I felt like such an outsider peering in at a science experiment.
[inlink]paul,3250[/inlink]
It's so weird you put it like that. Yesterday morning I tuned into the public transphere audio stream and after listening for a bit I was poised to "submit a live Question to the participants." (I just can't resist trying every damn thing
(e:Paul) makes no matter how much I might say otherwise. I guess I'm as full of sh!t about the reasons I won't do things as he is about the reasons he does do things.) Anyway, even as I was phrasing my question and thinking it might seem cool to get one from the west coast in real time, this feeling that keeps coming up lately hit me like a ton of bricks. What the hell am I doing here?
The feeling of connection [inlink]ajay,335[/inlink]is great. But did I have to connect to a community that physically exists 2,675 miles away? That just seems stupid.
Ok, so a virtual community doesn't have to exist in the same physical space or time (zone). Still, the original intention of
(e:strip) was "to counteract the negative effects on local community that have resulted from a move toward the globalization of communication via the internet." Ouch. There's that ton of bricks again. Not because it clearly puts me out of bounds, but because I completely agree with it. That statement kept me from joining for about a week(?) until I finally embraced some really good advice someone happened to throw my way right then. Don't say "no" to yourself.
I don't really expect any of you hedonists to get that, but it was pretty radical for me. And it fit in with a realization I'd recently had myself, which is really the point of this post (Finally! you say) - I'd rather regret having
done something than regret
not having done it.
Well, I wish I could wrap this up into a nice life-affirming platitude of some kind, but I still really don't know what it means. If I figure it out, you will of course be the first to know.
Oh yeah, one more thing -
Seeing an idea I originally had get done, and done better by someone else is an experience I've had many times. It always feels like the universe telling me how much I suck. Oh well. [inlink]paul,3252[/inlink]
I first read that in
(e:jafafahots)' journal. He should have hired some offshore programmers [inlink]paul,3222[/inlink] to put in the 5,475 [inlink]paul,3152[/inlink] hours it took to build the site. Oh wait,
(e:Paul) is cheaper. ;-)