Here's wishing you have a hoot of a birthday



And an absolutely fantabulous(*)



year ahead!

Here's my kind of Birthday cake. ;)



Enjoy!


_____
(*) I was told that the word was in vogue in the 80s, but whatever...

(e:libertad)'s post about laundromats set this one in motion. I think this is a good time to whine about the laundry in my building basement.

I am somewhat grossed out by the washers and dryers in my building. The small holes where you pour in the detergent and the softener are coated with gooey hideousness and I am convinced that mutant bacteria might be growing and thriving in that semi-solid mess as we speak. In addition, my clothes come out decorated with long blond hair, even though I obsessively clean out the lint chamber.

The situation is, I suppose, not without merits. I now possess the exclusive knowledge that someone with silky golden mid-arm length hair or perhaps a dog-walker with an especially hairy golden retriever charge lives in my building. As attractive as this makes my building, I
am not sure that I really need to be festooned with keratinized souvenirs to appreciate this fact. I hate that I need to lint-roll my clothes after they come out from the machines to avoid looking like the woolly mammoth every time I wear the affected clothes. I have not quite reached the point where I am inspired to lug my laundry to a commercial laundromat but the long blond hair might just be the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

Oh, and the washers sometimes charge you twice for one cycle. When I complained to the manager, he passed the buck to the Maytag company. I was under the impression that "Maytag" was a creative play on the name of the building - Mayflower. It appears, now, that I might have been mistaken.

And since I am whining about the machines, why not whine about the basement and the elevators too? The basement used to be a fall-out shelter back in the 1930s, so the only way to the basement is via the tottering old elevators - that don't work for about 10 days in a month. I don't want to be perceived as an imbalanced whiner, so let me point out the pros and cons of such a predicament.

Pros:
1. Yay! Can't do laundry, 2 hours saved. Get back to the paper you never finished reading.
2. Yay! Get some exercise, climb up and down five floors and tone those deviant muscles that have been sitting around all day.

Cons:
1. One more day of digging in the laundry basket for clothes to wear.
2. What if you are doing your laundry, came back upstairs because you can't stare at the machines (however hypnotic and soothing that may be) and the elevators chose to stop working? Wear pillow-cases and blankets to work and pretend its halloween?

The basement itself is a rather spooky place. It has motion-sensor fitted lighting. But sometimes, even if you do the savage version of the Irish jig, the lights don't come on. And I have no idea where the light-switches are; perhaps there aren't any. Being left in the dark in the basement can be compared to being left in the dark in a groaning hull of a ship that hit an iceberg and is sinking. Same sounds, feeling of impending doom and a massive partially-filled freaky hole in the wall (part of an old heating system/chute for garbage?).

There. Now you know the trials of my typical laundry-day. Cheers!

@(e:Paul): I thought the fire drill would be cool too, until they decided to take the show outdoors. We formed a small queue to have a go at pushing the fire extinguisher handle. I admit that I did look forward to finally being able (and required) to operate that mysterious red omnipresent cylinder. I am sure, so did a vast majority of those who were in the small queue. However, the wind turned against us (quite literally) and blew all the chemical fire-extinguishing smoke all over us. Many of us breathed it all in.

For those among you, who have never had the fine opportunity of experiencing this potion from hell and are interested, it has an initial bitter taste with a distinctly chemical sour overtone. Since it is a very fine aerosol, it insidiously coats the lining of your throat and makes you gag everytime you swallow. For about 5 hours after you inhale the chemical, you feel as if you have a sore throat and drinking hot tea or coffee makes it worse since the sour overtone intensifies and the bitterness in the tea/coffee is magnified about ten times over.

If not anything, the orientation taught me that fire-fighters deserve a lot of respect for what they do, not just because of the obviously dangerous life-endangering nature of their jobs, but also their willingness to continue fire-fighting after being exposed to this vile chemical day in and day out, in addition to the smoke from the fires. If I had to be a fire-fighter, I wouldn't last even a day. So thank you for sticking out your throats and necks for the rest of us.

