There is a momment, amid total inebriation, walking down elmwood and using the parking meter as walking sticks, where typing what one in fact says and what one infact intends end up being two very differnet things.
And so I leave this entry, warts and all, to the magic power of alcohol and a large group of people consuming it.
mazeltov children, mazeltov.
James's Journal
My Podcast Link
06/02/2007 03:53 #39499
sickly sweet corpsuculals05/31/2007 14:13 #39478
If you love crap, and I know you do...Latoya, like a siren who will eat my bowels, I am drawn to you despite all warnings.
And that moment, with the camera focused on her empty chair, one of the finest minutes in television history.
fellyconnelly - 05/31/07 16:52
i don't know what the hell is going on, but i'm very amused.
i don't know what the hell is going on, but i'm very amused.
05/29/2007 00:21 #39439
The wet splash of purgeAh yes, that feel!
Ten minutes ago I deleted my LiveJournal account. Dear fat baby christ, thank you for splashing that muse up against my skull.
LJ used to be awesome. I had a ton of friends on that had amusing little lives that I enjoyed from afar. Or people who are actually afar and so it is tough to directly communicate. But as the maw of progress ate Lj and zombie MySpace rose from the dead my friends were disappearing. Instead of scores of lovely little snippets of lives akin, I had people close to strangers. People I had never met. People who kept a photo blog of their bowel movements (content deleted. Flush)
baby, finish your drink. Let's get out of here.
So, I just deleted it. The good friends I can keep in touch with. The others? Well, there is a whole universe full of other.
The brightest spot in those whole event is that what ever horrid pastiche I called a journal will not reincarnate itself as a MySpace abortion. Nope. That path which begins with good blogging intentions, which is paved with an eye on the human experience in the personal, can lead only to a dead end of "ZOMG My MoM iS sUcH a BiTcH!!! LOLZ OMG WTF!!1!" And frankly, I take comfort in knowing that when I too die, my remains shall be riddled with worms, and not excessive exclamation points.
good night
Ten minutes ago I deleted my LiveJournal account. Dear fat baby christ, thank you for splashing that muse up against my skull.
LJ used to be awesome. I had a ton of friends on that had amusing little lives that I enjoyed from afar. Or people who are actually afar and so it is tough to directly communicate. But as the maw of progress ate Lj and zombie MySpace rose from the dead my friends were disappearing. Instead of scores of lovely little snippets of lives akin, I had people close to strangers. People I had never met. People who kept a photo blog of their bowel movements (content deleted. Flush)
baby, finish your drink. Let's get out of here.
So, I just deleted it. The good friends I can keep in touch with. The others? Well, there is a whole universe full of other.
The brightest spot in those whole event is that what ever horrid pastiche I called a journal will not reincarnate itself as a MySpace abortion. Nope. That path which begins with good blogging intentions, which is paved with an eye on the human experience in the personal, can lead only to a dead end of "ZOMG My MoM iS sUcH a BiTcH!!! LOLZ OMG WTF!!1!" And frankly, I take comfort in knowing that when I too die, my remains shall be riddled with worms, and not excessive exclamation points.
good night
jenks - 05/30/07 00:10
have you seen that cell phone commercial where the little girl is talking to her mom in texts? mom's like "who are you texting so much" and she's like "OMG it's NBD, just my BFF" I am a big dork and still use full words and punctuation in texts, even though it's a PITA. I hate "u" and "r" and "ur" in texts. hate hate it.
have you seen that cell phone commercial where the little girl is talking to her mom in texts? mom's like "who are you texting so much" and she's like "OMG it's NBD, just my BFF" I am a big dork and still use full words and punctuation in texts, even though it's a PITA. I hate "u" and "r" and "ur" in texts. hate hate it.
fellyconnelly - 05/29/07 19:03
i have a problem with periods. i could construct an entire essay and have several periods interspace every sentance. it is so hard for me not to do this right now as i write this. i also don't capitalize.
i have a problem with periods. i could construct an entire essay and have several periods interspace every sentance. it is so hard for me not to do this right now as i write this. i also don't capitalize.
james - 05/29/07 16:33
Joshua: I caught myself saying that once. "L-O-L" and quickly threw my hands over my mouth like pandora trying to shove pestilence and war back into that box. The exception might be saying ROFLMAO or something equally long and ungainly.
