anyone ever wake up so hard, it hurt? like your entire body trembles, just from the simple act of getting up in the morning? thats how i feel about now. really, painfully, tired.hopefully, i wont have to drive anywhere far away today- cause mr. sandman handed me a bag of bricks to carry this morning.
seriously painful awakening. more and more often every day.
im sure ill be fine by about 9am.
have a good morning, estrip.
Vycious's Journal
My Podcast Link
12/13/2006 06:25 #37216
sleep pains...Category: sleep
12/11/2006 16:56 #37215
somebody has a case of the mondays....Category: indentured servitude
i woke up this morning and my phone was unplugged. this must be the 4th or 5th time my cat, yoda, had knocked over the answering machine and pulled the cords out.
no more than 20 minutes after i plug the phone in and finish my shower, i get a call from my boss telling me that i didn't have that floating holiday i thought i used to take off the day after enknots party. that, and even tho i was told not to come in until tuesday, they had been trying to reach me all day to get me to go out to syracuse for a pickup. long story short- my boss is going to have to cut a sales meeting in rochester short, tomorrow, to do that pickup they needed today from syracuse. so he is picking me up from my apt at 6am, so i can go to pittsburgh to drop off some work we received from them for the weekend.
im trying to look dependable here, and even tho im sure little blame can be placed on me for the past two days of poor administrative planning, its hard not to feel like these people can feel vindicated about an image of ineptitude on my part.
man, I've only been awake for an hour at the most, and today is already rough. soon enough they will issue me a cell phone. i can only wonder how much excessive flack will be expected for me to address in the future. this makes me wonder if the almost 20% pay hike I've been promised is even worth it. I've been there three years and even tho i just received this double promotion, it just dosent seem enough, sometimes.
whats worse, is finding a job with my current is close to impossible. im hardly ever in the city during the workday- as im out of town doing deliveries... or when i am in town, i am too occupied with my duties to do anything other than my job.
originally i had planned on going to the dept of labor (unemployment), to see if they could look for jobs for me, since i wouldnt have much time to dedicate in my sometimes 14-hour-work-day to do so. now what am i supposed to do? im beginning to feel like im an indentured servant here. is this paranoia? can i get some advise or support here? work always seems to bring out the anxiety in me.
on another note, yes, i had a great time at enknots party. i wouldnt trade those memories (or lack thereov), for any amount of credit i would get at work for being a mind reader.
no more than 20 minutes after i plug the phone in and finish my shower, i get a call from my boss telling me that i didn't have that floating holiday i thought i used to take off the day after enknots party. that, and even tho i was told not to come in until tuesday, they had been trying to reach me all day to get me to go out to syracuse for a pickup. long story short- my boss is going to have to cut a sales meeting in rochester short, tomorrow, to do that pickup they needed today from syracuse. so he is picking me up from my apt at 6am, so i can go to pittsburgh to drop off some work we received from them for the weekend.
im trying to look dependable here, and even tho im sure little blame can be placed on me for the past two days of poor administrative planning, its hard not to feel like these people can feel vindicated about an image of ineptitude on my part.
man, I've only been awake for an hour at the most, and today is already rough. soon enough they will issue me a cell phone. i can only wonder how much excessive flack will be expected for me to address in the future. this makes me wonder if the almost 20% pay hike I've been promised is even worth it. I've been there three years and even tho i just received this double promotion, it just dosent seem enough, sometimes.
whats worse, is finding a job with my current is close to impossible. im hardly ever in the city during the workday- as im out of town doing deliveries... or when i am in town, i am too occupied with my duties to do anything other than my job.
originally i had planned on going to the dept of labor (unemployment), to see if they could look for jobs for me, since i wouldnt have much time to dedicate in my sometimes 14-hour-work-day to do so. now what am i supposed to do? im beginning to feel like im an indentured servant here. is this paranoia? can i get some advise or support here? work always seems to bring out the anxiety in me.
on another note, yes, i had a great time at enknots party. i wouldnt trade those memories (or lack thereov), for any amount of credit i would get at work for being a mind reader.
vincent - 12/12/06 00:18
I hear you on the job thing. To be honest this is what I have done in case of emergency. Just in case I have to abandon ship I registered myself with a few temp agencies in town. With the possibility of doing some shit b.s. job for a short period of time just to have some cash flow. So if the time case I could just call them up the next day and say "I'm available, I'll take that for 3 or 4 days a week." The logic being that hopefully I'll have a soft landing with being in a position to earn just enough to pay for my C.O.B.R.A. until I find something else.
I hear you on the job thing. To be honest this is what I have done in case of emergency. Just in case I have to abandon ship I registered myself with a few temp agencies in town. With the possibility of doing some shit b.s. job for a short period of time just to have some cash flow. So if the time case I could just call them up the next day and say "I'm available, I'll take that for 3 or 4 days a week." The logic being that hopefully I'll have a soft landing with being in a position to earn just enough to pay for my C.O.B.R.A. until I find something else.
theecarey - 12/11/06 21:40
If you feel like your work 'owns' you and you find yourself with no time for anything but work, and you are not feeling good about being there, then yeh, its a good indicator of needing to figure out your next step.
