i could be wrong, but it is my general impression that europeans don't make nearly the silly fuss about nursing in public as americans do. yet another way they are better. guess what--women are a whopping 51% of the population, which means you are in the presence of breasts 102% of the time. for the whiners who express their discomfort at me FEEDING MY CHILD, uhhhhh---that's what boobs are there for. it may surprise you to know they're not just for flashing during superbowl halftime shows.

to get freudian, perhaps we all long for the pleasure and comfort of feeding at the breast, a time before thought and memory where every need is met, and that's why both sexes find breasts fascinating (and before any ladies balk-don't deny it-think about all the time you spent from adolescence to now thinking about yours compared to hers hers or hers). i think this would apply even more to formula fed people since nursing is instinctual so that longing for the breast is there twofold.

now i am right amidst those who think la leche league moms are a bit cuckoo, but it saddens me that it's the only group of people around whom it's perfectly OK to go to it without hiding. who won't remark later...."can you believe, everything showing like that??"

many ridiculous things have caught my attention, just in the last 24 hours. a commercial for the "veteran's day mattress sale" oh right..... everyone waits all year for that, when we can honor the fine people who fought and/or died in service by purchasing a mattress.
also i noticed a sticker on a rubbermaid tote stating that it is a 'limited edition' what what??? because of its unique taupe color? lemme at 'em, these babies might be worth big cash one day........ hahaha.
the third was a bullet point on a bottle of body splash-- 'use anytime-all day or all night.' who comes up with this stuff? it's sort of infuriating, the amount spent on just what goes into making commerce work. and when you boil it down, i guess it's just another longing on my part to trade your blacksmithing skills for my delicious farm raised brown eggs, or something to that effect. damned little house on the prairie.

sorry, parents. i've got him. in the world's cutest costume....





this year he pretty much 'got it.' trick or treating was a blast.... i love my new neighborhood. i had to wonder what was going through his mind since he didn't nap and was already pretty punch drunk. he had to be like "wtf?? is this what i have to do to get candy around here?"





some of my best memories are all around halloween, me and my little brother always made out like gangbusters, and my mom almost always made our costumes. one year we were a cat and mouse and one year, dice. one year i was dracula and so was one of those REALLY overzealous adults who do up their yard and play spooky music, and i swear he grabbed me when i reached out for the candy and tried to throw me in the coffin. oh my god i screamed bloody murder, but my mom says he only grabbed my arm and gave it a tug, there was no lifting involved. what's the difference, i was TERRIFIED. but that's what it's all about, or should be a little bit.
i can hardly wait for the octopus to get older for similar shenanigans. she never made it into her hot dog costume....it was so warm (golly i remember freezing our rears off trick or treating, now it's like 70? miami of the north)....but here she is looking pretty cute anyway.




so with the candy and gramma presents, it's sort of like christmas in october around here today. november, rather.

it is alarming, at the end of the day, to see how many diapers we have gone through. i have cloth ones in my possession, and don't feel the slightest bit guilty about not using them....the both of them are fortunate enough for now not to be sitting in it.....once in a while *i* get to use the bathroom as well. things are possible with the first kid that just aren't now, i'm learning. she'll live, i'm sure....and surely the landfill has a little extra room. i'll just tell myself that.

whoa, jeebus. having 2 is intense. i am averaging about 4 hours of sleep per 24, if "lucky" ---if i was in my 40s i feel this would be impossible. as it is, i am looking forward to that decade since it might be then that i can sleep again. eh. whine whine.

unruly dogs and their overprivileged owners, that schizo naptime woodpecker, the feist ipod commercial, ennui, the word ennui, sleeplessness, most food, boxes and bags, thinking about shelving, itchy itchy itchy belly skin, tv, "you're all baby," pillow between the legs, massive banana consumption, "breaking" the boy of the bee, chipped teeth, what is and isn't in my control, waiting, waiting, waiting.

mostly it is boredom, an unforeseen necessary routine, tarnished by so much physical incapability, made dull by months of repetition.
but then how the trinkets of parenthood can shine shine shine...




remember this is worth that.