I went out last night to catch Left on Red
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the group whom I met after being attacked by a tent at the Elmwood Village Art Fest. In which the lead singer Liah sung, "You have nothing to lose, you're going to die anyway."
Anyway one of the lyrics just make me think and to be honest I've been thinking about life & death all week due to some local news that brought back some memories that hit pretty close to home.
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There's nothing more brutal than to have someone you love lose their life right when it's really beginning.
So it just brings me to think, Have I really lived for the past decade or just existed? Now some people think that my seasonal FUNemployment right now is the life, but actually I've been kind of lethargic. Thanks God I have a finance class that is forcing me to brush up on my accounting skills to keep my mind active for most of the year. But looking back I remember being on Pogey in the late 90's and loving it. Then again when I think back to being "in the prime of my life" I kind of wish I didn't kind of haphazardly do noting by working out most of the time. I also hung out with friends as while they were working, which really seems kind of odd when you think about it.
But really, Do I enjoy every moment and take advantage of it? Last night I got a booty call from someone I know who is in a relationship. A part of me just is wondering if I did the wrong thing by not going over to her place as 1. Her desire for 1am booty calls during the week may not be a permanent thing. 2. My sexual desirability to others may not be forever and 3. You never know what will happen to one's self, hey our bodies do age over time as we don't live forever in peak performance shape.
But it really made me reflect on the past and what I am currently doing with myself. Now more than ever I do have a solid plan that is being followed with commitment on my end which was not the case before when I was younger. Plus now I do realize that tomorrow is never guaranteed and you have to savor the moment that you're in as you may not have another opportunity to take vacations or crash at friends homes in high cost cites as the room you currently use now will be a nursery in the future.
So all I have to do now is make sure that I never get compliant with being lazy in the now or really not flinching in making those moves out of whatever fear keeps oneself from following through.
This really should be a tag that I should post more about on a semi regular basis.
I'm all for school pride, but I think he's crossed the line to 'pathetic'. Sorry if that's mean.