Jenks: Beware of those with grammar that is too good. They are just players trying to get their eloquent tongues down between your unsuspecting nethers!
I have used my one exclamation point. And so must retire.
Joshua: I caught myself saying that once. "L-O-L" and quickly threw my hands over my mouth like pandora trying to shove pestilence and war back into that box. The exception might be saying ROFLMAO or something equally long and ungainly.
Jenks: Beware of those with grammar that is too good. They are just players trying to get their eloquent tongues down between your unsuspecting nethers!
I have used my one exclamation point. And so must retire.
jenks - 05/29/07 16:14
I had a high school english teacher who flat out said (with contempt) that any more than one exclamation point is a sign of immaturity. But i agree with you- proper use of a semi-colon gets you points. Big points in my book. Proper grammar is dead sexy! ;)
I had a high school english teacher who flat out said (with contempt) that any more than one exclamation point is a sign of immaturity. But i agree with you- proper use of a semi-colon gets you points. Big points in my book. Proper grammar is dead sexy! ;)
joshua - 05/29/07 15:15
We mock it openly by referring to it as "LAWL" - you know, what it sounds like when people actually phoenetically speak out "LOL" as if its a word without saying el! oh! el!.
We mock it openly by referring to it as "LAWL" - you know, what it sounds like when people actually phoenetically speak out "LOL" as if its a word without saying el! oh! el!.
james - 05/29/07 15:08
Jenks: I firmly believe that everyone should have an exclamation point quota. It is an over used punctuation mark. However, if you can properly use a semicolon you get a few extra.
Felly: LOLs are apart of the acceptable online lexicon. I am cool with using them. But then, like the exclamation point, there are those who use them way too often. Please, think of the following dialog not so much a peek into the fascinating private world of my mind, but a morality play.
Job: Oh Lord, why do you take my children when I give you praise, salt my fields when I give you supplication, blight my skin when I give you thanks?
Devil: LOLZ OMG ROFLMAO! PWND!!!!!
thank you, I hope that was instructive.
Enjoy the LJ purge.
Jenks: I firmly believe that everyone should have an exclamation point quota. It is an over used punctuation mark. However, if you can properly use a semicolon you get a few extra.
Felly: LOLs are apart of the acceptable online lexicon. I am cool with using them. But then, like the exclamation point, there are those who use them way too often. Please, think of the following dialog not so much a peek into the fascinating private world of my mind, but a morality play.
Job: Oh Lord, why do you take my children when I give you praise, salt my fields when I give you supplication, blight my skin when I give you thanks?
Devil: LOLZ OMG ROFLMAO! PWND!!!!!
thank you, I hope that was instructive.
Enjoy the LJ purge.
fellyconnelly - 05/29/07 14:15
HA - I used to LOL all the time until I got yelled at. A lot. Now I see how insipidly wrong it is, and therefore I tend to reserve all 'lol's for the people who are mostly computer retarded. Like 98% of my family.
also - you have inspired me and I'm going to leave estrip in three minutes to delete my lj. death to the LJ.
HA - I used to LOL all the time until I got yelled at. A lot. Now I see how insipidly wrong it is, and therefore I tend to reserve all 'lol's for the people who are mostly computer retarded. Like 98% of my family.
also - you have inspired me and I'm going to leave estrip in three minutes to delete my lj. death to the LJ.
jenks - 05/29/07 10:18
heh, a favorite i saw one, making fun of excessive exclamations, was "OMG! I can't believe it!!!!11!1!!one!!eleven!!1!"
heh, a favorite i saw one, making fun of excessive exclamations, was "OMG! I can't believe it!!!!11!1!!one!!eleven!!1!"
