I was just looking over on LJ when I came across a journal that I haven't read in over a year. This author was once on my friends list a long while back and took her self off for whatever reason. To be honest I'm not quite sure but from my guess it must seem weird to have a single guy on your friends list when you're with a guy for over 1.5 years and all of the rainbows and puppies are floating around your head. I guess at some level I was jealous and wished my life was so young and innocent, ect.

Well I cam across her blog today. Basically it stated on a early Jan entry that 2006 was a miserable year, she got engagged and it fell apart and her life was karmically bad last year.

For some reason I got some satisfaction out of reading about her troubles. Then I realized that I don't know anyone who is happy that gets joy out of someone elses misery.

Yea, I felt like a total asshole.

In the grand scheme of things I donb't think it would have mattered much, except for the fact that she was one of the first journals I stumbled across on LJ about 4 years ago.

It's insane how you can measure someone's life from their blog if they keep it up consistently.

I have come to terms with my bad initial reaction and now have some empathy...

But Damn, Where did that nasty inital reaction come from?

I hope I'm not really an asshat deep down inside :-/

It was a interesting game last night. I ended up going with my Allentown friend last night and had a descent time. The Leafs pulled out a moral victory over a tired Sabres team that just hit E on the gas tank. All I can say is I love the seats that I do get get from time to time. There's nothing like people watching in the 200 level and watching the Lexus Shootout live.

So after droping off my friend and stopping by spot to grab a decaf tea for the ride home I find myself awake at 4am this morning. I had a really bad nightmare.

It started out in my friend Tom's '94 Dodge Caravan and I think we had another friend of ours in the backseat. We were someplace warm and the windows were open. I noticed a car of three women about 19 or so in a Honda Civic next to us on a gravel parking strip. They were singing to the top of their lungs some really braindead pop song about love & relationships in the bubble gum drama type of way. I turned to Tom and said, "They actually take that shit seriously!" As I said that an beefy in an athletic way Italian woman cop comes out of a convience store across the street and says something along of the lines of "You boys better watch it!" We speed out of there, make a right and a left and come to a dead end street with what looked like a washed out road. We hit the brakes and skid on this white sea shell Florida beach type of roadway.

Our momentum keeps going as we skid and then teeter on the ledge of the end of this sudden dead end street. Then we fall over rear over front and fall into this small beach and then the water. As we are falling I am just thinkg, "This is what I get for not driving myself and leaving it up to someone else." Then after I brace myself for the impact I felt my head bump the ceiling. As I then feel the water rush into the van I can't find the seatbelt to get out and I just think to myself, "So this is how it ends? My parents are really going to love getting this call of their other kid dying in the passenger seat."

I obviously woke up at that moment and in a blury daze checked my email on my phone to read (e:carolinian) and his comment that he left me on my previous journal.

So all I can take from this dream is just my subconscious is telling me to take charge in some way. The falling and drowning I'll have to look up I suppose. But Yea, I pretty disturbing dream sequence I never had or remember a falling and drowning dream before.

With the team's sucess I haven't been able to get as many tickets as I have in the past. So when I end up going to the game against my native Toronto Maple Leafs on Thursday it may be the only game that I end up attending. So with that in mind the other ticket that I possess became quite a stressful problem. So in regards to my nature of being someone who thinks way too much I ended up doing something that probaly should not have done.

So I ended up posting a CL ad to see if there were any takers for a guy with a extra 200 level ticket. Well the responses I got freaked me out. I consider myself about above average in regards to attractiveness but I was shocked to see what kind of pepple resonded and what they had in mind for me. Talk about leverage and parlaying material things into an interesting date. It made me think of that Good Charlotte lyric, "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money..."

Damn

I am taking a friend of mine that I owe a favor/makeup event for having to bail on her back in October during that snow hurricane.

