(e:joshua) :(

If it hasn't already been shared here somewhere, please pay a visit to the following link, which has Joshua's obituary with visitation and memorial service information.



The love, support and admiration for the Larson's is profoundly touching, and immensely deserving.

My own thoughts and feelings are a swirl of emotion, of which there is no articulation. I can't fathom the devastation of losing someone so incredibly close. (e:Jason), my heart broke with the news of your brothers passing.

I've remembered this line from the first time I read it. From the poem, Hallowed Ground by Thomas Campbell..

"To live in hearts we leave behind,
Is not to die."

Much love,
Carey

Halloween sort of just passed by this year. Awesome that it fell on a weekend as there were a lot of parties and such to choose from. So those that had the opportunity, I am sure there were good times to be had.
I started my weekend early which worked out well since i had some responsibilities over the actual weekend to attend to. I met up with a friend Thursday evening followed by having some company over on Friday night. Originally planned on attending the monthly Drinking Skeptically meet up, but too much was going on and I didn't make it out on time. Too bad since I was looking forward to it and several people had contacted me to see where I was at. I miss them all already, though i knew there would be a handful of regulars missing from the group as some of them headed down to The Rally to Restore Sanity. But there are always new people that are fun to meet and I am curious as to who made it out. Next time, for sure.

I got a bunch of hiking in on Thursday and Friday knowing that I would be cooped up all day on Saturday. Both days were overcast and chilly.
Saturday was sunny and would have been awesome for an outdoor excursion, but again, I was gone all day. I had a CPR and First Aid training that took up a majority of the day. It went fast overall and I had a good time. Small group of people, I was energetic and talkative, and simply enjoyed the session. It had been about 4 years since my last certification, so a lot has changed. The process for CPR is essentially more streamlined, which would hopefully make the need, if it arose, easier to rise to the challenge.
Nothing new in First Aid that I could tell.
I'd like to have more instruction, not sure why exactly. I do well in chaotic situations, though not sure of what it would be like to be at the scene of some freaky accident, though. But something about it makes me want to learn more. If I really wanted to integrate myself into the community more, I could check out the firehall and/or emt services.

Anyway, the instructor was one of the best I have ever had for it. Perhaps because he has a ton of experience directly related to the topics. There are plenty of instructors that haven't had to actually perform CPR or anything on anyone else. It doesn't matter in terms of teaching something, but it helped me in terms of the sort of questions I had. Maybe that is the difference.
Good conversation related to it continued well past the end of the course. Good stuff. With all that, I got home around 9pm, and after not having eaten since before 1 pm, I was equally famished and fatigued. Though,I didn't go to sleep until 4am, so I should have/could have headed out to a party, particularly at the 24...if it only would have occurred to me!
Instead, I played on the computer, worked with some pictures, read a magazine and watched The Exorcist on tv (the original).
I never realized what sort of crazy/funny/ironic lines are said in that movie.
In one scene, the girl masturbating with a crucifix while possessed by the demon, says, "Let Jesus fuck you, let Jesus fuck you. Let him fuck you"

I can't remember everything.. the demon calling the priest a cock sucker, and so on.

at 3 am, it was all crazy to me.

Sunday, I debated on getting together with a friend as I knew he had the day off from work, but I wanted a "me" day to just wander a book store and do a little reading. I enjoyed reading through, "Mad Science" and "Backyard Ballistics" and a couple of other books while sipping coffee. The return trip home had me stopping at the store to pick up a few items to make a chili concoction and corn bread. It turned out yummy. I ate too damn much, though.
I saw a lot of kids and teens out wandering the streets in their halloween get up and pillow cases and bags full of candy. Trick-or-Treating is so cool.

I didn't bother to buy any candy to give out. My end of the street is pretty quiet for that sort of thing, and since I wasnt going to be home anyways, figured it wouldnt be awful to not sit at home with a bowl of candy that I would eventually consume. Maybe another time..

and that brings me to wrapping up this post. My head hurts and my eye lids are droopy, sleep, please come soon.

Monday is here as is November...