05/22/2007 23:33 #39382
The weepy teet of god(e:Jim) and I are busy moving accross town this week. As such, I am cranky and no fun to be around. The only way I am tolerable when moving is if I get good and drunk. And I as I am making about a dozen car trips between the old place and the new I can't get good and drunk which makes me bad and angry.
So,
I will post back here some time in the future. In the meantime I have a litter of wine that is screaming for me to drink it dead.
cheers
So,
I will post back here some time in the future. In the meantime I have a litter of wine that is screaming for me to drink it dead.
cheers
mike - 05/29/07 00:37
i hope the moving is going good (you are prolly almost done as this is a late post to a weekold journal). But don't forget to come to (e:lilho)'s party and you can get good and drunk there...
i hope the moving is going good (you are prolly almost done as this is a late post to a weekold journal). But don't forget to come to (e:lilho)'s party and you can get good and drunk there...
joshua - 05/23/07 16:42
Keep your head up - do whatever you need to in order to make the move easy, or at least tolerable. I see you planned ahead. =D
Keep your head up - do whatever you need to in order to make the move easy, or at least tolerable. I see you planned ahead. =D
fellyconnelly - 05/23/07 11:43
i could probably open my own moving company from the number of times i have moved around this stupid town. i feel as though i could pack a 1 bedroom apartment into a vw bug and still have room for a passenger at this point.
i could probably open my own moving company from the number of times i have moved around this stupid town. i feel as though i could pack a 1 bedroom apartment into a vw bug and still have room for a passenger at this point.
james - 05/23/07 10:51
Thank you for your sympathy everyone as well as the cruel mark of your editors pen. Though today I did move 20 lbs of cat litter, still fresh and in the box. We don't keep old litter or anything.
I know, liter. But since I was writing a 'feel bad for me' post I would put an extra crucifix in my liter. Hung with care.
leetee: I thank you greatly for your offer. At this point though I am just shooting grain alcohol directly into my veins as to avoid lifting a bottle.
Paul: We are at 744 Ashland in the upper flat. You and your's have an open invitation to dinner if you think you can stand the hilariously excessive amount of pet hair floating about. ((e:Jim)) shall post photos for sure.
Felly: Oh, I did that twice three years ago. Even if I hated Buffalo I would stay here forever just to avoid a long ass move again. Thankfully Buffalo is awesome.
Now if you will excuse me all, I have a bottle of everclear and an IV drip to contend with.
Thank you for your sympathy everyone as well as the cruel mark of your editors pen. Though today I did move 20 lbs of cat litter, still fresh and in the box. We don't keep old litter or anything.
I know, liter. But since I was writing a 'feel bad for me' post I would put an extra crucifix in my liter. Hung with care.
leetee: I thank you greatly for your offer. At this point though I am just shooting grain alcohol directly into my veins as to avoid lifting a bottle.
Paul: We are at 744 Ashland in the upper flat. You and your's have an open invitation to dinner if you think you can stand the hilariously excessive amount of pet hair floating about. ((e:Jim)) shall post photos for sure.
Felly: Oh, I did that twice three years ago. Even if I hated Buffalo I would stay here forever just to avoid a long ass move again. Thankfully Buffalo is awesome.
Now if you will excuse me all, I have a bottle of everclear and an IV drip to contend with.
fellyconnelly - 05/23/07 10:36
eep moving.
at least you are moving across town and not across the state!
also i keep picturing a litter box full of wine and it kinda is making me not feel so good..
eep moving.
at least you are moving across town and not across the state!
also i keep picturing a litter box full of wine and it kinda is making me not feel so good..
paul - 05/23/07 09:35
Where did you guys end up moving to?
Where did you guys end up moving to?
leetee - 05/23/07 09:34
Lordy, i hate moving too. You have my sympathies.
