
[box]4) Most people there, have been there, for a very, very long time, and yet, they are afraid of "commitments". When it comes to people on Match.com, the ones who are there for what seems like an eternity, there is reasoning you need to be aware of. First of all, there are far too many people on the site who simply do not have the TIME to devote to serious dating or serious relationships. They know this, and yet, they continue to troll around on Match, having the occasional interaction that usually leads no where. For them, this is the 'best' they can do as far as 'dating' goes. For them, it's not the same as being 'single', and, it's all an illusion they are very comfortable being a part of. Next we have the ones who are never happy with anyone. These people will talk to and make dates with several people at one time. They will keep a 'line up' of potential mates going at all times, so that they are forever 'upgrading' and keeping themselves in the 'life is too short to settle' scenario. Sadly, what happens with all these people, is none of their dates pan out, and they wind up being on the site longer than any other people. Some of them are probably eligible for free lifetime memberships.[/box]
Basically I was thinking that sometime soon I just should settle down and take a "full court press" in getting myself married, again. The last time I got into this mindset I found myself in a bit of trouble. Well actually it wasn't too bad until the skeletons started flying out of her ass.
Seriously, I'm starting to realize that I just don't want to be some single zombie walking through life messing with someone here and there when it is convient for me. There are two imprints that are fueling this round of me thinking to myself, "Maybe Eharmony is a good idea kind of logic." The first being that I am currently surrounded by 3 pregnant women at work, 19, 24 and 30 all of them on their 2 or 3rd kid. Then there is this 31 year old that has been after me ever since her "boyfriend" loose term there was fired about 7 months ago. Now she is a nice person but in terms of life made me realize that I'm really not all that inadequate. Yes, there are many things that am not even close to being on par with most societal norms and expectations, but I'm not pathetic. Although I did get a jabbing from my shift manager today about: being younger, married, making more money, owning 3 houses, having 2 kids, ect... Although I am pretty sure he was setting me up in getting me to buy his 2nd house on Grand Island.
The kicker today was when I stopped by the Orange Cat I overhead a conversation these two guys were having about relationships. The short of it was they were discussing if it was prudent for this guy to continue in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him [she's 45, he's 35] if he wanted a shot at having kids. The older guys basically told the younger guy to just take the person at face value and ignore everything else. To me that's a tough one. Everyone has some kind of criteria and basic standards. Although it seems that every guy in every part of the country wants that skinny 20 year old, no matter what he looks like or is as a person, women have their own hangups in their own ways. The lifetime members to match.com are equally split down both genders, there is no right or wrong.
My own personal question is: What is in my head that has kept me single for a whiile now?
Random thoughts on your post.
I feel pretty much the same way you do. I'm 30, and it sometimes feels like I'm in marathon race where everyone's already crossed the finish line into the world of marriage and kids and meanwhile I'm I across town on an errand to get a new pair of running shoes.
I'm trying the best I can to tell myself that the good that comes from this is that I can take my time to enjoy sightseeing along the racecourse while the other guys huffed and puffed oblivious to everything and collapsed into a coma once the reached their destination.
In regards to e-harmony, give it a try. The ads on TV are hokey and the founder Dr. whoever is preachy, but the idea of matching people up using a somewhat sound personality test is a legitimate idea and I met the most compatible person I've dated in this way.
And honestly, I envy your success with your messings around. I've never been able to pick up a woman in any setting, let alone in New York City bar like you did.
You've hinted that you're waiting longer to get married this time around is because that you've learned from the mistakes of the past. You should really listen to yourself in that regard.
And finally, in the world of TV (and estrip as well), membership in a world of a bunch of neurotic unmarried 30-somethings (Friends, Seinfeld, Sex In The City) is quite common, and given how popular these shows are, at least some married people think that we're really cool.
(And yes, I do think that estrip probably could be turned into a successful sitcom.)