For the next 5 weeks, I will be drowning in a sea of elementary education academia. You see, I have one of those 6 week course jobbies. The cool thing is, as of October 7th, it'll be over! The down side, a shit load of work. Yesterday, on the holiday, I literally did homework from 9:30 A.M. until 9:00 P.M. Granted, there were some sanity breaks, the likes of which went like this- me telling myself "Okay, once you finish this chapter, then you can go take a shower" and "Okay, once you finish this chapter, you can throw out the garbage and do the dishes!" Fun wow. It's really sad when you bargain with yourself to do the damn dishes and take a shower! Aren't those, like, necessities in life? I will get through this, I know I will, but damn, it really, REALLY hurts right now!

• (E:Peeps) confession* Friday, I was a little buzzed and went and bought the new Christina Aguilera C.D., okay, and her last one, too!

And because I didn't want the bored girls working at Circuit City to think that I listen to Christina Aguilera, I bought the new Keene! All of which, I LOVE by the way! And that is my (E:Peeps) comfession.

Ciao!

I had a fabulous, fun, and relaxing weekend, where I met new people, made new friends, and became incredibly attracted to a lovely man the second I saw him, which, honestly, has never really happened before. Anyway, I came home with an enormous sense of well-being and peace, which my job has been trying to suck out of me since I walked in the door Monday morning, and I am valiantly resisting. Ah, Brushwood. What a magical place! I can't wait to go back! (And no, for those of you in the know about Brushwood, I DID NOT walk around naked! That's not my scene!) ;)

So, that's kind of my new philosophy. Phuck it and Enjoy! I've spent so much of my life being prim and proper and not really taking any chance that I've sort of been letting my life pass me by as I sit in the rocking chair on my front porch working on my latest cross-stitch- like I'm 88 instead of 28! I don't know how good I'm going to be at this whole, new philosophy- totally unchartered territory, afterall- but there's so much to see and do and we never really know, well, anything!

I'm avoiding going to work. I technically start at 11 today but as I finished my 100 ques. exam in 25 minutes, I'm stalling for time. *Sigh* I'm convinced that working does, infact, get in the way of a really nice life. I'd much rather stay in the park, or take a page from our dear (e:ladycroft) and go sailing! (That is the thing that I've decided to learn to do once I get my teaching degree- somehow, someway!)

Fellow (e:peeps), have a peach of a day! And remember to Enjoy!

There is something that I have been pondering lately... the idea that we should have "no fear" and whether or not that is really a good thing?

I am addicted to Dove dark chocolate. On the inside of the little red, foil wrapper there is a little inspirational saying. Last week, I kept coming up with the "Be Fearless" one. While on the surface, it is a wise suggestion as fear is generally what holds individual's back, but when you really think about it, though, it's really a stupid idea. Fear is a very real emotion that does serve a purpose of self preservation. It becomes inhibiting when it kicks in over things like spiders, elevators, the dark, etc... and a person becomes so paralyzed he or she can barely move, think, or save one's self should the situation arise. (Believe it or not, the idea is much clearer and eloquent in my head... and the words I am chusing are not expressing it as I would wish, but I shall press on, regardless...) To have "no fear" is to let go of a very real and necessary physiological response that has helped humanity throughout our evolution. The real answer, in my opinion, is to not have "No Fear" but to have great courage, which is to recognize and acknowledge that the fear is there and then move past it, to do what needs to be done. Maybe I'm full of shit but it's my revelation and I'm sticking to it...

So, I say to all of you live your lives with Great Courage! ;)

Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just give in to the Pity Party. Feel bad, cry it out, berate yourself, and then, reality kicks back in and you can say, "I'm an AWESOME person!" and really believe it, because, afterall, it's true.

I do think, though, that when an optimist hits the doldrums, we can get into a deeper depression than the most dedicated pessimist. The trick is, though that rather than dwelling there interminably, we dust ourselves off and smile and say, "What a beautiful day!" and move on from there. At least, that's what I do because, Magically, everything works out for the best in the end. So very Panglossian, and so very, very true. Ciao! :)