We had some old (who the hell knows how old it is!!) Port at the estate sale no one was interested in... you want that to join your litter?
Good luck Jim & James!
Lordy, i hate moving too. You have my sympathies.
We had some old (who the hell knows how old it is!!) Port at the estate sale no one was interested in... you want that to join your litter?
Good luck Jim & James!
jenks - 05/23/07 09:05
i think a litter of wine sounds even better than a liter. ;) I want one.
i think a litter of wine sounds even better than a liter. ;) I want one.
05/18/2007 14:02 #39333
A woman? No, she was a Lady.How to do this?
Ballpipe has such an indelible mark on my human meat brain that I am not sure what to do. Once, while at a lovely dinner at my boss' home, with her husband and two children (who are in their 20's) I was made to tell the tail of ballpipe. Much to my chagrin. But, just as my relationship with these people had to move on, so does this little journal. So I want to talk to you about pussy.
I parked my car in the lot and was rolling up my windows when I noticed her, an absolute vision, an avatar of the very goddess worshiped in the cult of womanhood. She was in her car, windows rolled down with the spring winds cooling her Artimisian body, and on her cellphone.
She was screaming
About her pussy.
To a very large and very captive audience. A dozen people. Standing outside looking and smiling, on their cigarette break but not smoking.
You see, when you sleep with someone else's boyfriend without knowing it you are in a very bad position. How were you to know, you were just getting your rocks off. You were slighted woman, lady. You and the girlfriend should get together to beat the shit out of that boyfriend of hers to teach him to sleep around.
But that is not what you did.
"Ya bitch, i knew he was your boyfriend. But that was after he licked my pussy. That was after he fucked my pussy."
This is a familiar strategy, used not just in dealing with the girlfriend of the man you just had sex with, but used also in martial combat.
Ghengis Khan called it his Chou She Yu or "Strategy of the dragon's thousand sun pussy"
It was immortalized by the poet John Keats with his seminal "Ode to a Grecian Urn of Pussy"
And now, the loving arms of momma pussy have again aided her children. By giving me something to talk about other than some very soar testicles.
good night
Ballpipe has such an indelible mark on my human meat brain that I am not sure what to do. Once, while at a lovely dinner at my boss' home, with her husband and two children (who are in their 20's) I was made to tell the tail of ballpipe. Much to my chagrin. But, just as my relationship with these people had to move on, so does this little journal. So I want to talk to you about pussy.
I parked my car in the lot and was rolling up my windows when I noticed her, an absolute vision, an avatar of the very goddess worshiped in the cult of womanhood. She was in her car, windows rolled down with the spring winds cooling her Artimisian body, and on her cellphone.
She was screaming
About her pussy.
To a very large and very captive audience. A dozen people. Standing outside looking and smiling, on their cigarette break but not smoking.
You see, when you sleep with someone else's boyfriend without knowing it you are in a very bad position. How were you to know, you were just getting your rocks off. You were slighted woman, lady. You and the girlfriend should get together to beat the shit out of that boyfriend of hers to teach him to sleep around.
But that is not what you did.
"Ya bitch, i knew he was your boyfriend. But that was after he licked my pussy. That was after he fucked my pussy."
This is a familiar strategy, used not just in dealing with the girlfriend of the man you just had sex with, but used also in martial combat.
Ghengis Khan called it his Chou She Yu or "Strategy of the dragon's thousand sun pussy"
It was immortalized by the poet John Keats with his seminal "Ode to a Grecian Urn of Pussy"
And now, the loving arms of momma pussy have again aided her children. By giving me something to talk about other than some very soar testicles.
good night
fellyconnelly - 05/19/07 16:50
you are absolutely hilarious. Though there was no spittage of drink, I still am quite amused by your entries.
you are absolutely hilarious. Though there was no spittage of drink, I still am quite amused by your entries.
james even in sweet drunkeness, you are still amusingly poetic....