundry at my dad's but my key wouldn't work? So I went to my mom's around the corner instead and we watched terrible lifetime movies together while i waited for things to be done.
I forget how comforting it is to be a lazy couch potato with my mom... that used to be one of my favorite things to do. just laying around the house watching movies or listening to music, talking, or in silence with my mom. She's one of the few people in my life that isn't uncomfortable with silence. I really like being in silence with people.
To me it was never a lacking. silence is not absence. it's presence. it's fullness. It's bonding. and feeling, too, i guess. It's not that i have nothing to say, it's that sometimes nothing is as valuable to me as those quiet moments. With anyone. I like silence as much as i like throbbing music so loud your heart vibrates. (a lot)
I've been thinking of not taking my headphones with me all the time. I didn't wear them on wednesday for part of the day it was nice to actually hear the sounds of buffalo for once.
work was okay. The party i worked didn't show up in its entirety. 10 of 16 showed up, so it was pointless to have 2 people work it... but I got to work with Tracey, who i love to work with. because she actually does work.
i also finally got my kombucha back from my dad's house and bottled it last night.... it's quite vinegar flavored this week but it also has a bit of fruit... i guess it's similar to apple cider vinegar? but no as bad. I had (e:paul) and (e:terry) try it.... not a hit. haha! Next batch will be suitably dericious.
03/19/2013 23:24 #57399
Twos DayCategory: language
Tuesday has been, for all 4 semesters back at ecc, Spanish day. it was once very exhausting but recently it doesn't leave me so brain dead anymore. i feel like I've progressed so much. i can follow everyone in the conversation group without much problem and I'm able to participate with relative ease. i don't think I'll ever gain full confidence until i study abroad though... the implications of going away for an extended amount of time make me a bit nervous for various reasons ...
class went well... no one showed up, so i was able to participate a little better. i get nervous in front of native Spanish speakers, so i kind of clam up. i really liked the poem we read, La Higuera
i really like the 6th and final stanzas... group went well. it was my turn to read from La Casa de los Espiritus
and i feel like a had the shortest but most difficult paragraphs to read. so much underlining happened. interesting conversation and strange acquaintances popped out of the woodwork. it was mostly a good day. :)
pic dump!
03/19/2013 03:52 #57395
mondayCategory: daily life etc
monday was alright. It started off awesome, actually :)
after my first class, i went to the crane library and got some pretty good studying done before my test in social problems. I think I did reasonably well? I still haven't gotten the grade from my first test back? wtf.
i came home, cooked, then went to Jens' place to drop of the traveling thoughts sketchbook (https://ramblingsofanartist.wordpress.com/category/traveling-thoughts/). I can't believe i had it as long as i did! 3 months instead of 3 days. >_< he's going to draw in it, then send it off.... he works at fedex, so he gets a discount. We had a few beers and some good conversation, then i headed home.
I've kinda just been curled up in bed since... it's interesting how things can change so drastically from day to day. I guess it's all about perspective, huh?
My sister April has been so chatty lately. she went from never really being home or doing things with me to following me from room to room with unending chatter. it's so weird. last week when i clearly finished the conversation and indicated that was going to hole up in my room and study/internet, she continued talking to me in my door way - i had shit to do! i couldn't get a thing done. i don't necessarily hate it, it's just odd how much she's intereacting with me now. Before, i'd try to cook dinner or we'd make plans to have movie night together and she'd just be "too tired" or "not hungry" or just not come home that night. but now she complains that i'm gone so much... hmm.
tomorrow is a long day. i need to be in bed 3 hours ago.
after my first class, i went to the crane library and got some pretty good studying done before my test in social problems. I think I did reasonably well? I still haven't gotten the grade from my first test back? wtf.
i came home, cooked, then went to Jens' place to drop of the traveling thoughts sketchbook (https://ramblingsofanartist.wordpress.com/category/traveling-thoughts/). I can't believe i had it as long as i did! 3 months instead of 3 days. >_< he's going to draw in it, then send it off.... he works at fedex, so he gets a discount. We had a few beers and some good conversation, then i headed home.
I've kinda just been curled up in bed since... it's interesting how things can change so drastically from day to day. I guess it's all about perspective, huh?
My sister April has been so chatty lately. she went from never really being home or doing things with me to following me from room to room with unending chatter. it's so weird. last week when i clearly finished the conversation and indicated that was going to hole up in my room and study/internet, she continued talking to me in my door way - i had shit to do! i couldn't get a thing done. i don't necessarily hate it, it's just odd how much she's intereacting with me now. Before, i'd try to cook dinner or we'd make plans to have movie night together and she'd just be "too tired" or "not hungry" or just not come home that night. but now she complains that i'm gone so much... hmm.
tomorrow is a long day. i need to be in bed 3 hours ago.
