Happy Birthday (e:Larsons)!!

A 'guest' just sent me a post it that said "ao did you have fun"

Ummm, sure?

So... I just got back from my grandfather's funeral. Sad, but all in all a nice day. Saw a lot of family that I don't see often enough.

My uncle gave a nice eulogy. I learned things about Grandpa I'd never known (he flew seaplanes?). But one thing he said that stuck with me... as he was winding up he said "so... dad was a great guy yada yada and he taught us right and wrong etc" but he said "he raised 3 kids. All three married. All 3 are still married. That says something. All 3 are here. He has 7 grandchildren, and one great grandchild- all of whom are here." And that made me really happy that I'd made the trip- even though it was a hassle, made me miss dave's party, made me miss allentown, was frought with my typical flight snafus, etc...

But so as I was driving from JFK wayyyyy out on long island this morning, I was thinking in the car "ok this will be sad and I will cry... (and not even so much b/c I'd devastated- but b/c I'm emotional and I cry) but at least I don't have to read."

Well... I get there... My mom is like "oh btw... will you read this poem? You don't have to..." But... I'm the oldest grandchild... of course I'm going to do it... Crap.

So... I did it... my mom and her brother and sister and all managed to do their parts without crying- and then I was the one up there blubbering. But I joked later that I figured it was my job to make anyone that wasn't already crying, start.

And afterwards everyone complimented me- which I didn't deserve.

But anyway, I just wanted to share the poem. It's a really nice sentiment.

Gone from my sight - Henry van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad should, "Here she comes!"

RIP Grandpa.

What is this bullshit, AT&T? Are you serious? The rest of the world can do it but you can't?

FINALLY- MMS:

"MMS support (send and receive photos/contacts/audio files/locations) in Messages app (29 carriers in 76 countries will support MMS at launch -- AT&T not until later this summer)"

And tethering:

"Tethering is a seamless experience -- once it's on, you don't have to run any additional software. Requires carrier support -- 22 supported carriers when launched -- AT&T was not included"

So much in a few days, good and bad. I will try to keep it brief. (but we know how that goes. ha.)

last tuesday I went to see the Tragically Hip at Artpark. It was my first Hip show. (which led me to put a comment about losing my virginity on facebook which did not go over so well.)
In any case, the show was great. Tons of fun. And a great time with a new friend.
Saw Dan there, and a buddy of his that I also know.
Afterwards we all hung out til like 3am. It was a shit show. Dan's buddy was flirting with me, which maybe bothered Dan (or maybe he was just drunk) b/c he started flirting with my friend.
Silly boys.
Though my friend said that in his drunkenness, he said something to her about how I broke his heart when I broke up with him. Huh? As I recall, it was the other way around.

He has pretty much ignored me since then, which at first made me sad, but now is really pissing me off.

Wed I went to Coles... talked to another new friend, who I wouldn't have thought I'd be interested in, but I'm finding that he's hilarious and I look forward to seeing him, so that's fun.

Thurs went to tequila tasting... the guy I was talking to a while ago was supposed to be there, but wasn't. I texted him saying we missed him, and he said he was at the Hip show. Which was shitty, b/c I'd invited him to the tuesday show, and he never answered me. So I guess that answers the "did he not kiss me b/c he's a gentleman, or b/c he's not interested?" question. Boo.
But whatever. I reminded myself that I don't have time for flakey guys who can't even call, no matter how cute and fun they are.

Friday went to a funeral all day, which was sad, but also a lovely afternoon spent with friends. Saw a hockey teammate of dan's there, who said he's a good hockey player. I relayed this message to dan, who got snarky and asked what I was doing hanging out with his friend. And then had to tack on "you know when you texted me the other day? I didn't answer because I was in bed. And not alone."

Wow, talk about unnecessary, dickish thing to say.

Friday night went to MASH bash, which I wanted to be fun... but really wasn't. I am really glad I got my ticket for free, b/c I would have been pissed if I'd paid $50 for that. I got separated from my friends, who wouldn't answer their phones, saw my other ex, with his fiancee, who was shooting daggers at me... Not to mention I'm on call all weekend and not drinking- it was just not fun, so I was home early.

Sat went to a friend's beach house in Fort Erie- gorgeous house, nice day, good people- fun fun fun.
But that morning had gotten a call from my dad that my mom had gone down to visit her father, and that he didn't look so great.

That night went to see the Hip again. Dan and his new GF (who I am friends with) and the buddy from last time were all there. I thought we were supposed to meet up. But Dan ignored me again. His buddy told me to come say hi- so during the break I did. I stood there for 5 min, until I felt like a total pathetic ass, and then walked away. The gf saw me and smiled and waved and I saw her poke Dan- who never turned around and looked at me.

Then during the encore my phone rang, and it was my dad. Uhoh. Why is my dad calling me at this hour. That's not good. I texted him that it was too loud to talk, but what was up. Well he confirmed my fears- my grandfather died last night. I'm still not exactly sure what was wrong with him- but it sounds like it was fast and (reasonably) peaceful, and my mom was there holding his hand.

His bitch wife (not my grandmother, she died about 10 years ago) asked if the funeral could be on thursday, b/c she has parties to go to this weekend. (seriously. She said that.)

I'm also upset with myself for not being more upset. It's just weird though. I had no idea he was even sick. :(

So, that put a damper on the rest of the night.

I texted dan that he had died, hoping he's not a monster and would say "sorry". But... no. He ignored me again.

i don't know what is up his ass, but he is being awful to me, and it's really breaking my heart. I know I should just write him off... but I can't. Even if I shouldn't, I still care about him too much.

I mean I know we're not together, I know he's seeing someone...
But I also know that he still cares about me at least on some level.

And I know I am going to miss him, and it will really break my heart if we don't make up and talk before I leave. But that's where it seems to be going. i tried to say hi to him on facebook this morning, but as soon as I said hi, he signed off so I couldn't talk to him anymore.

Dammit dan. If I didn't love you, I would hate you so much right now.

I've also hit kind of a diet plateau, which sucks. I have been gaining weight and I'm not sure why... blah.

So, all around kind of crappy, but with a few great highlights mixed in.

And then on top of it, my grandfather is dead. Boo.

On a lighter note, I'll end with some pix from the concerts, and my new fave pic of my sister and my niece.