I'm reminded of what my uncle said to me one time when I wasn't doing so good. I'd link it but I don't remember what post it was I relayed the story. Anyhow, he asked me if I stepped on any ants when I walked outside. I said that I didn't know, that I had no idea if I stepped on any ants. He said I could relate that to my own circumstances, that I shouldn't be mad at God or the world, that sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the ant I might have stepped on.

I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. God help me. I hope everyone who is worried about their family finds the strength to cope. Lord knows, when you think you've got it bad, you are always shown someone has it worse than you.

Arrivaderci

My penchant for tinkering failed me this time. Buddhatron V2.0 won't be up until next week. It was fantastic while it was working, though!

Yes, it is time to upgrade, although I think spending lots of money on computer parts is going to become decreasingly feasible, especially if one day I have a family and whatnot. Anyhow, UPS should have everything to my door by tomorrow. Here's what I got (leaving out most of the detail):

nVidia GeForce 8800 GTS 320MB
500 GB SATA Hard Drive (For lots of HD media)
2 Gigs Corsair RAM
2.66Ghz Intel Core 2 Duo 6750

Hopefully, this will allow me to play HD media and the newest games for at least a few years, and will be upgradeable enough where I don't have to put out so much freaking money when I want new parts.

I can't believe that DT actually went through with it and posted the pics. How shocking. To me, the fact that she's a mother isn't exactly irrelevant, but it isn't the first thing that comes to mind as a reason to not do something like that.

It brings me back to a place I was in 2002, shortly after I learned I was being betrayed and lied to over and over again. It was right after the breakup. Living through my worst nightmare, not sleeping, not eating, not caring. We had made some, ahem, content, and the thought came to me to send a copy to the school she worked at, to ruin her reputation for good. Yes, what a way to get revenge. What a way to make her regret what she did.

It certainly would have done those things, but it also would have resulted in many other negative consequences. I would have ended up being a huge dickhead, embarrassed myself, alienated a lot of my friends, and possibly opened myself up to legal action.

Eventually it came to me, the anger, desperation and searing pain I felt subsided enough for me to see how wrong it was to do something like that to someone, regardless of the shit sandwich I was eating. None of it was really going to make me feel better about what happened or help the situation. No, doing something like that means moving in the wrong direction. That's when I just deleted the damn content, and I am extremely grateful for that bit of insight.

And...eventually it was revealed to me that she ended up really, really regretting what she had done anyway. Eventually she woke up too. I didn't need to do anything to make her feel like crap.

Guys, listen to me here, it is just a fact of life that when it comes to women you are going to just have to learn how to eat a shit sandwich and smile. If you go through life without having been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, you either have never dated or you have been extraordinarily lucky. It is what it is, and the scars are just the price of perhaps finding someone you can be with someday.

(Cue Kenny Rogers)

ON TO OTHER THINGS:

I ordered parts for a new PC. Finally, other than the $300 for my monitor, I've spent something on myself that has nothing to do with paying off debt or paying for my car to be fixed. I'm really excited about it. There goes my weekend!

After reading (e:James)' latest offering the wheels started turning. I don't 100% know the state of Buffalo schools, maybe he can elaborate on it a little, but from what I understand, our kids still do not all have updated books and access to technology. This to me is more important than teacher raises, although I do sympathize. They have what I feel is a very, very tough job, and they deserve all the credit in the world, and hopefully sometime down the road, the monetary compensation for it.

I agree that we don't want to take away from a school like OP to give to the poor kids in Buffalo (although I can't understand why they need a TV station). The only way that happens is for layers of government to be shed, for us to regionalize, and the suburbs have already categorically rejected that idea. It's a non-starter.

We also cannot continue to go through the cycle of depending on bloated home re-appraisals, and increasing taxes on a population that is poor and shrinking. Even though this is all true, if we wanted the government to allocate more of the pie to education, we would have to make tough choices, probably making a target of culture, arts and recreation, something we all find intolerable.

So what do you do? I think the answer is to make it really attractive for the suburbanites to come to the city and spend lots of money. Of course, this means I have to compromise a little on my gripe concerning the yuppie-ization of Elmwood, to some small extent, but if you guys will indulge me I will explain.

The best opportunity we have is for the players involved to stop bullshitting and get on with coming up with a really great idea for our waterfront. If done the right way, it could serve as a great way to generate tax revenues through creating more economic activity downtown.

I think it should be a multi-use area that people can go to every night of the week for most of the year. I want to see a lighted boardwalk and bike path, lined by different shops, outdoor wear, things like that, and food places (hot dog, pizza, ice cream, sub shop). Maybe a cool arcade, with skee ball and different other types of games and video games - an alternative to Dave and Buster's, but not quite that big.

How about a different area, a square park area, lots of green space, surrounded by different kinds of things, movie theater, book store/apple store, record store, upscale bar or two, patio restaurant or two, panini shop. Stuff like that. A boutique hotel maybe would also be an attractive thing. I have no idea what kind of space we would be working with, but I think you understand. We want to create a different area with a different atmosphere.

If you really want to be crazy, dedicate a part of it to create an Amphitheater. You could have plenty of great outdoor lectures, plays, pops concerts, and other musical acts staged downtown at a really great venue. We could move the Marina concert series down there. Why not? I bet people would love it.

Of course, I have to get back on track and get to the point. Something like this would be good for everyone. This is one way to get our hands on suburbanite dollars. It could be an uncovered treasure in WNY, and could allow us to generate some jobs and dollars to help our local government get out of the shit, although we still have serious corruption and patronage issues to deal with. We would have more money available for things like teacher raises and books, technology rooms, we can give kids many of the same tools the suburbanites have if we demand it is a priority.

I have other ideas, things that I can't even begin to get into now. Maybe later, but the bottom line is that we have to be proactive, and do something positive to solve this problem.