ack been sick.

everyone I know has been sick, and normally I can bypass the effects of shared germs by getting extra sleep. When I don't sleep, I'm screwed.

I have been taking care of a friend of the family at night. He is 90 years old. His wife of the same age is in the hospital recuperating from a fall. She is mentally with it and sprite. He has some mild dementia that leaves him a little confused at times. Each day is almost a new day. Some things carry over, sometimes I am listening to the same loop of conversation. Anyway, between family and friends, someone is with him all the time. He goes to a day program then visits his beloved wife (who he is insanely in love with- if nothing else he remembers that everyday) in the evening. At night, someone stays over. He tends to not sleep all night and needs reminders to do a few hygiene things in the morning. Someone is there to pretty much ensure his safety in case he falls or something. Not to interfere too much or take away his independence. Just be there.

So I have been helping out 4 nights a week. I figure that it is temporary (until she gets back home) and it greatly helps everyone out. Although I can fall asleep if I want, I find it very hard to do so.
1. it isn't my own place
2. the tiny couch is uncomfy
3. He is asleep by nine or so then up for a few hours by midnight, then on and off regularly the remainder of the night. I'm definitely awake when he is.

Some nights I can doze off for an hour at a time for a combined and broken 2-3 hours max. Thats a good night. I go home in the morning and eventually grab three hours of straight solid sleep. That really messes with me!

I'm not complaining- just leading up to my being sick this weekend. As when everyone around me was getting sick, I ended up the same, especially after a few sleepless nights. Pretty much a cold- snots, stuffed nose, achy eyes, disconnected feeling.

Overall I'm not concerned about the lack of sleep situation, as it is temporary (otherwise couldn't continue for long term), and this gentleman is such a joy to be around.A true personal learning experience.

I've never been around "older" people. Actually, I am rarely if ever around anyone on either side of my life age continuum- ie; no one especially advanced in age or babies/toddlers. My grandparents died around the time of my birth, I have little family so no babies around, and my friends don't have/don't want kids- so no babies lurking around. I don't personally want any and the youngest kid I am around now a days is my boyfriends 3 yr old son, whom I see/hang out with on part of the weekend.

For the oldest I am around on occasion would be my aunt and uncle who are 70, so I guess that could count, but they are so young, hip, worldly and energetic that I have in my mind that that is the standard for that age. Maybe it is, if not, I hope to be just like them.

But 90- wow. It is surreal to think how much someone of that age has seen and gone through. For those that are healthy and mentally clear, I imagine it to be quite an experience to look back on their lives and realize what things were important and what things were stupid time wasters. What are the regrets, what are the moments of satisfaction that carried throughout the years?
and what it must be like to fade away, if you happen to suffer from mild dementia. Some times you are there, sometimes not, sometimes you hover in between. It must be difficult to watch someone you love hang there too. As dementia worsens, they aren't dying per se, but they are slipping away. That is scary.

So this has made me think of my own mortality lately..

where I want my life to go, what I want to put more effort into, what I want to put less effort into, what matters, what really doesn't, what sort of care and prospects do I want/need if I happen to get into late geriatric years. Also, what do I want to leave behind in terms of who I am... and does it matter?

So those are some of my thoughts as of late.

that and which netbook I plan to purchase this week. Asus? Acer? HP? Dell? I'd like to keep it cheap. My laptop is working at the moment and is why I can post, but I need something asap for the next round of when it doesn't work.


Well, right now, I have to get ready to head back out to his place. Being sick and sleeping part of the day, I have totally missed out on the nicer, warmer sunnier weather. Hope you have been enjoying it!

A-HA! The mouse and touchpad do not work (or stop working shortly) once the power cord is plugged in. unplug. works. plug in, stops working. hmmmmm

yet, works better at home, stationary, with power cord plugged in for days as opposed to then when taken to BF's or some coffee shop, and laptop starts up with little to no battery power and so I need to plug the cord in... and mice/touch pad issues are at their worst.

it's in the power

I'm getting there.

but I'm still buying new/newer stuff soon.

(e:theecarey,47962)
(and (e:theecarey,47877) and (e:theecarey,47879))

Although I had enough sleep, I wasn't ready to get out of bed when I looked at the clock. Instead of getting up, I switched positions, buried my head under two pillows to block out the light, and fell back into a light sleep and equally light dreams.

Usually my dreams are replete with adventure, sex, espionage, quantum physics and tons of weirdness.

