just so you are all prepared, this may be my main stressor over the next few months (alright, 3 years). It's not like I want it to be, but I am sure you can all relate one way or another!


So, even though danny and I are not going to get married till 2009, people are already annoying the fuck out of me about the plans of the wedding day, my engagement ring and the type of dress i want to wear and the people in my wedding party, etc. So, I am going on record to say that: the way americans think about a new marriage in the works is really fucked up. Everyone is so fixated on the things that should matter the least....monetary things that don't really mean much in the grand scheme of things.

Don't get me wrong, I love the thought of having a beautiful wedding day to celebrate danny and I beginning the marriage, but I just don't get what it is about people and being obsessed with the wedding. Shouldn't it be more about what the day represents opposed to what the colors are or how huge the diamond is? It's so superficial and a bit upsetting.

I guess my ideal response from others when they here we are getting married would be along the lines of this: "Wow, congrats! That is so wonderful...you and danny are great for eachother....I wish you the best in the future....and despite trying times that may come...I know you guys will work things out."

Instead of an engagement solely being dependant on one day (the wedding) it should represent the meaning behind why people get engaged.This may seem like a basic concept, but people don't think about the grand scheme of things when an engagement happens. PEOPLE! IT IS NOT ABOUT ONE DAY.....So, with that in mind, i am excited about the day and want it to be perfect (I mean, don't we all)....but we are all way too wrapped up on this whole wedding day concept.

Yea, so I think my mom is "surprising" me by taking me to the wedding expo this weekend. I am not sure, but she keeps dropping little hints about it....I mean, it's a cute gesture, but it's a little overwhelming. 2009 is still a ways away, and I don't want to get wrapped up in the plans too soon.

For those that care....All I have for the moment is:
-I would rather elope than have to deal with this whole mumble jumble
-fall or early winter wedding
-pink (any shade) must be one of my colors (i would like 3 colors)
-I would like to have my wedding here in buffalo
-if I want everyone I want in my wedding party, my wedding party would be about 100 people (obviously not possible)
-wedding is going to be huge thanks to our lovely large families
-danny's mom may be too much for me to handle at times (but i am sure it will work out)
-and my diamond ring is already broken (2 prongs broke off).... which bums me out big time....so I am sending it back to the jewelers and we are going to just get a whole new ring....


so don't ask anymore questions. it is just too much. thanks...



In other news: I hate to say it, but I kinda miss home (las vegas)....I am ready to be back in my own bed in my apartment with my puggies and danny. It's a good thing.

sophia is the most amazing puggy in the world. i love her sooooo much.

And i went to the doctor today....i have a sinus infection. cool.

so, thank you paul matt and terry! I love your new home, and I had a lot of fun with oregami and getting drunk with fun people....what a great night.

it was also night to meet some of the people who I have been reading about for years now....yay!

Well, its 2007. That's nuts. really. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE...


(e:lilho) : I had so much fun! I am glad we got to spend new years with eachother....im glad we are still such good friends after all we have been through....FRIENDS FOR LIFE MF'ER.

life has a really funny of working out....as shitty as things may become...what goes around goes around. it's such a lovely thing. hence the reason why you should always be trustful, loyal and truthful....because it will come back and bite you in the ass....

....in other news, im currently working at frizb's. good ol' frizb's! It has been a relatively slow day. I am outta here in less than an hour.

I am looking forward to the party tonight. I have been pretty sick so I am not sure how long I will last....but I certainly am excited to go!!!!!!!!!

but new years is a weird holiday....it is kind of depressing....and happiness all rolled into one state of mind. One more year down the tubes...and one more year to add to the number....but it is also a matter of new and exciting things to come.... i mean, it's 2007....that is kind of exciting. I remember as a kid thinking about living into the 2000's....and how futuristic it would be....but i guess it's not that different. I just have a lot more lipgloss now. which is a wonderful thing.

well....it's a surreal experience. I wait and anticipate for months on end. I get really excited and plan to stay here for my entire vacation because I think I will need all of this time to hang out with old friends and family I haven't seen in a while....

...but the truth is, I get here, and there is nothing to be done. No one lives here anymore, and those who do have lives going on outside of waiting for their old friends to come back. Last night it hit me hard... I called an old friend who has always been there to hang out whenever...but this time, this friend was totally abrupt with me and had told me that they went to this party that we had planned to go to together.... without me because they thought it was the best thing to do "in this situation" (to complex to explain). I guess I was hurt a bit. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

I have always been really independent since I was a child. When I left buffalo 5 years ago to start school in Plattsburgh, I was sad, but knew it was best for me...and it was....but that was the beginning of me losing touch with home. Now that I live on the other side of the world and that I have sort of a real life there, when I come home, I kinda just sit here and wait....for something to happen.

I guess home will never be the same.

So buffalo will always be my home....but I don't think I will ever feel at home again here....and I certainly don't feel at home any place else....I guess you could say I am homeless at the moment. I have a great place in Las Vegas and I actually like it, but its not some place that I take seriously outside of school and this temporary residency.


Maybe I am foolish for wanting to move back to buffalo when all else is said and done....I mean, i have been home for about a week and am already sick. I haven't been sick in months. None of my friends live here anymore, and even if they did, what do we have in common? Besides, other than working at Roswell (which would be awesome) what the hell would I do with my career?

And putting myself aside, what would danny do? I know for sure he doesn't want to live here....but I have been pleaing with him for months now....maybe I should stop.


Uncertainty is a good thing, but also a thing that puts that lump in your throat....I am defnitely feeling the lump.

Hello everyone! I got a lovely email from paul regarding e strip and all the new updates and shit....and i thought, damn, I haven't written in a long while....hence the reason why I am writing again....so I hope everyone is doing great....and I will try to post more often.


....so, things have been good....Las Vegas is actually going well. I love my graduate program and am making some friends....my car is finally fixed (danny totalled it after 5 days of having it....and I was without it then for 6 weeks) and looks just as new as it did when i bought it brand new....so I am very happy about that....

....danny and i got engaged for christmas, so that is wonderful. I am really excited about the future...but promise not to be a bridezilla like my mom is predicting I will be....

I am home now for the holidays. It is good to be back, but it makes me realize how much I love having my new life....its not like I love las vegas or plan to live there longer than I have to, but I like where I am in life....I really can't complain...school is good...the puppies are good...the job is good....danny and I are good.....so life is good.

I got some great gifts for christmas such as:
-the hello kitty ipod dock stereo
-tons of chanel perfum
-tons and tons of makeup (smashbox, lancome, clinique, etc)
-hello kitty humidifier (which I really wanted)
-wedding planner (kinda scary, but a great gift)
-a diamond...of course, the mother of all gifts


I hope everyone got what they asked santa for!




I plan on going to the new years party at the mansion with (e:lilho)... hope to see you all there! We might dress up very pretty!