03/19/2013 03:25 #57394
Día de San PatricioCategory: holidays
st. paddy's day was tons of fun.... i got out of work earlier this year because i closed last year. \:D/
the night previous we went to the shamrock shakedown. not all of the music was that great, but some of the rooms had awesome music. the bottom and top floors were the best... Rita, (e:heidi), (e:dianne), (e:xandra), (e:yesthatcasey), (e:paul), and (e:terry) all piled into two vehicles and made our way to dnipro... i got some prime dancing in! The drum'n'bass upstairs was def my favorite. the middle floor was just so.... blah.
the parade day was pretty busy. i'ts been years since i was actually able to be in it... i think it has been 9-7 years. maybe 6. i've always had to work! on top of that, this is one of my better experiences with the day.... most of the time it's been dealing with obnoxious drunkards coming into the places i worked...
work that day was fairly more easy that i really thought it was going to be. I was in a side room with several families who were friends and wanted to be together in a separate room from everyone else. honestly, it seemed like a sweet deal to not have to be stuck in the giant dining rooms like everyone else. they got to actually hear each other talk unless they were out getting food from the buffet. They were all easy to deal with, and i had no problem tracking who got what. I was working with someone who's pretty good, also... so that was a plus.
after the parade was pretty interesting and fun... everyone else was far more intoxicated than i, but i managed to stay at an even level once i achieved a comfortable level. I was not interested in becoming ill or getting completely ridiculous... success! We got up on the roof, and i spotted a gaggle of girls who were doing jello shots in front of the house... eventually we went outside and invited them in to engage in the consumption of spirited libations with us. :) that was neat.... and then they left. their jello shots were tasty.
after a while i got so tired, i kind of just wandered from room to room until i settled on the firm conclusion that i ought to sleep. i fell asleep in (e:xandra)'s bed for a moment until i came downstairs and fell asleep on the couch... then i woke up and went to bed in the real bed.
the night previous we went to the shamrock shakedown. not all of the music was that great, but some of the rooms had awesome music. the bottom and top floors were the best... Rita, (e:heidi), (e:dianne), (e:xandra), (e:yesthatcasey), (e:paul), and (e:terry) all piled into two vehicles and made our way to dnipro... i got some prime dancing in! The drum'n'bass upstairs was def my favorite. the middle floor was just so.... blah.
the parade day was pretty busy. i'ts been years since i was actually able to be in it... i think it has been 9-7 years. maybe 6. i've always had to work! on top of that, this is one of my better experiences with the day.... most of the time it's been dealing with obnoxious drunkards coming into the places i worked...
work that day was fairly more easy that i really thought it was going to be. I was in a side room with several families who were friends and wanted to be together in a separate room from everyone else. honestly, it seemed like a sweet deal to not have to be stuck in the giant dining rooms like everyone else. they got to actually hear each other talk unless they were out getting food from the buffet. They were all easy to deal with, and i had no problem tracking who got what. I was working with someone who's pretty good, also... so that was a plus.
after the parade was pretty interesting and fun... everyone else was far more intoxicated than i, but i managed to stay at an even level once i achieved a comfortable level. I was not interested in becoming ill or getting completely ridiculous... success! We got up on the roof, and i spotted a gaggle of girls who were doing jello shots in front of the house... eventually we went outside and invited them in to engage in the consumption of spirited libations with us. :) that was neat.... and then they left. their jello shots were tasty.
after a while i got so tired, i kind of just wandered from room to room until i settled on the firm conclusion that i ought to sleep. i fell asleep in (e:xandra)'s bed for a moment until i came downstairs and fell asleep on the couch... then i woke up and went to bed in the real bed.
Sorry just got back now to read your response.. Thanks for sharing that though.....
well, yeah, she was going through a lot with her s/o and his crazy ex and police etc and it sent her into a bit of a depression, but it had been going on for a while, and at a point it was better for me to just leave her to herself because the stress of her constant fighting and yelling at person xyz was driving me over the edge. she's always yelling at someone, and i'm just not that kind of person. I don't fight, i don't yell, i don't attack on the offense.... i've only ever done those things out of self-defense. i can't handle that type of energy. In the past i should have spoken up about it, and in the present, i'm not sure what i can do about it but wait it out. she get's emotional and has difficulty coping with stress and starts a fight. it's to the point where when i get home she'll say she yelled at someone or got into a fight with someone and i don't even register or ask her with who it was... i literally do not care any more. My only grace is that she doesn't fight with me.
i realize this is all smacks conflict-avoidance by me, but i'm just not sure how much progress i can make. It's no use to bring up long standing issues i've had because you can't fix the past. I realize that her life is very stressful too, but a lot of it seems to be self-created problems from my pov. and on top of that, i tend to let go of nearly everything given enough time. I'll get over it. I'm not too much of a grudge holder but with rare, rare exceptions.
I don't know the details .... It sounds like she had some kind of issue in the past and now she is over it or got past (on the right meds) .... Or just less busy ? Sometimes when one is really busy.. I use to work 2 jobs and I was so tired that you come home haven't eaten really but the tired out does the hungry so you don't eat... Enjoy the time with your family when you have it......