I think it was Mike a few weeks back you wrote about how he had gone back and was re-reading all of his old posts and it had reminded him of things he had forgotten and then he urged us all to do the same. The past couple of days, I've sort of been taking his advice. I have always liked re-reading things I've written, whether it be personal or inane or fiction or fact. I enjoy it. I particularly enjoy reading personal things because it reminds me of a state of mind I was in during a particular moment or time of my life. I find old notebooks from highschool and college and smile at what I've written in the margins- song lyrics, quotes, stupid thoughts, doodles- I'm a really big fan of writing in the margins. It just reminds me of things that if they were important enough for me to write down, then they ought not be forgotten. In some cases, it even helps me to not Rose-tint the past, something I think most humans do. Sometimes it's better not to forget what happened and how I felt, in all it's ugly glory.

What also jumps out at me when I read those old posts is all of my spelling errors, usually leaping over words because I'm going so fast. My head said them, but my hands skipped right over them, and that makes me crazy! So, if I have time, I think I would like to back and correct all of those spelling and contextual errors. I guess it's just the teacher in me popping out.

So, as for those goals that I wrote down back in January, those that I was careful to say WERE NOT New Year's Resolutions, which they aren't, I realized that I'm coming along rather nicely on that list. Still working on the weight loss, but that's going to take a long time. Still trying to get Student Loans out of default- I was stupid in my youth, and now I am paying for it. But, I am happy to report that I *AM* actually buying a car! As I will be moving to Colden around the 1st of August, it no longer became a luxury to have a car, but a necessity and so, I bought a Silver Saturn Ion and I will be picking it up tomorrow afternoon! Actually, it seems rather surreal, and I am very glad, but along with that comes with everything else I have been dreading, it's like (God help me for ripping off "Spiderman", but here goes) with Freedom comes great responsibilty. All of the maintanence! But it shall be worth it. At least, it better be! However, I absolutely refuse to complain about the price of gas. In England, it's over $8 to the gallon! They trip you up by selling it in liters so it looks cheaper, but seriously- Eight Dollars! Yay! I finally bought a car!

Evolution doesn't stop, at least from the Anthropological, Historical, and Biological perspectives. We, in our Extreme arrogance, however, have assumed that we are the pinacle, the masterpiece, that humanity in all it's barbarous forms have reached the top and there's no going no further! (Ouch! That sentence just hurt my grammar, but I think you get the point) I think that educated and/or thinking people know that that isn't the truth, but the question becomes how do we truly leap forward when things that in the animal kingdom would have been rooted out just by being able to smell that something wasn't right, or by (dare I say it!) Darwin's Law of Survival of the Most Fit. If an animal couldn't survive, it wouldn't. If it Shouldn't survive, it wouldn't. In many instances, that is how we have outsmarted ourselves and I'm fairly certain slowed down considerably the process of Evolution. Or maybe we've just changed how we evolve, turning more to the cerebral than the physical need. In a few millenia, if we could travel to the future, would we even recognize ourselves?

I just realized something- that when it comes to relationships and meeting people NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING! THEY JUST PRETEND TO! Granted, some people seem disproportionately lucky in that arena but I think it's just because they don't care and go for it. They already know that no one know's what he or she is doing but they do it anyway. I could be wrong about this but I don't think so. From this moment forward, I'm going to try not to give a flying fuck and just go for it! I suspect however that it is easier said than done. Now that I've discovered that small secret of the universe, I just have to get past my reserve. With plenty of alcohol and goading from friends, I think I can even overcome that, which is saying something. My reserve is pretty damn strong. Okay. I'm done now.

I don't know what happened, but I think it's the power of the dangly chandelier earrings. It's so uncharacteristic of me to buy dangly chandelier earrings but they were just so cute that I had to have them. And now I want more! And I'm wearing them today and I'm just flirting with everyone, particularly my bank crush! :) Fun, fun times!