Anyone ever try this?

early teens I used to skateboard- mostly tricks, not so much to get around places. Preferred to walk or ride my bike for all that. But I used to do all sorts of fun crazy stuff on my Vision board- scraping myself up regularly; then the boarding interest just faded away at the end of the season after one particularly bad fall hopping from a wall to a kid built ramp. Anyway, haven't really thought about getting back on one of any sort since..

then I saw some longboarding posts over at a snowshoe site I frequent; and I thought, I WANT TO DO THIS!

Do I? I don't know..

but I'd sure give it a go if I had the equipment.

stick-all







On the plus side, it would provide a killer upper body work out and a great conditioner for water paddling sports.

Yet, without the kick motion of regular skateboarding, one loses out on lower body conditioning.

For no external reason I was (am?) a bit in a sour mood the past couple of days. Not so much as anyone would notice as I am not one for taking it out on anyone. I just internalize and, at most, those close to me notice my extra quiet demeanor. During those times, I prefer to keep to myself and hide away from the social world until it passes. Long, brisk exerting walks/jogs/climbs etc help a little- kinda smooths out the rough edges. But it is really just a matter of time more than anything. I think this will be a quick funk. All weekend I did not want to go out, but there were social expectations on Saturday that I pulled my self together to get ready and make good of following through on an event I was expected to be at. However, shortly prior to arrival,via phone call, the plans were changed to another location. The locale was changed from the Stillwater on Delaware to some place in Amherst, and I had just arrived in Buffalo (and I was even running late!), therefor rerouting my evening to head in a whole new direction was not something I was willing to do, so I enjoyed the spontaneity and made the best of it (despite a strong draw to head back home, and despite being irritated a little more by this as I was already primed to be in an off mood). I am social enough and approachable enough to have friends, acquaintances and the ability to make fast friends wherever I go. I quickly decided to get in touch with and catch up with a new male friend, then I headed out to another location to hang out where I knew another group of friends could be easily found. All was good enough but I wasn't out long before I went back home for the night.

A long night of weird dreams, I woke up not wanting to actually get out of bed. This is a great time of year especially when the sun is out and so my natural inclination would be to head outside somewhere and hike all day. However, I just turned on the tv. The Matrix was on, and that kept me entertained most of the day. I was reveling in my funky mood. It simply felt good..

Then the pull outdoors won me over and I got ready to go out for a bit. My foot travels led to car travels and I took care of a couple of errands before stores closed down for the night. Feeling more inclined to be social, I managed to make a quick plan to meet up with a friend over coffee, then I left him to run to another friends house for dinner. It was this encounter that was most recuperative. This small group of friends (5-7 total) are ones I have had for many years. While we don't have much in common for our day to day lives, and due to some lifestyle differences, I don't hang out with them often, but we all share a long history and nothing ever really needs to be said. Literally.
and I like that.

Dinner was made. I chilled out and ate a lot more than I normally could (lasagna and chocolate cake), but it was all part of the course of the weekend mood. Following that, we wandered around the streets near where they live (Riverside), and chatted about good times past and dreams of the future- silly, light weight stuff. Like suped up golf carts, engine rebuilds, off-roading expeditions, camping, motorcycles, mopeds, city living, weekly dinners, etc. I even had the opportunity to punch something repeatedly and that always feels good. I really need a large punching/kicking bag that I can hang in my garage. Got one?

For some reason, as the night came to a close, I just felt less irritable. I was rather reluctant to wrap it up.

On the drive home I realized that I felt a little restored, for which I am grateful.

Equally grateful, and speaking of being restored, is that the "restore backup" feature on here was successful, as my sensitive keyboard skipped back a couple of pages and eliminated what I had written up to a few sentences ago. That feeling of dread worked through me until I saw the restore option and it worked. Phew!

If all things in life were that easy. :)

Damn, I knew it has been awhile since I have posted here. Seems that I have very little to say even though my head is always full of clutter to sort out. So it has been since January. That is nuts. I do hang out at Facebook a lot, ironic since I hated it for so long and even went out of my way to state, "I WILL NOT join the Facebook lemmings..' But, after several attempts over the past few years, last May I found the site to be finally relevant, and it has become even more so over time. The downfall is that I haven't been writing anything, anywhere. So not good for prosperity (and immortality!)

