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Jenks's Journal

jenks
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06/03/2007 19:22 #39516

flurry of productivity...
oowee, it's getting sticky out there, isn't it? might be time to haul out the AC one of these days.

So... my dinner plans fell through tonight (bummer), but, instead, i managed to be amazingly productive and do all the crap I've been putting off forever.

Laundry (like six loads- still needs to be folded)
changed my sheets
cleaned the fish tank
groceries ($212 worth!!!! but in my defense, i haven't been to the store in probably 2months. I was living off toast and pickles, and then i ran out of bread. I don't know what my problem is. I love wegmans. I just hate motivating to go.)
did a bunch of paperwork/email crap
got all the stuff to grow tomatoes and basil on my back porch!

All that's left is to PLANT the tomatoes, fold the laundry, and take my dress to a tailor.

but on the gay pride note- you may have seen this before, but i swiped it from a forum that I read and thought it was pretty good.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast
resident, which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to
all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.

thank you



mike - 06/04/07 23:57
whree the heck have you been lately!?!
dragonlady7 - 06/04/07 23:28
Oh yeah, I've seen this one as an email forward. It totally rules.

06/03/2007 13:56 #39511

awesome song!
I'm not much of a country fan, but I will make an allowance for cool old classic country, esp willie nelson. (and ok, i kinda like carrie underwood's 'before he cheats'- guilty pleasure).

But so I heard this song the other day, and I thought it was super-cool.
Willie Nelson doing a duet with Toots Hibbert (of toots and the maytals).

I just love the way willie nelson's voice is SO identifiable.

In any case, I heard the song, thought it was cool, and just looked it up and bought it on itunes.

Then looked in my library to play it- only to find I already had the whole album.

what a doof.

Anyway, enjoy! (it's my user song).


fellyconnelly - 06/03/07 16:33
i love willie nelson. its funny because i'm more likely to listen to old country or anything before 1995 than new country...

06/01/2007 11:34 #39490

looking for a good tailor
Help!

I am the maid of honor in my friend's wedding next month.

And of course, I have a big silly dress to wear.

I need to have said big silly dress taken in.

Can anyone recommend a tailor/seamstress? This is more than just hemming some slacks, so I don't want to just go to a random dry cleaner or something...

05/30/2007 16:56 #39461

personal ad
Category: :)
"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long
walks in woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips,
cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me
eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll
be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what
nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) xxx-xxxx and ask for
"Daisy."





Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.
ajay - 05/30/07 23:45
This is hilarious (and true). It seems they still get occasional calls from people who come across the original on some Internet site or the other.
mike - 05/30/07 20:45
i love it, that is hilraious!
fellyconnelly - 05/30/07 18:48
HAHA this is absolutely amazing!
mrmike - 05/30/07 18:36
hee

05/29/2007 12:26 #39440

photo dump
Category: pix
A paul-style phone-purge gave these pix:


image
A SWEETHEART of a stray dog that wandered in while I was getting my hair cut. He was the sweetest thing ever. Fortunately when I went back later, his owner had come and found him. Apparently he cried tears of relief when he finally found him. :)

image
At work, lookin good!! haha. glasses and all. Ugh.

image
Cutest. things. ever.

image
I can't believe this tiny thing is 12GB. I remember my first powerbook, with it's blazing fast 33mhz processor, and after I filled up the 20mb hard drive, I got a little external 100mb hard drive, which I was sure was more space than I could EVER use. Oh, how times have changed.

image
Drinking beer at the Malamute at about 930am on a wednesday, after a long night at work. KLASSY! I had to 'borrow' my glass though. It was like the old-style Canadian 'double label', and said "I'd rather be partying. Oh wait. I am partying."

image
A wine tasting bar in the pittsburgh? philadelphia? (i forget) airport on my way to vacation. it was not open at 6am or whenever it was I was there. Good thinking.
jenks - 05/29/07 16:07
haha, the owner. Apparently he'd been looking for the dog for 6hr or something, and was so relieved to finally find him [the dog], that he [the owner] burst into tears.
kara - 05/29/07 15:59
Was the dog crying, or the owner?
fellyconnelly - 05/29/07 14:16
the dog on the couch kind of looks plastic. Like a plastic statue that somebody laid down on a couch. I think.