Now my only problem is not getting too depressed as Toronto gets beat for the upteenth time @ HSBC ;-/

I was bored today @ work and I was basically trolling around the Buffalo CL and came across this What really hit home was

[box]4) Most people there, have been there, for a very, very long time, and yet, they are afraid of "commitments". When it comes to people on Match.com, the ones who are there for what seems like an eternity, there is reasoning you need to be aware of. First of all, there are far too many people on the site who simply do not have the TIME to devote to serious dating or serious relationships. They know this, and yet, they continue to troll around on Match, having the occasional interaction that usually leads no where. For them, this is the 'best' they can do as far as 'dating' goes. For them, it's not the same as being 'single', and, it's all an illusion they are very comfortable being a part of. Next we have the ones who are never happy with anyone. These people will talk to and make dates with several people at one time. They will keep a 'line up' of potential mates going at all times, so that they are forever 'upgrading' and keeping themselves in the 'life is too short to settle' scenario. Sadly, what happens with all these people, is none of their dates pan out, and they wind up being on the site longer than any other people. Some of them are probably eligible for free lifetime memberships.[/box]

Basically I was thinking that sometime soon I just should settle down and take a "full court press" in getting myself married, again. The last time I got into this mindset I found myself in a bit of trouble. Well actually it wasn't too bad until the skeletons started flying out of her ass.

Seriously, I'm starting to realize that I just don't want to be some single zombie walking through life messing with someone here and there when it is convient for me. There are two imprints that are fueling this round of me thinking to myself, "Maybe Eharmony is a good idea kind of logic." The first being that I am currently surrounded by 3 pregnant women at work, 19, 24 and 30 all of them on their 2 or 3rd kid. Then there is this 31 year old that has been after me ever since her "boyfriend" loose term there was fired about 7 months ago. Now she is a nice person but in terms of life made me realize that I'm really not all that inadequate. Yes, there are many things that am not even close to being on par with most societal norms and expectations, but I'm not pathetic. Although I did get a jabbing from my shift manager today about: being younger, married, making more money, owning 3 houses, having 2 kids, ect... Although I am pretty sure he was setting me up in getting me to buy his 2nd house on Grand Island.

The kicker today was when I stopped by the Orange Cat I overhead a conversation these two guys were having about relationships. The short of it was they were discussing if it was prudent for this guy to continue in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him [she's 45, he's 35] if he wanted a shot at having kids. The older guys basically told the younger guy to just take the person at face value and ignore everything else. To me that's a tough one. Everyone has some kind of criteria and basic standards. Although it seems that every guy in every part of the country wants that skinny 20 year old, no matter what he looks like or is as a person, women have their own hangups in their own ways. The lifetime members to match.com are equally split down both genders, there is no right or wrong.

My own personal question is: What is in my head that has kept me single for a whiile now?

Being that most of my friends still think I'm out in Vegas I had no plans last night. So when my Ex called and expressed an interest in doing something I jumped at the opportunity. In discussing on where to go we decided upon Faherty's, since she hates Allen St. It was the first time in the place for me and to be honest I really didn't feel it. Other than having Stella on tap and the impression of the bartenders knowing how to mix a mean drink [saw this one bartender mix a bad ass long island ice tea] I'm not sure I can get into that place. If it was warmer and the garage doors were open or if we had arrived earlier when a game was on it may have been different. Then again I was craving the Pink last night but couldn't get down there due to my deal. I swear I'm a better boyfriend when we are not together then I was when we actually were a couple.

The highlight of the night was actually towards then end. After we decided to leave I just had to get a jumbo dog from Louies. As we were waiting for our late night fuel I noticed a mid-ninties town car pull up and a distinguished gentleman make his way inside Louies. It was Lance Diamond and he ended up sitting next to up up front in the row of stools in the front window. Naturally he was in good spirits, and we had quite a good conversation about his gigs. Since I work with his sister we discussed the casino and the shows that he plays there on Friday's. The sore subject on how screwed up that place is and how they set him up for failure in those Wednesday shows @ Hush came into being. I did laugh at his smooth talk at my ex L* in trying to get us back together, but Lance it is not happening for a reason! Still it was the best part of the night was to hang out with him. Now if I knew he was playing last night I would have hit the Elmwood Lounge instead of Faherty's when I was exploring thing to do.

When I DRVed Jimmy Kimmel the other night I ended up recording the new show "In Case of Emergency" I must say it is some pretty funny, interesting stuff hitting home. John Favreau directed the piolt and for some reason I am always going to love that guy just because of the movie "Swingers." If you ever want to know why people should wait at least a couple of days before calling after getting the number just watch that one scene in that movie.