One of the last ones I had this morning was one where I dreampt of alcohol, of being in a liquor store shopping for a small dinner party later that night. For reasons that do not necessarily mimic real life choices, I was searching for super sweet selections. ie; ice wine, Tequila Rose, Kahlua, Baileys*. I recall finding odd shaped bottles of pre made martinis. On the shelf were several frosted glass isosceles triangular bottles, the long tip being the opening, and somehow, also the bottom of the bottle. I bypassed those momentarily, as the thought of making mudslides sounded really good.

Still dreaming, this idea prompted me to entertain the idea of alcoholic ice cream. I spoke about it to the friend in my dream. Lovely cool scoops of ice cream that tasted like any sort of beverage you desired, and actually had that alcohol contained within. MmMmmMmmmm. My dream proceeded onto more interesting material, and there was a lot more to even this one, but this little bit remained as a fresh memory upon waking.

Now I could go for some Baileys icec ream- maybe in a soft serve custard? nice!

Alcohol ice cream has been done:


Makes me want to try making of my own.
Snoopy snow cones made with vodka doesn't count. Who was that? I bet it was (e:mike)?

I think the alcohol element derived from all the sweet drinks and various 'martini' talk around here, and I'm pretty sure that the ice cream element rose from my reading material last night, one of Augusten Burroughs many memoirs, Running with Scissors. (Is this a movie now?)

In a chapter titled, "School Daze", young (13) Augusten is reflecting that things going on in his life are much more interesting than anything in school. That when in school, he felt completely unable to identify with the lives of his fellow students. He didn't want to go to school and only went when necessary. An excerpt from one passage:

"How could I just sit there obediently pinning a butterfly's wings to a lab tray or memorizing prepositional phrases? When the other boys in the locker room were showering and talking about their weekends playing soccer, what was I supposed to say. "Oh, I had a great time. My thirty-three year old boyfriend said he wished they could package my cum like ice cream so he could eat it all day."
:X
and that last sentence stuck with me.

If I am to take anything away from my dream, it is to get drunk and laid pronto.


I can not draw with this. Some of you can create masterpieces.
I've got master pieces of crap. Not that that stops me :)

triangular martini bottles


licking a cone of baileys ice cream

• Are other brands of Irish Cream any good? If so, which? I've only purchased Baileys, but I've seen a few others and was curious.

laptop issues continue (e:theecarey,47877)
(e:theecarey,47879)

So, my computer mouse and touch pad issues did not mysteriously disappear as I had hoped. While I enjoy miraculous recoveries of inanimate objects, there is usually an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Originally, two mice failed to work. USB ports are working with other components. Touchpad stops working or works intermittently at the same time that the mice fails. After uninstalling the mouse drivers and allowing the computer to reinstall them, I found that neither continued to work. I did not see how a new mouse would help, but I had picked one up anyway as I wanted a retractable travel variety. Interestingly, the mouse worked. (e:theecarey,47877)

Forward to a couple weeks later or so, and now the same issues have reemerged. Touchpad and mouse work intermittently. Now that I have backed everything up with my new hard drive (e:theecarey,47946), I am much more open to experimentation. Going to root around in the video stuff soon..

But all that stuff besides, I am facing the reality of having to purchase a new computer. I've had this Toshiba laptop for over four years, my old Gateway laptop (still running, but has its own set of issues) for about seven years, and for kicks, I still have my desktop circa 1997; rarely used but once or twice a year- wow, twelve years already? (it collects dust)

I know I have prattled on about buying a new PC on and off for some time. I always want new gadgets, but am often reticent in plunking down the money until I have to. So now reality is setting in, and I really need to figure out what I want, need, etc.

Ideally, I would build a desktop myself and purchase a little laptop for my mobile/in between needs. That would be a toss up between the ASUS or the HP. Not sure what my budget is yet, but once I start getting prices that will help figure out what I want to spend versus what I have to spend.

I miss CompUSA. Online, I usually look at TigerDirect.com

sorry again, (e:metalpeter) - nothing risque to be seen here. (again!)

drats.

I'll leave that to (e:paul) and (e:hodown) :)


I purchased a 1TB external hard drive over the weekend.

I went with the Western Digital My Book Essential Edition. After some research and checking price points, I felt comfortable going with this one at this time.

It is a simple plug and play utilizing its USB connection cord.

I have since backed up my music, photos and other files from my primary laptop, but I have plenty more to back up from my other computer and CD-ROMs, and even a slew of old floppy disks. I will continue to back up on disk (back up to the back up), then also back up on occasion to the external hard drive. I don't see myself having it continually in use at this point.

I now want to pull the tools off the drive (save them to a disk/flash drive) and reformat the drive to get that space back. I imagine I would lose everything I have saved to it so far? Anyway, I'm not in a hurry as I'm not hurting for the 465GB that it takes up, but would like to know that I have all that extra space for my precious belongings.

Here are some Google images: