I have lunch every Friday with a dear friend who works in a line of work that has a ton of people contact and his employment is completely at the whim of his clientele. For clarity's sake, he is not a stripper. Problem is the job has been held by a succession of people who have left because of just a few bad apples. The bushel in question apparently has a couple of folks who just need someone about whom to bitch. It seems they just need some controversy to motivate themselves to get out of bed in the morning. Its like the melodramatic soaps in Spanish only with less hairspray. It's the old "pay attention to me me me or I take my business (and my checkbook) elsewhere."
I really feel sorry for his predicament. I want him to fight but I have a feeling you can never really win these kinds of battles short of a rampage with a gun. The sad part is that it seems there are some folks who really like him and his work but they are not vocal. In fact, they have allowed this to happen to others before him and failed to stand up. They lament the loss only after the meanies have run the next one off. The silent chicken majority.
I realize some of us grow up but even as grown ups, are we still bullied by the bullies? So is adulthood really just uber high school? Does the squeaky wheel still always get the grease? Do any more clichés apply?
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11/09/2007 15:35 #42060
The Silent Chicken MajorityCategory: recently learned
11/07/2007 13:26 #42027
That Dreaded Time of YearCategory: recently learned
Oh horror of horrors! Dread of Dreads! Its the time when I must fill out the narc-on-myself self evaluation forms at work. Its quite the dilemma.
Do I rate myself "above average" when it comes to problem-solving? Will my employer then feel that I am totally full of myself and apparently can't be trusted with any important decisions? Or should I be humble and put "average" and have my employer think "hmm, she apparently is not as good at problem-solving as I thought she was".
There is nothing to address this dilemma in the employee handbook. I checked.
Do I rate myself "above average" when it comes to problem-solving? Will my employer then feel that I am totally full of myself and apparently can't be trusted with any important decisions? Or should I be humble and put "average" and have my employer think "hmm, she apparently is not as good at problem-solving as I thought she was".
There is nothing to address this dilemma in the employee handbook. I checked.
10/31/2007 11:59 #41903
My Irrational PrejudicesCategory: recently learned
I'm sorry. I just can't get beyond it. I do not trust the judgment or the character of the following two categories of people:
1. Anyone who has a really expensive car. I don't care how well off you are. I don't car how beautiful the car is. Your expensive car is a statement to the world, and its not saying good things about you. What it says to me is you are making bad choices. I just can't get beyond this. Even as I have grown up and made more money, I just can't shake the way it prejudices my thinking about the individual, even if I know them well and like them.
2. Vanity plates. I am sure they are out there, but I have never seen one that I didn't think was incredibly dumb or self indulgent. They just remind me of the kid in graduate school who just HAD to raise his hand and talk in class.
I am very aware that these things are irrational. I just needed to get this off my chest.
1. Anyone who has a really expensive car. I don't care how well off you are. I don't car how beautiful the car is. Your expensive car is a statement to the world, and its not saying good things about you. What it says to me is you are making bad choices. I just can't get beyond this. Even as I have grown up and made more money, I just can't shake the way it prejudices my thinking about the individual, even if I know them well and like them.
2. Vanity plates. I am sure they are out there, but I have never seen one that I didn't think was incredibly dumb or self indulgent. They just remind me of the kid in graduate school who just HAD to raise his hand and talk in class.
I am very aware that these things are irrational. I just needed to get this off my chest.
jenks - 10/31/07 21:30
Well, I agree on the vanity plates. I'm not really a big fan of vanity in any form.
[I do find it funny that vanity plates in NY seem to be actually manufactured differently- the letters/numbers aren't raised/stamped like the 'plain' plates].
As far as expensive cars... depends what you mean.
Lamborghinis, ferraris, etc I think are impracticaly, stupid show-off penis extension cars.
BMW/Mercedes on the other hand... I don't see what's wrong with having nice stuff if you want it and can afford it.
I personally have a bias against ugly/ridiculous cars. e.g. the chevy HHR. Pt cruiser. That stupid boxy scion. And the car I hate more than anything, that will get you deleted off my list of friends- the HUMMER. Not especially expensive, per se, but the worst car ever in my book. Like my dad says about golf, "I don't just hate hummers, I hate people who drive hummers."
Not a fan of SUVs in general. I mean it's one thing if you live on a mile long unpaved road in new hampshire. But suburban soccer moms do not need ridiculous "off road power" etc. Ok, this is turning into a rant, will stop now.
Well, I agree on the vanity plates. I'm not really a big fan of vanity in any form.
[I do find it funny that vanity plates in NY seem to be actually manufactured differently- the letters/numbers aren't raised/stamped like the 'plain' plates].
As far as expensive cars... depends what you mean.
Lamborghinis, ferraris, etc I think are impracticaly, stupid show-off penis extension cars.
BMW/Mercedes on the other hand... I don't see what's wrong with having nice stuff if you want it and can afford it.
I personally have a bias against ugly/ridiculous cars. e.g. the chevy HHR. Pt cruiser. That stupid boxy scion. And the car I hate more than anything, that will get you deleted off my list of friends- the HUMMER. Not especially expensive, per se, but the worst car ever in my book. Like my dad says about golf, "I don't just hate hummers, I hate people who drive hummers."
Not a fan of SUVs in general. I mean it's one thing if you live on a mile long unpaved road in new hampshire. But suburban soccer moms do not need ridiculous "off road power" etc. Ok, this is turning into a rant, will stop now.
metalpeter - 10/31/07 19:01
So then you would Hate that Bam Margara has a custom plate on his Purple Lamoboghani (or at least he used to) man that car was preaty. In terms of expensive cars to me it is more about being practical. If you wana go off roading and camping there is nothing wrong with having a Range Rover. But if you have a family there is no reason to have a corvette or mercedes sports car.
You have to at least like vanity plates that have a tie in to sports like say a bills plate that say Bills 34 or something along those lines. The thing that I don't like about those kinds of plates is when it is short for something but you can't tell what it is cause the person picked something non obvesious.
So then you would Hate that Bam Margara has a custom plate on his Purple Lamoboghani (or at least he used to) man that car was preaty. In terms of expensive cars to me it is more about being practical. If you wana go off roading and camping there is nothing wrong with having a Range Rover. But if you have a family there is no reason to have a corvette or mercedes sports car.
You have to at least like vanity plates that have a tie in to sports like say a bills plate that say Bills 34 or something along those lines. The thing that I don't like about those kinds of plates is when it is short for something but you can't tell what it is cause the person picked something non obvesious.
joshua - 10/31/07 16:23
My grandpa had vanity plates up until his death. I think between that and the smiley face bulb he used to stick on his antenna that it mainly had to do with finding his car in a parking lot.
I dunno - as far as cars go if I had a classic convertible that buys you more cred than any Porsche off the lot.
My grandpa had vanity plates up until his death. I think between that and the smiley face bulb he used to stick on his antenna that it mainly had to do with finding his car in a parking lot.
I dunno - as far as cars go if I had a classic convertible that buys you more cred than any Porsche off the lot.
james - 10/31/07 15:12
HAHAHA!! Carolinian is King Dork! Rock on!
HAHAHA!! Carolinian is King Dork! Rock on!
changeisgood - 10/31/07 15:04
Carolinian - then why have one? I just don't get it. Doesn't it cost quite a bit of money to have one?
Carolinian - then why have one? I just don't get it. Doesn't it cost quite a bit of money to have one?
carolinian - 10/31/07 14:33
Check out my vanity plate at (e:carolinian,21102).
I intentionally had it made so it doesn't look like a vanity plate and looks like any ordinary plate.
Check out my vanity plate at (e:carolinian,21102).
I intentionally had it made so it doesn't look like a vanity plate and looks like any ordinary plate.
jbeatty - 10/31/07 14:24
You're right...thats pretty irrational.
You're right...thats pretty irrational.
10/30/2007 16:01 #41887
Jesus Saves...Category: recently learned
...but you must also SAVE YOURSELF!
You must leave any church that tells you what political views you must have, because clearly that church has an agenda other than Jesus'. Get out before its too late.
My mom told me about a dinner in a restaurant she had with some very old friends, not too long ago. They worked together for years and periodically get together to catch up. They got on the subject of global warming. However, one of the friends went berserk and starting adamantly (and loudly) complaining how "liberals" made up everything having to do with global warming and how his church has been counseling them on what is the "real truth". I'm not making this up. Everyone just got real quiet (because that's how you deal with someone who acts like that).
He later called everyone and apologized. Save yourself, get out.
You must leave any church that tells you what political views you must have, because clearly that church has an agenda other than Jesus'. Get out before its too late.
My mom told me about a dinner in a restaurant she had with some very old friends, not too long ago. They worked together for years and periodically get together to catch up. They got on the subject of global warming. However, one of the friends went berserk and starting adamantly (and loudly) complaining how "liberals" made up everything having to do with global warming and how his church has been counseling them on what is the "real truth". I'm not making this up. Everyone just got real quiet (because that's how you deal with someone who acts like that).
He later called everyone and apologized. Save yourself, get out.
jason - 10/31/07 11:48
That's very interesting, Drew. I have a copy of God's Politics. In the Bible I can find a reason for disapproving of gay relationships, to be a vegetarian, to let the lazy rot, to care for my fellow man, among other things. I think I'll go back and re-read what Jim Wallis had to say. I don't have any problem with him (I bought his book).
That's very interesting, Drew. I have a copy of God's Politics. In the Bible I can find a reason for disapproving of gay relationships, to be a vegetarian, to let the lazy rot, to care for my fellow man, among other things. I think I'll go back and re-read what Jim Wallis had to say. I don't have any problem with him (I bought his book).
drew - 10/31/07 11:10
Change. Sure enough. Coercion is bad. Good religion doesn't do this (which tends to make it less effective, at least in the short term)
Change. Sure enough. Coercion is bad. Good religion doesn't do this (which tends to make it less effective, at least in the short term)
drew - 10/31/07 11:09
Some people DO complain about Wallis, but they have to do their homework, first, as he makes a REALLY good case, and does it straight from the Bible (that tends to get to conservatives!)
Some people DO complain about Wallis, but they have to do their homework, first, as he makes a REALLY good case, and does it straight from the Bible (that tends to get to conservatives!)
changeisgood - 10/31/07 10:51
I did not claim to be an expert on the subject.
I did not claim to be an expert on the subject.
joshua - 10/31/07 10:18
Generally this is true - you don't hear anybody telling Jim Wallis to back off, do you? It has to play both ways or the whole endeavor is pointless.
Anyway, I've always been fascinated and amused by people who are not religious acting as if they are experts on the subject.
Generally this is true - you don't hear anybody telling Jim Wallis to back off, do you? It has to play both ways or the whole endeavor is pointless.
Anyway, I've always been fascinated and amused by people who are not religious acting as if they are experts on the subject.
changeisgood - 10/31/07 10:05
In response to Drew's post in response to mine - I totally agree that people of faith live every minute of their lives based upon that faith. But a person must come to his or her understanding of faith as a destination after a journey they alone must take. We take in information, interpret the lessons and arrive at that faith. We cannot be forced fed and have it truly be faith.
Examples are two friends of mine I knew when I lived down South. They grew up in VERY 'charismatic' churches and VERY strict religious dogma. It took them quite some time away from those towns and households before they 'shook off' some residuals of their upbringing – as Kristi had put it, a form of brain washing.
That's what I'm taking about. The kind of force-feeding that makes you react outlandishly to long-time friends and warrants the apology the next day. History is replete with examples of people doing hateful things when that kind of fervor is triggered.
In response to Drew's post in response to mine - I totally agree that people of faith live every minute of their lives based upon that faith. But a person must come to his or her understanding of faith as a destination after a journey they alone must take. We take in information, interpret the lessons and arrive at that faith. We cannot be forced fed and have it truly be faith.
Examples are two friends of mine I knew when I lived down South. They grew up in VERY 'charismatic' churches and VERY strict religious dogma. It took them quite some time away from those towns and households before they 'shook off' some residuals of their upbringing – as Kristi had put it, a form of brain washing.
That's what I'm taking about. The kind of force-feeding that makes you react outlandishly to long-time friends and warrants the apology the next day. History is replete with examples of people doing hateful things when that kind of fervor is triggered.
drew - 10/30/07 17:39
I'm going to have to read about said crack-up.
As for us preachers working outside our field, we have been trained not to do so (at least most of us). Even though I have a little bit of counseling training, I know better than to use it, make a lot of referrals.
I'll blog about faith and politics later. (A favorite topic of mine)
I'm going to have to read about said crack-up.
As for us preachers working outside our field, we have been trained not to do so (at least most of us). Even though I have a little bit of counseling training, I know better than to use it, make a lot of referrals.
I'll blog about faith and politics later. (A favorite topic of mine)
james - 10/30/07 17:32
In Sunday's NYtimes magazine was an article about the "Evangelical Crackup" happening in Wichita, Kansas where very conservative preachers are being replaced with more religion-centered preaching styles. Essentialy, they are firing preachers who bitch about abortion, the gays, etc and hiring ones who talk about god, and Jesus, and the rest of the gang. read it <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/magazine/28Evangelicals-t.html?_r=1&oref=login">here</a>
And preachers shouldn't limit themselves to just religious topics, though those are nice. Jesus, after all, seems like a bit of an Anarchist or a Socialist at least.
What bugs me is when people go to pastors and preachers for marriage problems or psychological issues, as preachers are not trained to handle these things but are considered sources of authority.
In Sunday's NYtimes magazine was an article about the "Evangelical Crackup" happening in Wichita, Kansas where very conservative preachers are being replaced with more religion-centered preaching styles. Essentialy, they are firing preachers who bitch about abortion, the gays, etc and hiring ones who talk about god, and Jesus, and the rest of the gang. read it <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/magazine/28Evangelicals-t.html?_r=1&oref=login">here</a>
And preachers shouldn't limit themselves to just religious topics, though those are nice. Jesus, after all, seems like a bit of an Anarchist or a Socialist at least.
What bugs me is when people go to pastors and preachers for marriage problems or psychological issues, as preachers are not trained to handle these things but are considered sources of authority.
janelle - 10/30/07 17:17
I think I didn't explain my point very well, (e:changeisgood).
Liberal churches and conservative churches alike preach politics from the pulpits. Conservative churches are more likely to get slammed for it. People who slam churches for playing politics are more likely to be liberal. So they're more likely to slam conservative churches for playing politics than they are to slam liberal churches for playing politics, since they share similar views as the liberal church. It's hard for liberals to slam a liberal church for supporting gay rights since they support gay rights too. I'm just pointing out a double standard that exists for conservative versus liberal churches. I'm on the liberal ends of things, but I like to give my conservative brothers and sisters a fair shake ;)
I think I didn't explain my point very well, (e:changeisgood).
Liberal churches and conservative churches alike preach politics from the pulpits. Conservative churches are more likely to get slammed for it. People who slam churches for playing politics are more likely to be liberal. So they're more likely to slam conservative churches for playing politics than they are to slam liberal churches for playing politics, since they share similar views as the liberal church. It's hard for liberals to slam a liberal church for supporting gay rights since they support gay rights too. I'm just pointing out a double standard that exists for conservative versus liberal churches. I'm on the liberal ends of things, but I like to give my conservative brothers and sisters a fair shake ;)
changeisgood - 10/30/07 16:43
janelle - "taking dominion"? Creepy.
You don't hear people complaining about the other side of the spectrum because (it has been my experience) those folks just LEAVE a church. Oddly, they don't hang out to try to convince anyone. Isn't that strange? It has also been my experience that conservatives seem to want to be around their own and those 'more to the right' (a bad term) seem to hang around a little longer or learn to just put up with other's take on things (and complain about it).
janelle - "taking dominion"? Creepy.
