I've been slacking. lets just say my heart hasn't been into it. mostly been going out and taking pictures:




























...i can say that all these pictures of the cold, warm me. :P

im drunk, and spent. you bishes are on your own.

its xbox-live-wednesdays! you get nothin bishes!
cept these awful links:

just so i can say i didn't diverge,




my very first love:


in case you don't know what one is:


and on a more serious note:

little known fact about me:

first valentine ever given. to a girl.
her name was danielle, we were in the third grade. i made it the night before and spilled cologne on it, like i saw in the old old spice commercials on tv. the cologne made it so i couldn't close the envelope and my mother could not find the regular tape. we used black electrical tape.

shit you not.
1st one.

song of the day:
in dreams, by roy orbison.

A candy-colored clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper
Go to sleep. everything is all right.

I close my eyes, then I drift away
Into the magic night. I softly say
A silent prayerlike dreamers do.
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you.

In dreams I walk with you. in dreams I talk to you.
In dreams youre mine. all of the time were together
In dreams, in dreams.

But just before the dawn, I awake and find you gone.
I can't help it, I can't help it, if I cry.
I remember that you said goodbye.

Its too bad that all these things, can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams in beautiful dreams.

okay, so what if i got a little off track with the origins or romantic love?! today i plan on getting back to task by working through the mystery as to what started my most hated day.

the athens month of Gamelion (what would be between our current calandars mid-january to mid-february) held the celebration of Lupercalia. Mestrius Plutarchus, a greek historian (rome, 4th century b.c.) has written this of the holiday in one of his Parallel Lives works (re: julius cesear):

"...There was added to these causes of offense his insult to the tribunes. It was, namely, the festival of the Lupercalia, of which many write that it was anciently celebrated by shepherds, and has also some connection with the Arcadian Lycaea. At this time many of the noble youths and of the magistrates run up and down through the city naked, for sport and laughter striking those they meet with shaggy thongs. And many women of rank also purposely get in their way, and like children at school present their hands to be struck, believing that the pregnant will thus be helped to an it is delivery, and the barren to pregnancy..."



the Christian account of said holiday seems rather different, however. instead of a rite of fertility, it was more of a marriage lotto:

"...The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this cruel practice, the early church fathers sought to end this practice... They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier..."

one of several valentines to be sainted for his loyalty to the church and beliefs, this particular valentine was martyred for his resolve against an edict made by Roman Emperor Claudius-II banning marriage among the young men of rome. valentine considered it vain egotistical political maneuvering and married lovers in secret during these times, bestowing upon them the "sacrament of matrimony".

when claudius recieved news of this, he had valentine arrested. impressed with his dignity, conviction, and serenity; claudius attempted to convert him to follow the roman gods, and thus saving him from execution. instead, valentine in turn attempted to convert him to christianity. this did not go over so well. he was sentenced to death, and put away.

while awaiting his end, he fell in love with the jailors (asterius) blind daughter. apparently, he healed her of blindness (miracles being one of the requirements to be sainted). afterwards he wrote her a goodbye love-letter, thought and said to be the first valentine, before being put to death.

as with most martyrs and rome, the story was later sublimated into popular roman culture as christianity rose- replacing Lupercalia on the very same day, trading the marriage lotto to more of a single serv-pot-luck.



Song of the Day:
Paper Bag, by Miss Apple:

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love