Dear Joshua,

Some time has passed and my heart is healing. It was very hard to say good-bye to you, especially being so far away. The day of your funeral there was a man playing the bagpipe outside the station. It was a fitting song.

That night we went to dinner and toasted you. I tried to say it myself but I got too choked up and Rory had to finish it off. Even writing about it now brings tears to my eyes.

We were in the middle of a great conversation you and I, which will have to wait some time to be finished. When I gave you that book and your 'license', I don't think either of us envisioned this road trip.

I came across this poem and I couldn't help but think of you. It's a shortened version.


Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

(An excerpt of 'What Will Matter' by Michael Josephson)

Jason, we think about you often and hope your heart is healing!

The image just seems questionable to me.

If anyone really knows me, they know how important you were to me. You cuddled me whenever I cried, you protected me from strangers and you were the best hot bottle warmer on cold winter nights. We drove cross country together, 3 times! We played in the ocean, walked on mountains, ran through the woods, and had our very own special Scooby Snacks game. You never let me down, not once in our precious years together. I miss you deeply my little Bambito.

On the eve of each New Year we often reflect on our lives. As we say good-bye to 2010 and hello to 2011, I wish you joy that never ends and happiness with all your family and friends.

Where were you when 2010 began?
In my bed with a massive migraine. Rory and I toasted with orange juice.

Who were you with?
Rory

Where will you be when 2010 ends?
At The Pipeline, the bar next door.

Whom will you be with when 2010 ends?
My husband, a work colleague, and lots of strangers.

Was 2010 a good year for you?
It was. Beyond the stress and heartache, I learned so much about myself, my morals and just how supportive my husband is. I couldn’t ask for more.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Sitting in business class with a glass of champagne at 7 in the morning, about to depart Doha for the last time. I shed one tear, my heart was lightened and I felt so free.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Dropping off Blinky for her flight to prison (quarantine). It was heartbreaking.

Did you keep your New Year resolutions of 2010?
I don't do resolutions. This year was a bit of a curveball in trying to accomplish my original ‘plans for 2010’ list though.

• Master the art of packing light

- definitely did it, we are pros through and through.

• Travel to New Zealand, Oman, Abu Dhabi, India, Egypt, Jordan, Australia, and Antarctica

- made it to Dubai, India and Jordan. Plans for the rest were drastically changed by the decision
to leave Qatar.

• Lose 40 pounds by our 1 year anniversary

-nope 

• Pay off my car in November

-even sooner than, and then sold it to lovely young woman just moving to Doha. Also bought a
car for the USA so we can stop wasting loads on rentals and my mom has something to get
around in.

• Pay off 1/3 of one of my student loans

-nope, again plans to leave Qatar interrupted this plan

• Knit tons of goodies to donate to charity

-I wouldn’t call it ‘tons’, but yes I did knit for charity

• Participate in more community service opportunities

-Some. Not as much as I had hoped, but if you live your life well it is in everything you do

• Be the best teammate (wifey) I can be

-I think so, and I get told so!

• Drop the dead weight in my life and look for more positive forces to surround myself with.

-Did it!

• Create a solid sustainability campaign in our residence halls

-Did it! Won a personal award for it as well as one for Qatar Foundation by the country.

Do you have any New Year resolutions for 2011?
Just plans.

Did you fall in love in 2010?
I do it every day.

What was your favorite month of 2010?
August; it was the start of our new life in London.

Did you travel outside of the US in 2010?
Qatar, Dubai, India, Jordan, Scotland, England.

How many different states did you travel to in 2010?
New York, Texas, Kansas.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2010?
Close, no.

What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2010?
Inception

What was your favorite song in 2010?
I think The Flood by Take That. It’s catchy.

What was your favorite album in 2010?
I’m going for a Christmas album this year with Annie Lennox’s Cornucopia. It’s a little wacky.

What was your most exciting moment of 2010?
Being able to let go of Doha then showing them exactly what I’m made of by landing a job in London that was a higher promotion than what they shafted me for. The looks on their faces were priceless.

What was your proudest moment of 2010?
Watching and supporting Rory and our friend Annie in getting their half SCUBA certification.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2010?
I’m having trouble of thinking of one.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change something, what would it be?
Hindsight being 20/20...I would have done just a tad more regional travel if I had known I’d be leaving Qatar a year early, as a matter of convenience.

What are your plans for 2010?
•    That ever illusive plan to lose weight- no more excuses. I’ve got a more concrete plan and a nice little gym on the top floor of my building to make sure it happens.
•    Travel to Netherlands, Sweden, Finland, Russian Federation, Denmark, Gibraltar, Brunei and Ireland. I’ve also got this thing about SCUBA diving shipwrecks in Bermuda.
•    Rewrite a more comprehensive Resident Handbook
•    Read more. More specifically, read at least 2 books per month.
•    Beat Dead Rising with all endings, all survivors, all quests and full levels. Zombies!
•    Buy an awesome bicycle with a basket and bell and take some lovely rides in London.
•    Get to know London better. Start utilizing my secret black book to mark bus routes and hidden treasures we come across in our excursions.
•    Grow more ‘duck feathers’ to let certain things roll off my back a little more quickly.
•    Be the best wifey I can be and never let a day go without telling Rory how much I love him.
•    Make my cat famous for her awesome fetch skillz and run a line of crazy T-shirts. OK, this one is a joke, but it would still be fun 

I love you Rory...

For all that you are,

All that you are not,

And all that you can be,

It has been a perfect year and I look forward to every minute with you in the year to come. You are amazing!