As a follow up to my earlier post "I am a Disappointment in Some Depts.", we had our company Thanksgiving-themed lunch today. And let me tell you, it was fabulous. The food was amazing and different. Everyone looked like they were trying everything. Some things were clearly homemade. Some things were not but were eaten anyway. Now we are all fighting the urge to nap at our desks, but all are very satisfied.
I walked into one of the rooms and could not help but smile. I work in a really rare office - one where everyone gets along and no one seems to be that negative undercurrent that steals everyone's enthusiasm. People were talking and laughing and having a good time.
I openly admitted to all that I did not bring anything and that I did want to subject them to any attempts on my part. I donated towards the flowers. That's really all I am good for when it comes to dinner parties. I have come to terms with this. I bring bottles of wine that the guy in the wine store were good.
People were passing out recipes and I obligatorily took one. It will spend quality time with the other recipes that I have taken from other parties and they will keep each other company until someone finds them after my death and donates them to a loving home.
The really good news was there were several men that I work with who also did not bring anything. Maybe I am more like the 1950's male. Maybe my mother's generation's struggles in the workplace were not in vain, as I make as much if not more money than some of my male counterparts and I do not bring dishes to pass. Women, perhaps we have achieved equality. Thank you strong women who have come before me. I now have the freedom to be just like the men with whom I work. Well, sort of.
Changeisgood's Journal
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11/15/2007 16:00 #42147
Thank You Strong Women Before MeCategory: recently learned
11/14/2007 14:49 #42115
I am a Disappointment in Some Depts.Category: rencetly learned
More dread of dreads. The company Thanksgiving luncheon. Everyone brings a dish to pass. Sounds lovely I guess (this is my first year of this, as I have only been at this job since late last December). I am supposed to sign up to bring something - something fabulous no doubt.
People in this office bring in beautiful things all the time. They make elaborate cakes for each employee on their birthday to share with the office. Some good ole fattening lusciousness I tell ya.
Problem is I have a night job too. A really busy, encompassing one. I am very very careful to never give the impression that my moonlighting ever impacts my day job. And I hate to shop, grocery or otherwise.
Oh and there's also another problem - I hate to cook. In fact I suck at it. I am dealing with some talented folks who so ruin the curve for people like me who consider saltines and beer separate and important food groups unto themselves.
My mother's generation fought for equality. I do not want that to be in vane. I want to be equal to so many of the men I know who just come home from work some nights, watch hockey and eat foods that might be consider bar snacks for dinner. I fact, I am really good at that. It is fulfilling merely because I am home, my puppy is at my feet, hockey is on and beer is plentiful. I am a cheap date. I do not wish for more. I want to be the 1950's male.
I have no desire to strive to be better, to be everything. There is a great David Shire tune in the musical "Baby" called "I Want it All" sung by characters wanting to be everything - career women, mothers, role models.
But I do not want it all. My mother's generation would likely not be happy with me. My gene pool will never replicate. I do not wish to download recipes and bring creative things to work to impress my co-workers. My idea of creative is creatively choosing something at Delish. I am happy with that.
Maybe I'll bring some Delish cookies and claim I made them.
People in this office bring in beautiful things all the time. They make elaborate cakes for each employee on their birthday to share with the office. Some good ole fattening lusciousness I tell ya.
Problem is I have a night job too. A really busy, encompassing one. I am very very careful to never give the impression that my moonlighting ever impacts my day job. And I hate to shop, grocery or otherwise.
Oh and there's also another problem - I hate to cook. In fact I suck at it. I am dealing with some talented folks who so ruin the curve for people like me who consider saltines and beer separate and important food groups unto themselves.
My mother's generation fought for equality. I do not want that to be in vane. I want to be equal to so many of the men I know who just come home from work some nights, watch hockey and eat foods that might be consider bar snacks for dinner. I fact, I am really good at that. It is fulfilling merely because I am home, my puppy is at my feet, hockey is on and beer is plentiful. I am a cheap date. I do not wish for more. I want to be the 1950's male.
I have no desire to strive to be better, to be everything. There is a great David Shire tune in the musical "Baby" called "I Want it All" sung by characters wanting to be everything - career women, mothers, role models.
But I do not want it all. My mother's generation would likely not be happy with me. My gene pool will never replicate. I do not wish to download recipes and bring creative things to work to impress my co-workers. My idea of creative is creatively choosing something at Delish. I am happy with that.
Maybe I'll bring some Delish cookies and claim I made them.
11/09/2007 15:35 #42060
The Silent Chicken MajorityCategory: recently learned
I have lunch every Friday with a dear friend who works in a line of work that has a ton of people contact and his employment is completely at the whim of his clientele. For clarity's sake, he is not a stripper. Problem is the job has been held by a succession of people who have left because of just a few bad apples. The bushel in question apparently has a couple of folks who just need someone about whom to bitch. It seems they just need some controversy to motivate themselves to get out of bed in the morning. Its like the melodramatic soaps in Spanish only with less hairspray. It's the old "pay attention to me me me or I take my business (and my checkbook) elsewhere."
I really feel sorry for his predicament. I want him to fight but I have a feeling you can never really win these kinds of battles short of a rampage with a gun. The sad part is that it seems there are some folks who really like him and his work but they are not vocal. In fact, they have allowed this to happen to others before him and failed to stand up. They lament the loss only after the meanies have run the next one off. The silent chicken majority.
I realize some of us grow up but even as grown ups, are we still bullied by the bullies? So is adulthood really just uber high school? Does the squeaky wheel still always get the grease? Do any more clichés apply?
I really feel sorry for his predicament. I want him to fight but I have a feeling you can never really win these kinds of battles short of a rampage with a gun. The sad part is that it seems there are some folks who really like him and his work but they are not vocal. In fact, they have allowed this to happen to others before him and failed to stand up. They lament the loss only after the meanies have run the next one off. The silent chicken majority.
I realize some of us grow up but even as grown ups, are we still bullied by the bullies? So is adulthood really just uber high school? Does the squeaky wheel still always get the grease? Do any more clichés apply?
11/07/2007 13:26 #42027
That Dreaded Time of YearCategory: recently learned
Oh horror of horrors! Dread of Dreads! Its the time when I must fill out the narc-on-myself self evaluation forms at work. Its quite the dilemma.
Do I rate myself "above average" when it comes to problem-solving? Will my employer then feel that I am totally full of myself and apparently can't be trusted with any important decisions? Or should I be humble and put "average" and have my employer think "hmm, she apparently is not as good at problem-solving as I thought she was".
There is nothing to address this dilemma in the employee handbook. I checked.
Do I rate myself "above average" when it comes to problem-solving? Will my employer then feel that I am totally full of myself and apparently can't be trusted with any important decisions? Or should I be humble and put "average" and have my employer think "hmm, she apparently is not as good at problem-solving as I thought she was".
There is nothing to address this dilemma in the employee handbook. I checked.
janelle - 11/07/07 15:33
Oh, and regarding the evaluation, rate yourself above average on at least some categories. When I interview someone and they rate themselves as "average" for every skill listed (one of the interview questions is to rate yourself) we usually don't hire them.
Oh, and regarding the evaluation, rate yourself above average on at least some categories. When I interview someone and they rate themselves as "average" for every skill listed (one of the interview questions is to rate yourself) we usually don't hire them.
janelle - 11/07/07 15:31
Here, here!
Here, here!
jenks - 11/07/07 15:30
Who are you, btw.... We know nothing about you. You should introduce yourself. :)
Who are you, btw.... We know nothing about you. You should introduce yourself. :)
10/31/2007 11:59 #41903
My Irrational PrejudicesCategory: recently learned
I'm sorry. I just can't get beyond it. I do not trust the judgment or the character of the following two categories of people:
1. Anyone who has a really expensive car. I don't care how well off you are. I don't car how beautiful the car is. Your expensive car is a statement to the world, and its not saying good things about you. What it says to me is you are making bad choices. I just can't get beyond this. Even as I have grown up and made more money, I just can't shake the way it prejudices my thinking about the individual, even if I know them well and like them.
2. Vanity plates. I am sure they are out there, but I have never seen one that I didn't think was incredibly dumb or self indulgent. They just remind me of the kid in graduate school who just HAD to raise his hand and talk in class.
I am very aware that these things are irrational. I just needed to get this off my chest.
1. Anyone who has a really expensive car. I don't care how well off you are. I don't car how beautiful the car is. Your expensive car is a statement to the world, and its not saying good things about you. What it says to me is you are making bad choices. I just can't get beyond this. Even as I have grown up and made more money, I just can't shake the way it prejudices my thinking about the individual, even if I know them well and like them.
2. Vanity plates. I am sure they are out there, but I have never seen one that I didn't think was incredibly dumb or self indulgent. They just remind me of the kid in graduate school who just HAD to raise his hand and talk in class.
I am very aware that these things are irrational. I just needed to get this off my chest.
jenks - 10/31/07 21:30
Well, I agree on the vanity plates. I'm not really a big fan of vanity in any form.
[I do find it funny that vanity plates in NY seem to be actually manufactured differently- the letters/numbers aren't raised/stamped like the 'plain' plates].
As far as expensive cars... depends what you mean.
Lamborghinis, ferraris, etc I think are impracticaly, stupid show-off penis extension cars.
BMW/Mercedes on the other hand... I don't see what's wrong with having nice stuff if you want it and can afford it.
I personally have a bias against ugly/ridiculous cars. e.g. the chevy HHR. Pt cruiser. That stupid boxy scion. And the car I hate more than anything, that will get you deleted off my list of friends- the HUMMER. Not especially expensive, per se, but the worst car ever in my book. Like my dad says about golf, "I don't just hate hummers, I hate people who drive hummers."
Not a fan of SUVs in general. I mean it's one thing if you live on a mile long unpaved road in new hampshire. But suburban soccer moms do not need ridiculous "off road power" etc. Ok, this is turning into a rant, will stop now.
Well, I agree on the vanity plates. I'm not really a big fan of vanity in any form.
[I do find it funny that vanity plates in NY seem to be actually manufactured differently- the letters/numbers aren't raised/stamped like the 'plain' plates].
As far as expensive cars... depends what you mean.
Lamborghinis, ferraris, etc I think are impracticaly, stupid show-off penis extension cars.
BMW/Mercedes on the other hand... I don't see what's wrong with having nice stuff if you want it and can afford it.
I personally have a bias against ugly/ridiculous cars. e.g. the chevy HHR. Pt cruiser. That stupid boxy scion. And the car I hate more than anything, that will get you deleted off my list of friends- the HUMMER. Not especially expensive, per se, but the worst car ever in my book. Like my dad says about golf, "I don't just hate hummers, I hate people who drive hummers."
Not a fan of SUVs in general. I mean it's one thing if you live on a mile long unpaved road in new hampshire. But suburban soccer moms do not need ridiculous "off road power" etc. Ok, this is turning into a rant, will stop now.
metalpeter - 10/31/07 19:01
So then you would Hate that Bam Margara has a custom plate on his Purple Lamoboghani (or at least he used to) man that car was preaty. In terms of expensive cars to me it is more about being practical. If you wana go off roading and camping there is nothing wrong with having a Range Rover. But if you have a family there is no reason to have a corvette or mercedes sports car.
You have to at least like vanity plates that have a tie in to sports like say a bills plate that say Bills 34 or something along those lines. The thing that I don't like about those kinds of plates is when it is short for something but you can't tell what it is cause the person picked something non obvesious.
So then you would Hate that Bam Margara has a custom plate on his Purple Lamoboghani (or at least he used to) man that car was preaty. In terms of expensive cars to me it is more about being practical. If you wana go off roading and camping there is nothing wrong with having a Range Rover. But if you have a family there is no reason to have a corvette or mercedes sports car.
