Sometimes, life is just too comedic. I've always said that God has a sense of humour, a rather twisted, questionable sense of humour, but one none the less. This evening, I went to Trisha and Paulnotpaul's new place which is off of Hertel. Yes, they have had to move to Parkside as a result of the advent of the sproglet. It's a lovely place. Anyway, whilst there, Trisha informed me that she had a surprise for me. Actually, we were walking to Kosta's as the time, but that is neither here nor there. So, after food, I was attempting to help them unpack some things and such when she exclaimed, "Oh! Your surprise!" and then ran off. When she returned, she dangled a very familiar red and black object before- my wallet that has a strap that slips over one's wrist that I lost that fateful night of her bachelorette party. Those of you that were there, know the time we had and might possibly remember that I was drunk off my ass. Not only was I drunk off my ass, but I was drunk off my ass in a black wig! Good times! Okay, okay, I digress again! So, the wallet that I remembered tossing on her loveseat in the front room in a drunken haze at about 4:30 in the morning was no where to be seen! The next only natural assumption was that it was lost somewhere on Allen St. And yet, there it was all of the time, hidden in the folds of fabric on her loveseat! I feel somewhat vindicated but also like I've lost a good drinking story. Or did I gain another story? I think it might be both. All I could do was laugh when I saw it tonight. What else was there to do? Madness. At least I now have that 20-odd dollars and various forms of ID back, including my Buff State ID when I ridiculously short, copper red hair! I am so glad that I have that back! Good night, fair E-strippers!

I think I'm beginning to like someone that I'm not sure I'm supposed to and I don't know how I feel about this. And I mean Really like! This sucks!

After reading Jason's last post, I am reminded of just how similar the problems of men and women really are! Jason, your story is the male version of mine. I have a tendency to keep myself so separated and apart from the whole dating thing, I don't even know what I'm doing and I do it for the very same reasons as you, minus the whole girlfriend's mouth thing, of course. Let me tell you, you get mired there for so long, you get to the point where you are so comfortable with telling yourself that there's no point as he (in my case, "she" in your's) will just shoot you down anyway so you might at well not even try. You begin to think that you are doomed to be alone forever. (God, I'm depressing myself!) Take heart! Talk to that girl! You will regret if you don't. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience.

Okay, I just saw a nun with permed hair!

A few posts ago or so, I wrote how I've been suffering under a pretty severe case of writer's block, where I really have no new ideas, a terrifying situation for someone who constantly came up with something, anything! just to get past whatever was making me stuck. Today, I think I realized that the thing that has been making me stuck is Me. I was blaming it on work and how much I hate it and that I'm constantly tired and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but the truth of the matter is- It's Me. An idea hit me today, and it was powerful enough for me to sit down at my computer and just start writing, just start to get those first few paragraphs down. Once I got so tired I had to stop, because writing is very draining for me, I went and looked at something that I had begun prior to my going to England and was astounded to see that what I was writing, in principle, was the same. In fact, I can take the voice from the one and stick it in my new one and it will still manage to work, that is how similar they are. The theme in both of my new stories is very simple. It is me being honest with me, breaking down what has really been going on in my heart and my head and my hormones and just saying, "Hey! Wake up! You're a beautiful person! Step out of the prison you have created for yourself and LEAP!"
Don't know if I'm there yet, but I would like to be. I think just facing it and being honest and saying that I deserve the best of everything and to stop being what the hell I have been is a pretty big first step. I somehow have to find the strength to leap, even it's just across a crack in the pavement.