There are choices out there.
I agree with Joshua, that what you do isnt who you are. But I am betting that right now with all the time you spend at work and all the time that you think about work (and now that they will be issuing you a cell phone.."ummm, yeh, about those TPS reports..") what you DO is who you are (not that you want that)-- Now a 'floating holiday' snagged back on a weekend, compounded by administrative ineptitude (not yours) and any slew of other BS-- jeez,feeling empty, friend?
I know the work induced anxiety feeling--however it gives me the fuel to figure out what I want/need from a job and what is needed to have balance in life. Embrace it. Use it to keep you from becoming complacent. Use it to find better-- not parallel-- but *better*. A sucky work schedule makes it close to impossible to do the enjoyable things outside of work. The very things that make less than ideal work bearable. It doesnt sound like you have a 9-5er that leaves your evenings and weekends free to unwind, to where you could find balance.
Form a plan- Determine what it is that you want. How long can you maintain your sanity at this job? Do you have any negotiating power--as in, can you set limits/standards of expectations?
I am sure you have got bills to pay and you dont want to jump ship without knowing what you are doing next. Do you have any sick time? Any days that you can force your schedule to fit in some job search/interviews? Or perhaps you can stash away your cash and build up enough to live a few weeks or more off of? Online search agents? DOL may have one as well. Network ad tell every one you know what kind of work you are looking for..
You'll better when you feel like you are in control again.
Promotions sometimes dont have the pay off in the way that we expect them too..
ok. i have said enough, already.
If you feel like your work 'owns' you and you find yourself with no time for anything but work, and you are not feeling good about being there, then yeh, its a good indicator of needing to figure out your next step.
There are choices out there.
I agree with Joshua, that what you do isnt who you are. But I am betting that right now with all the time you spend at work and all the time that you think about work (and now that they will be issuing you a cell phone.."ummm, yeh, about those TPS reports..") what you DO is who you are (not that you want that)-- Now a 'floating holiday' snagged back on a weekend, compounded by administrative ineptitude (not yours) and any slew of other BS-- jeez,feeling empty, friend?
I know the work induced anxiety feeling--however it gives me the fuel to figure out what I want/need from a job and what is needed to have balance in life. Embrace it. Use it to keep you from becoming complacent. Use it to find better-- not parallel-- but *better*. A sucky work schedule makes it close to impossible to do the enjoyable things outside of work. The very things that make less than ideal work bearable. It doesnt sound like you have a 9-5er that leaves your evenings and weekends free to unwind, to where you could find balance.
Form a plan- Determine what it is that you want. How long can you maintain your sanity at this job? Do you have any negotiating power--as in, can you set limits/standards of expectations?
I am sure you have got bills to pay and you dont want to jump ship without knowing what you are doing next. Do you have any sick time? Any days that you can force your schedule to fit in some job search/interviews? Or perhaps you can stash away your cash and build up enough to live a few weeks or more off of? Online search agents? DOL may have one as well. Network ad tell every one you know what kind of work you are looking for..
You'll better when you feel like you are in control again.
Promotions sometimes dont have the pay off in the way that we expect them too..
ok. i have said enough, already.
joshua - 12/11/06 20:45
They are the ones responsible for scheduling? If so, they are responsible for cleaning up the mess if an employee is not reachable. And how is it that you had a floating holiday then suddenly didn't?
In all honesty, it sounds like they were the ones that planned poorly and you can hardly be blamed for that. It is absolutely impossible for them to lay blame on you based on the facts as I've read them.
As for the rest of your journal - you are stressed, my gawd! I know exactly what you mean about your job, TRUST ME. My only bit of advice is that you shouldn't let your work twist you up like this - ultimately working is just a means to an end and while its always important to think about progression, a 'career,' etc. I've always thought that what you do isn't who you are. And if what you do IS who you are... then that kind of person leads an empty life.
Do what you need to do and try to find ways to enjoy yourself along the way.
They are the ones responsible for scheduling? If so, they are responsible for cleaning up the mess if an employee is not reachable. And how is it that you had a floating holiday then suddenly didn't?
In all honesty, it sounds like they were the ones that planned poorly and you can hardly be blamed for that. It is absolutely impossible for them to lay blame on you based on the facts as I've read them.
As for the rest of your journal - you are stressed, my gawd! I know exactly what you mean about your job, TRUST ME. My only bit of advice is that you shouldn't let your work twist you up like this - ultimately working is just a means to an end and while its always important to think about progression, a 'career,' etc. I've always thought that what you do isn't who you are. And if what you do IS who you are... then that kind of person leads an empty life.