You don't hear people complaining about the other side of the spectrum because (it has been my experience) those folks just LEAVE a church. Oddly, they don't hang out to try to convince anyone. Isn't that strange? It has also been my experience that conservatives seem to want to be around their own and those 'more to the right' (a bad term) seem to hang around a little longer or learn to just put up with other's take on things (and complain about it).
janelle - 10/30/07 16:31
It's really not strange if you understand/know the christian conservative movement. At the most extreme are individuals who believe in the theology of "taking dominion" over the earth. The earth and its resources exist for man to use for humankind's purposes. The earth can't be destroyed by the purpose for which it exists. At the less extreme of the conservatives are people who believe that humankind can't destroy God's creation on their own. Neither of those beliefs are mine by the way =)
Although, I wouldn't feel comfortable in a church that demands I have a particular political view, its not unseemly for churches to encourage religion/faith to guide ones political outlook. Also, I think people tend to feel more offended by churches maintaining strong political views when those views are conservative, because I don't hear anyone complaining about churches where ministers are calling for an end to the war in Iraq from the pulpit.
It's really not strange if you understand/know the christian conservative movement. At the most extreme are individuals who believe in the theology of "taking dominion" over the earth. The earth and its resources exist for man to use for humankind's purposes. The earth can't be destroyed by the purpose for which it exists. At the less extreme of the conservatives are people who believe that humankind can't destroy God's creation on their own. Neither of those beliefs are mine by the way =)
Although, I wouldn't feel comfortable in a church that demands I have a particular political view, its not unseemly for churches to encourage religion/faith to guide ones political outlook. Also, I think people tend to feel more offended by churches maintaining strong political views when those views are conservative, because I don't hear anyone complaining about churches where ministers are calling for an end to the war in Iraq from the pulpit.
dcoffee - 10/30/07 16:21
Church + Global Warming? that's strange.
Church + Global Warming? that's strange.
jason - 10/30/07 16:20
Hell, Obama stumps at the General Synod of the UCC, and they weasel their way out of trouble. Let's just let churches tell people how to vote - it's sort of already done in a wink-wink manner all over the country anyway.
Hell, Obama stumps at the General Synod of the UCC, and they weasel their way out of trouble. Let's just let churches tell people how to vote - it's sort of already done in a wink-wink manner all over the country anyway.
10/29/2007 10:46 #41858
The Work Involved with Being AppalledCategory: recently learned
I love the bumper sticker that says "If you are not appalled, you are not paying attention". I sometimes feel like there are very few people paying attention. But paying attention takes a lot of effort and energy and requires people to stop watching shows and reading magazines about celebrities.
drew - 10/29/07 13:17
(e:janelle) somehow finds time to be appalled and read about celebrities. I get appalled as well, although I waste my time on football, the internet and animated television, rather than celebs.
(e:janelle) somehow finds time to be appalled and read about celebrities. I get appalled as well, although I waste my time on football, the internet and animated television, rather than celebs.
changeisgood - 10/29/07 11:13
James - you are right. There are so many things to be ticked at. Yet you'd think my post about it requiring a lot of work to be ticked would warrant more than 52 words. I think I may be part of the problem....
James - you are right. There are so many things to be ticked at. Yet you'd think my post about it requiring a lot of work to be ticked would warrant more than 52 words. I think I may be part of the problem....
james - 10/29/07 11:02
And there are so many things to be appalled about to boot. If it isn't corrupt Alaskan Senators (yes, plural) it is farm subsidies so corn syrup can cheaply be put in every food product, then it is gasoline price gouging, or maybe it is kraft macaroni and cheese which I remember being the most delicious thing on the planet but now tastes like cellophane ass. Who has time to be informed and therefor appalled with half the things one should be appalled at? yikes!
I don't know which part of the poem to quote
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
The blood-simmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
or
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
And there are so many things to be appalled about to boot. If it isn't corrupt Alaskan Senators (yes, plural) it is farm subsidies so corn syrup can cheaply be put in every food product, then it is gasoline price gouging, or maybe it is kraft macaroni and cheese which I remember being the most delicious thing on the planet but now tastes like cellophane ass. Who has time to be informed and therefor appalled with half the things one should be appalled at? yikes!
I don't know which part of the poem to quote
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
The blood-simmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
or
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Oh, and regarding the evaluation, rate yourself above average on at least some categories. When I interview someone and they rate themselves as "average" for every skill listed (one of the interview questions is to rate yourself) we usually don't hire them.
Or is it..
Hear, hear!
Here, here!
Who are you, btw.... We know nothing about you. You should introduce yourself. :)