It was unexpected visiting when I heard my door bell ringing around midnight last Thursday night. I thought it might be Robin. Who could come to visit me in the middle of night without notice? Only Robin could do it. But it wasn't Robin.
As soon as she got in my apartment, she demanded my cigarettes. I had only one cigarette left in my pack. She was in a hurry to smoke and was telling me "I was almost dying to smoke" Then, she said, she has to go right away. But, she stayed at my apartment until 4 am in the morning.
Insoon Ha, a Korean artist, who is immigrant to Canada from Korea with her husband and daughter 4 years ago. She is always like that way. Last time, she suddenly came to the Old Pink in the middle of night, and told me that she smelled me from UB North Campus. It was the beginning of this semester, so I haven't seen her for 3 months or so.
In Korea, we have very strong age hierarchy, which means younger people have to respect older people. I know that American cannot understand this structuralism. She is 2 years older than me. I respect her as an older sister, and I'm proud of her as an artist.
She wanted to see my new work. But, I told her.. I have nothing to show her.
I remember that she was yelling at me once at the Old Pink, "If you do like this (not concentration on my work), just go back to Korea. Here is not Korea, here is America, nobody's gonna care of you if you don't work hard" She got so drunk after her exhibition at Big Orbit gallery at the time. We cried together. I know all of my American friends at the Pink felt strange from what we were doing. But only she and I know what it is. Ah, I remember Robin asked people around to find out what's wrong with us, she was so worried about us. Ah, I love Robin.
She said, her husband wants to go back to Korea, and she feels like a housewife these days. But, she's got a lot of calls from many galleries. Well, she has a show at Albright Knox on April, 2005. But, their immigrant lives in Canada is so tough.
She said, she is impressed that I drove for 21 hours straight for a day. A lot of my close American friends don't understand me why I had to do it. But, she did understand me. I told her. "I wanted to see if I still have my passion, and I did it although nothing left for now"
There are a lot of people I miss and want to see, but I can't do it because they are just disappearing from my sights as time by time. She said, if I miss my past or feel nostalgia that means I'm not satisfied with my current life. But, I disagreed with her, well I agreed with her later.
She left my house with some words "I have to send my daughter to school tomorrow morning, and thank you for the cigarette. you know I can't smoke at home"
I'm listening to one music over and over again right now. I don't know what the title means. Here is the song "Twenty Two Fourteen" from The Album Leaf.
And Insoon Ha's work that was exhibited at Big Orbit Gallery last April which I did a video documentation for her.
