I got really offended by someone telling me that I'm hyper..
This person must not know that I'm very sensitive as well, which means he doesn't know me enough.. Well, I know what he was just saying that was not to try to offend me, anything on purpose...... I know.. why do I care then..? I don't know..
I think I have some psychological unstableness...... I'm scared....

After Paul, Terry, Matthew left, we had crazy moments for a while..
I got crazy to make everybody's hairstyle with Julie's punky hair stuff..
I made Paul Vanouse, Steve Kurtz and Tony Conrad's hair style like party ladies..
All of us got crazy.. dance.. loud music.. birthday tunnel,,, taping all those crazy moments.. I really had fun.... but soon... I got feeling meaningless again..

Nothingness... meaninglessness.... what is all about..? it doesn't' make me feel full enough.... Rather it gave me bitter smile... hollow feelings..

So, I had to take off there soon...

1) The Mirror --- Andrei Tarkovsky (I've watched it once, but have to watch it again)
2) Stalker --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
3) Nostalgia --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
4) Sacrifice --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
5) Heart of Glass --- Werner Herzog and Norman Hill.

And, I really want to watch Eternal Sunshine..

The last day when I finally close my eyes from leaving all my memories behind, what I will miss the most in my life..? What thing I want to hold and bring into my grave..? Too many people have come and left me already. People are just there, and I'm just running into them as my life goes. How many times can I have the attachment to people.. who can be..? And if I lost the person I have a feeling or an attachment.. Should I just walk away because the time or the moment goes away everyday..? Who can read me to sleep on the last day of my life..?
Will the person know what I have loved in my life..? Sometimes, I feel like I'm ready to sleep because no one will be there..... it will go away beyond the irretrievable moments....
And, you will be the one who left me behind.

I'm not feeling romantic at all right now. But, I have to write something on the first snow day of this season. So, the first snow of last year was November 14th.
It's November 8th today.. so.. 7 days eariler than last year.. [inlink]u=soyeon&id=1[/inlink]

Well, still don't have anybody to call up for today.. Well, I called Robin.. my sweetheart.. Robin.. I love ya..

Wait... here more halloween party photos.
Robin, Julie, Anna, Steve Kurtz, Holly, Me, a friend of Vince.

Anna, Robin, Me, Steve Kurtz, Vince, Julie, Holly.

Me, Aaron and his girlfriend, Holly.

Steve Kurtz and Tony Conrad.

1) I want to see my ex-boyfriend. I was too mad at him, so I didn't allow him to talk to me although we had to see each other all the time. We could be friends, but I had to punish him for a long time. I still keep seeing him as my memory sometimes.

2) I will drive for 16 hours to be there for sure, actually I will do that soon.

3) I will give my computer(not powerbook), TV, DVD player, VHS to Robin.

4) I will give my Dishes and Wine glasses to Julie.

5) I will give some of my stuff whatever Alan wants.

6) I will also give some of my stuff whatever Paul wants.

7) I will give my small plants to Matthew.

8) I will give my scanner to Terry..

9) I will invite all my friends for a party.. maybe

10) Then, I will start writing letters to people I appricate in US.

11) Final thing, I will go to see Craig... and cry.

Then, I don't know what else I will do.. I was just thinking about that..

Well, I will miss my first costume for Halloween Party.