Do what you need to do and try to find ways to enjoy yourself along the way.
12/06/2006 18:48 #37214
GAH!Category: yoda
i just got up from switching my laundry to find that yoda has destroyed yet another set of nice headphones.
now, i have to go to walgreens to buy some new ones. again. fucking cats.
now, i have to go to walgreens to buy some new ones. again. fucking cats.
11/29/2006 21:10 #37213
worse... or better?Category: worse or better?
open rejection, or feigned interest?
oh yeah, and I've been told im getting promoted.
oh yeah, and I've been told im getting promoted.
jenks - 11/30/06 13:36
Yeah I agree too. Sure it hurts/sucks to be rejected, but I think it's infinitely preferable to know, than to wonder/agonize.
Yeah I agree too. Sure it hurts/sucks to be rejected, but I think it's infinitely preferable to know, than to wonder/agonize.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/30/06 13:08
open rejection dude....if you are talking about a chick....the worse thing in the world is to waste time and energy on a girl who you think likes you when in all reality she is just bored or killing time. I prefer to get the rejection out of the way early, kind of like my mother did to me right after I was born.
open rejection dude....if you are talking about a chick....the worse thing in the world is to waste time and energy on a girl who you think likes you when in all reality she is just bored or killing time. I prefer to get the rejection out of the way early, kind of like my mother did to me right after I was born.
mrmike - 11/29/06 21:41
I concur
I concur
joshua - 11/29/06 21:32
Open rejection, absolutely, 100%.
Its better to know bad news than to not know, stew about it, wonder, hope, etc. Its not the easiest way but its the best way.
Open rejection, absolutely, 100%.
Its better to know bad news than to not know, stew about it, wonder, hope, etc. Its not the easiest way but its the best way.
11/21/2006 16:56 #37212
How to settle a grudge, the vycious way.having problems with fellow (e:strip)pers?! winter grays got you down? cabin fever making you want to eat your neighbor? well, (e:vycious) has the solution for YOU! just follow these easy to... er, follow, instructions and you too can become a expeditious mitigator of disputes over ever-so-important issues such as:
1. testosteroned hoopla!
2. estrogened ballyhooing!
3. pheremonal mis-appropriation!
how is this possible?!
first. both parties must gather a good 5-10 friends each to a large, relatively non-cluttered region. enknot can back me up on this by endorsing the local ymca with his dodge-ball league.
second. both parties involved in dispute must drink, in advance and under supervision by chosen individual of opposed party, a gallon of water an hour for 3 hours. conflicted parties may urinate for first hour, only.
thirdly. parties assemble friends around them as a circle in chosen area, numbering as one party, then other, around entire circle- so to keep the cirle unbiased.
finally. tickle-death-match, thunderdrome style. done in sections of 15 minutes, with drinking breaks between. first to urinate loses. winner leaves with dry pants, and the whole of the pissing contest will have run its course, sans wasted time.
1. testosteroned hoopla!
2. estrogened ballyhooing!
3. pheremonal mis-appropriation!
how is this possible?!
first. both parties must gather a good 5-10 friends each to a large, relatively non-cluttered region. enknot can back me up on this by endorsing the local ymca with his dodge-ball league.
second. both parties involved in dispute must drink, in advance and under supervision by chosen individual of opposed party, a gallon of water an hour for 3 hours. conflicted parties may urinate for first hour, only.
thirdly. parties assemble friends around them as a circle in chosen area, numbering as one party, then other, around entire circle- so to keep the cirle unbiased.
finally. tickle-death-match, thunderdrome style. done in sections of 15 minutes, with drinking breaks between. first to urinate loses. winner leaves with dry pants, and the whole of the pissing contest will have run its course, sans wasted time.
mrmike - 11/21/06 22:49
Two dorks enter, one dork leaves.......
Two dorks enter, one dork leaves.......
metalpeter - 11/21/06 19:31
1 Gallon of water in an hour. There is no way I could put away that much water in that amount of time even if it was ice cold and then do it two more times, that is insane.
1 Gallon of water in an hour. There is no way I could put away that much water in that amount of time even if it was ice cold and then do it two more times, that is insane.
jasoninbuffalo - 11/21/06 17:30
ha....I am all for the thunderdome style as long as I can have a midget on my shoulders too.....
ha....I am all for the thunderdome style as long as I can have a midget on my shoulders too.....
Oh, Yea I have been there many times. You know it's like Shaq is palming your frontal lobes and your joints jus ache.
The only way to beat that is to stay in bed until 11.
BTW add me on your myspace. I just love your backround pic overlooking the bar @ Club Diablo. That is so kick ass!
are you eating something right before bed? If I eat someting (particularly sugar) before bed i wake up with a jolt, and feel very Blah in the morning
"anyone ever wake up so hard, it hurt?" hahaha. I totally misinterpreted that one at first.