@(e:Chico) Yep! uber-creepy is the most apt word to describe the logo on that neck-band. :) "Corporate Replicant"? Heh. Now that would be uber^2 creepy! I think we are not very far off from a scannable bio-genetic material of some kind on all our IDs.

@(e:mrdeadlier): I did take a deep breath and look what happened!!! ;)
Jokes apart, I didn't know the real motivation for Roswell turning into a corporation - so thanks for the information! It does need all the money it can get if the money is going towards funding the goals in its mission statement. By the way, is Dr. Trump of Roswell related to the other Trump we all know and don't love?

@(e:jenks): Ah! So the "Institute" part of the name wasn't so decent either. It is somewhat unfortunate that HIPPAA rules, instead of making things better, are steadily taking things towards the worse. I agree that patient privacy must be given the importance and consideration it deserves, but blocking medical record-access/authorization for ER situations is damaging to all the parties involved.

I am required to attend new employee orientation tomorrow and I am dreading it. I work in a corporation. Its Roswell Park Cancer Institute Corporation. They couldn't stop at a decent sounding "Institute". They had to go and add a "Corporation" into it. Now to justify adding that extra word (and wasting tons of paper and ink, printing that extra word) they have an employee orientation where they rope in all the directionless sheep and put them through the shears from 8:00 am to 1:00 pm.

To make it even more foreboding, they sent me an official letterhead memorandum about it. The description of the orientation has informed me that "The program allows for an "on your own" lunch break". I wonder what that will be. They will put us all in our corners and order us to eat? That sounds so stressful.

Plus I noticed people wearing an ugly and creepy looking fluorescent green neck band to hang their IDs on here and when I took a closer look today it had "Corporate Compliant" printed all over it in the most uninspiring plain font you could think of. I am afraid I am going to end up getting and being forced to wear one of those monstrosities. It isn't enough that I have a pathetic dress sense to start with. Now Roswell "Corporate Compliance" might require me to look even more dowdy via their totally repulsively coloured and printed neck bands. I know that they need to inject some uniformity among their staff but hey, spare the poorly dressed ones!

I think earlier they used to give out this nifty navy blue neck band with "Roswellness" printed on it. But that seems to have undergone a deterioration and ended up with a nasty colour *and* incredibly lame logo. "Corporate Compliance"??! It sounds so hideous - as if you were faceless spineless drones in a tyrannical corporation.

The bottom line is I don't want to go to a boring orientation at 8:00 am and I certainly do not want to wear that absurdly and most garishly designed neck band!

The whole $14.99 a month for the first year from Verizon is a BIG LIE!

This was my first bill which came in today: $180.03


I expected the first bill to be high but take a look at what pushed it up:


The basic "flat rate local service" had an initial charge of $77.46 and a recurring charge of $73.09 (for less than 2 months)!! $70+ for a simple landline with NO frills (no long distance, whatsoever) is prohibitively expensive.

Added to this was a $29.48 charge for the modem and the DSL.


I did what any sane person should have done at 8:00 am today. Called the freaks and cancelled the verizon local service. Now I have the DSL without local service for $30 a month.

I just can't help thinking what a tonload of LIES the $14.99 a month plan is. More crafty is Verizon's very cunning delayed bill which ensures that you cannot return their money-grabbing service within 30 days - because you don't realize what a bundle of money the whole mediocre service will cost per month, before looking at the first bill.

I hate Verizon. Officially. I can't wait for this year to be over, so I can dump them. Because if I dump them now, the Scum-ridden Shylocks will charge me $79 for dumping them early. What a royal pain.

Hope you all ingest E-coli ridden food, Verizon, along with all your rude employees and rot away with the most severe of bloody dysentery - from which you never recover and die a most painful and slow death on some maggot-ridden bed!

No thanks for making my Monday the most abominable Monday I have had in a few years!