......and not everyone is forgiving. See, sometimes even when you want to do the right thing, you will not earn a good result for yourself. Sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes people are content to be bitter. Sometimes a heartfelt apology doesn't work. All you can do is try your best, and work on the damage control.

It made me think about whether or not it is better to just skip to the end and be a total jerk, because you will be treated like one anyway, made fun of, so on and so forth. It is really tempting to say all the nasty things you've always wanted to say, to hurt them, or at least to make yourself feel better for a while.

Or maybe it is better to just not give a damn what people say, because most of them are ignorant, full of shit to begin with, and have no impact on your life whatsoever. They will throw you under the bus. They are non-entities. Their opinion is worth as much as a rock's opinion. We all know who matters and who doesn't.

I don't think either approach will work. Being a jerk from the beginning means compromising your principles, and risking alienating the people who you care about, as well as potential new friends. Not giving a damn means closing off opportunities to have more people in your life who you care about. You can't just not care. It doesn't work that way.

Maybe the compromise is to just be ruthless with people when they really deserve it. Nobody ever got anywhere taking it on the chin all the time. Maybe, in some cases, Islamic justice goes along with human nature.

I'm reminded of what my uncle said to me one time when I wasn't doing so good. I'd link it but I don't remember what post it was I relayed the story. Anyhow, he asked me if I stepped on any ants when I walked outside. I said that I didn't know, that I had no idea if I stepped on any ants. He said I could relate that to my own circumstances, that I shouldn't be mad at God or the world, that sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the ant I might have stepped on.

I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. God help me. I hope everyone who is worried about their family finds the strength to cope. Lord knows, when you think you've got it bad, you are always shown someone has it worse than you.

Arrivaderci

My penchant for tinkering failed me this time. Buddhatron V2.0 won't be up until next week. It was fantastic while it was working, though!

Yes, it is time to upgrade, although I think spending lots of money on computer parts is going to become decreasingly feasible, especially if one day I have a family and whatnot. Anyhow, UPS should have everything to my door by tomorrow. Here's what I got (leaving out most of the detail):

nVidia GeForce 8800 GTS 320MB
500 GB SATA Hard Drive (For lots of HD media)
2 Gigs Corsair RAM
2.66Ghz Intel Core 2 Duo 6750

Hopefully, this will allow me to play HD media and the newest games for at least a few years, and will be upgradeable enough where I don't have to put out so much freaking money when I want new parts.

I can't believe that DT actually went through with it and posted the pics. How shocking. To me, the fact that she's a mother isn't exactly irrelevant, but it isn't the first thing that comes to mind as a reason to not do something like that.

It brings me back to a place I was in 2002, shortly after I learned I was being betrayed and lied to over and over again. It was right after the breakup. Living through my worst nightmare, not sleeping, not eating, not caring. We had made some, ahem, content, and the thought came to me to send a copy to the school she worked at, to ruin her reputation for good. Yes, what a way to get revenge. What a way to make her regret what she did.

It certainly would have done those things, but it also would have resulted in many other negative consequences. I would have ended up being a huge dickhead, embarrassed myself, alienated a lot of my friends, and possibly opened myself up to legal action.

Eventually it came to me, the anger, desperation and searing pain I felt subsided enough for me to see how wrong it was to do something like that to someone, regardless of the shit sandwich I was eating. None of it was really going to make me feel better about what happened or help the situation. No, doing something like that means moving in the wrong direction. That's when I just deleted the damn content, and I am extremely grateful for that bit of insight.

And...eventually it was revealed to me that she ended up really, really regretting what she had done anyway. Eventually she woke up too. I didn't need to do anything to make her feel like crap.

Guys, listen to me here, it is just a fact of life that when it comes to women you are going to just have to learn how to eat a shit sandwich and smile. If you go through life without having been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, you either have never dated or you have been extraordinarily lucky. It is what it is, and the scars are just the price of perhaps finding someone you can be with someday.

(Cue Kenny Rogers)

ON TO OTHER THINGS:

I ordered parts for a new PC. Finally, other than the $300 for my monitor, I've spent something on myself that has nothing to do with paying off debt or paying for my car to be fixed. I'm really excited about it. There goes my weekend!