You have to at least like vanity plates that have a tie in to sports like say a bills plate that say Bills 34 or something along those lines. The thing that I don't like about those kinds of plates is when it is short for something but you can't tell what it is cause the person picked something non obvesious.
joshua - 10/31/07 16:23
My grandpa had vanity plates up until his death. I think between that and the smiley face bulb he used to stick on his antenna that it mainly had to do with finding his car in a parking lot.
I dunno - as far as cars go if I had a classic convertible that buys you more cred than any Porsche off the lot.
My grandpa had vanity plates up until his death. I think between that and the smiley face bulb he used to stick on his antenna that it mainly had to do with finding his car in a parking lot.
I dunno - as far as cars go if I had a classic convertible that buys you more cred than any Porsche off the lot.
james - 10/31/07 15:12
HAHAHA!! Carolinian is King Dork! Rock on!
HAHAHA!! Carolinian is King Dork! Rock on!
changeisgood - 10/31/07 15:04
Carolinian - then why have one? I just don't get it. Doesn't it cost quite a bit of money to have one?
Carolinian - then why have one? I just don't get it. Doesn't it cost quite a bit of money to have one?
carolinian - 10/31/07 14:33
Check out my vanity plate at (e:carolinian,21102).
I intentionally had it made so it doesn't look like a vanity plate and looks like any ordinary plate.
Check out my vanity plate at (e:carolinian,21102).
I intentionally had it made so it doesn't look like a vanity plate and looks like any ordinary plate.
jbeatty - 10/31/07 14:24
You're right...thats pretty irrational.
You're right...thats pretty irrational.
The way those things works are two ways.
1) You like most of the people there, so they are fun.
2) You don't like people there or would never want to hang out so it isn't fun.
3) it is forced by the company and isn't a couple peoples ideas is what makes it not fun.
They can be a lot of fun and you don't have to make anything you can bring something. The people who make all that fancy shit are not doing it for the right reasons. It is supposed to be a way to be social and have fun with eachother not show off, your office sounds like it is doing it the wrong way for the wrong reasons.
Just to give my perspective where I used to work it was fun and we did it and enjoyed it and it was done for the right reasons. But I also had a boss (who didn't know what he was doing and was an asshole and micro manager) who wasn't liked and put up a sheet and a couple things went up and then when no one signed up had a tantrum and ripped the sign down. He was trying to make us all buddy, buddy when no one liked him, and he did this with everything really.
What you should do (might be a bad idea but I say go for it):
1. Go to tops or some other store and buy lots of those chocolates that have the alcohol inthem.
2. Sneak in and don't get caught with a huge tray of brownies, make sure you you don't want the pan back. It is important that you take the first piece and that everyone sees that you take a nice big piece. You may say brownies are boaring but these will be those "Special Brownies". If you have the money to pull both of those off it sure will make and interesting afternoon!!!
I always hated those company gatherings while on the clock. No booze and people usually brought lame ass crap e.g. cocktail wieners bathing in a crockpot full of bbq sauce. I usually just brought something I didn't make.
No, do what I did, have your brother cook something and then take all the glory for yourself!
You are amongst friends, my fellow lazy bretheren! Your dinner description hit home. Some nights I just want to smoke CLEARLY LEGALIZED SUBSTANCES (in Holland that is) and watch the Gold and Blue play while eating... Wheat Thins. Help?
Josh
PS - go buy something that looks homemade. Nobody will be the wiser and you'll look like a genius.
Eegads! Don't bring something from Delish... unless stale overpriced baked goods are considered a positive contribution.
janelle, I look forward to your post. Non-cooking Martha-Stewart-Under-achievers Unite!!
I absolutely dread/hate/despise these kinds of office gatherings. Mandatory holiday cheer at its best! I actually love to cook, but to have to cook for work and make it fun, creative,and crowd pleasing is too much stress for me - I botch whatever I'm making - and so I usually end up buying something from a deli on my way to work. I could write a whole post about mandatory holiday parties at my old job...maybe, I'll work on that tonight.