So... I'm going to sum up the last 9-10 months..

• Spent A LOT of time snow shoeing- by myself and with an activity partner. We would break trails and hike for hours. It did a mind and body good. My shoes are still propped against my front door ready for the season to start again. My XC skiis were used but a couple of times.. likely will do the same this winter. Snowshoes are just make for a more versatile experience. I hope to get some of you out there with me! Some places rent for cheap, but if you think you will go more often, then I highly recommend a purchase. Don't need to spend much. When the time becomes more relevant, I'll be sure to hammer out an article on equipment and what to expect as a newbie and a seasoned hiker.

• Spent a good deal of time in kickboxing classes, dance classes, weight lifting & strength training along with my usual assortment of hiking and other physical activities. Just needed to amp it up, ya know? Come spring I started jogging, then got away from that all summer.. I intend to start that back up again soon. Still dealing with an Achilles Tendon issue, but I manage alright. I know when to rest it and when to press on.

• Joined, "Drinking Skeptically" meet-up group and easily made a slew of new friends. Good people, conversations and thought experiments.

• Attending lectures regularly at, The Center for Inquiry. Been long time meaning to be more involved in that, but it wasn't until this year that I made the effort. Works out as there is much overlap socially and intellectually with the Drinking Skeptically crew. Also, the same with UB Freethinkers and Buffalo Freethought. The latter joins up at Spot on Sundays at 6pm. I attend when I can..

• Besides my usual mash of self initiated work projects, I am also now a sub for a local after school program. I would prefer it to be a regular thing, as the hours and location rock, but time will tell. Essentially, the assistant director would need to quit for me to be regularly employed. So right now, it is only an occasional gig. Given that, I'd like to find more work projects or more regular part time work to add to my schedule. For various reasons, my work load dropped dramatically this summer and it put me in a bad, tight place budget-wise. I don't mind sharing that, as I see it as a temporary glitch and just an obstacle to overcome. I pay my bills as far in advance as I can, but this caught up with me quick. Not fun at all. Though I haven't gone out as much, i have still managed to have a good time- socially, intellectually, and so on. But being broke still had an impact.

• Birthday was a couple of weeks ago. Didn't have specific plans to celebrate (see above) but then a friend a few days or so before hand planned something through Facebook. Just a simple get together, nothing formal. Fat Bobs for dinner followed by drinks and conversation at Scarlet. Had I put more thought into it, I would have mentioned it over here. I put the word out a little bit over at FB. I know, I know..

However, it barely crossed my mind and I havent been regularly online for about a month now. I cut my DSL temporarily. Library and cafes have been my place of internet usage. I use my phone rarely for that purpose.

• Went on several hikes at Devils Hole Niagara Gorge through the spring and summer. Recently went at dusk, with the return trip being in the dark. Usually I go alone or with one other person, but this time it was with a group. The night time hike was awesome.

• Ever hear of or try "letter boxing"? oh, I know some of you know just what that is ;) Well, that is a new hobby, started back in the very early spring. It is a bit of a treasure hunt (low tech, no tech geo cache) where one looks for boxes that contain stamps through the use of clues to find each box hidden in the woods or wherever. By summer, the over growth and the bugs made some areas impenetrable. Hope to pick it up again come late fall and early winter.

There is so much more.. but that is what has come to mind and I do aim to post more. Whether I say a little or a lot, whether it is clear or obscure, it is tiny part of my history, and I like having bits of it documented. Looking back on it is a trigger for other memories or for simple reflection. There was a time I wrote a lot.. and that hasn't been the case now for the past couple of years. Gotta work on that in one way or another. Maybe I need to haul out the old pen and paper?

Speaking of writing, I also aim to gat back to NaNoWriMo. Whether pick up where I left off last year or start something new, I am not sure. It is a nice way to get the writing creativity flowing.. and that starts Nov 1st.

ok, catch ya later.

should change my profile pic eventually..