Dear friends, I am still alive, contrary to popular belief. Needless to say, the end of the semester was rough for me. I think that my ass and this chair are now the bestest of friends. For the last week I have to admit, I have shut down...spending my days watching marathons of America's Next Top Model and not showering... loads of fun! I think (e:james) put it best when he called it postpartum depression. I have no books to read, no classes to go...I feel useless and worthless and washed up. However, the funny thing is, I am not even done yet! I still have one more paper that is due the 18th which, for the last 5 days, I have successfully ignored. Part of me wishes I had just gotten it over and done with so I could really be done, but that just ain't the way I roll.

And I am sorry that felly and I missed the party. I think that might have been exactly what she needed to get into the chrismas spirit and for me to remember that there are real life, 3D human beings in Buffalo that I can converse with rather that stare at. Ah well.

All in all though, I am happy with how this, my first semester in grad school, turned out. I am still unsure about this whole bufalo/city thing but I think I can handle it at least for another 18 months. Then, who knows...the possibilities are endless.

Finally, for those of you who don't know, Jodie Foster is a big lesbian. This is what I do with my time.

I know this won't take long, so here we go

Highschool

Boy-S

College

Boy-V
Boy-K
Girl-L
Girl-Felly


Note..."sex" is tricky business. I would say that I had "sex" with a girl when I did the same things that I would not call sex if I did them with a boy. I do this to make myself feel better. Boy sex equals penile penetration (sorry felly) and girl sex equals oral sex and/or digital or toy penetration.
Pretty sad compared to Felly huh? ;)

Soooo, Felly and I are going away this weekend, from Friday the 16th through Sunday the 18th and we were wondering if anyone would be willing to come and feed our cats for us while we are gone. You would only have to come once or twice a day and just poor some food into a bowl and thats it. You could also snoop around our apartment for an added bonus. Felly is offering a batch of cookies to anyone who would be willing to do this for us.

Something happened to me this weekend. My mind rebelled against school. Or my body, or both. I didn't do anywork at all compared to my normal hours and hours of reading and writng. On Friday I watched a Project Runway marathon for way to many hours. Yesterday I went to Niagara Falls with my cousin and her boyfriend. Today I feeling anxious, knowing that I didn't do the work I should have done for tomorrow's classes. Everytime I pick up a book I can't concentrate. I know that this is all created...I think I decided on Thursday night that I wouldn't be doing any work this weekend and I am sitting in that decision right now. There is some strange feeling of liberation however...since school started I have been dedicated. always doing all the readings, all the work, spending my weekends and free time immersed in school work, and now this. I can't say if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Next week Felly and I are attempting a trip to New Paltz...I have basically 2 weeks until hell descends upon me...hell being final papers due...3 20 pages papers in a matter of 4 days. I should be preparing for this. Getting my research together, working on outlines, blahdee blah. I can't quite come to grips with the fact that the first semester is almost over. This is a constant problem for me...recognizing that reality is right now, not some far off place that I can't point to.

so I have definetly become one of those people who reads other people's journals, but never writes one of my own. It's true, I do read, or at least skim the site everyday or everyother, but I never sign in...ah well.

Today was my scariest driving day in Buffalo, and I have an inkling that I haven't seen shit. I was literally at a dead stop on 33 because there was a truck that had gone over the railing and looked like it was dangling, but it was not, over I-90. The bizarro snow/sleet balls that were pelting my car made switching lanes rather dangerous and gasp! there is some accumulation on the sides of the roads tonight.

So uh, I have 5 weeks of class left That means 5 weeks till ALL my finals are due! holy effin shit. that amounds to about 60 pages I have to write on top of two "creative" projects that are also due. Isn't procrastination a wonderful thing!