I left Buffalo about 3 hours ago, which was around 7 AM in the morning.
While I was getting ready to leave Buffalo, I was thinking.. oh no.. This is the time I usually go to bed. But, I got up. I think I was very tired last night.. Couldn't get enough sleep.. and ran around to get work done all day long.

I'm in Starbucks having some bread and coffee around Cleveland. My back was so hurt while driving. I think I should take a break here for one hour.. I hadn't done road trips for a long time. So, it's been kind of okay so far. I will see how exhaust I can be later.

For this trip, I had to change all my tires yesterday. Well, one of them was good shape, but Walmart didn't put the right tire in January, so they gave me one as free. It wasn't that expensive.. Since I'm driving so long time, I had to do that.

I think I like here. It seems little urbanized than Buffalo. Yeah, I like urban style. But, it doesn't mean that I don't like Buffalo. Buffalo is okay. Too much snow, that's the problem.. but.. I like my friends in Buffalo.

I have my video camera with me.. so, I can probably take pictures on this trip.. Oh, my video camera has the function of digital camera as well, just it looks really bigger than normal digital camera. Oh well.

Okay, I gotta look at my map again.. make sure one more time.
Oh.. AAA is so cool.. they gave me a very nice map and highlighted on the map where I have to take.. That was so cool.

Robin: "I gotta take care of my new VHS, I'm not a halloween thief"


Alan: "I'm the blue man.. spooky enough?"


Anna: "I'm already tired of wearing those high-hills"


Aaron: "Matthew Barney? no way, I'm the new cremaster"


Julie and Soyeon: "what's up..? Witch?", "hey.. pinky.. look at here?"


Alan and Soyeon: "hey.. halloween is here! come on in"


Steve and SeonHyung: "see? the happiness is here, come on in"

I got really offended by someone telling me that I'm hyper..
This person must not know that I'm very sensitive as well, which means he doesn't know me enough.. Well, I know what he was just saying that was not to try to offend me, anything on purpose...... I know.. why do I care then..? I don't know..
I think I have some psychological unstableness...... I'm scared....

After Paul, Terry, Matthew left, we had crazy moments for a while..
I got crazy to make everybody's hairstyle with Julie's punky hair stuff..
I made Paul Vanouse, Steve Kurtz and Tony Conrad's hair style like party ladies..
All of us got crazy.. dance.. loud music.. birthday tunnel,,, taping all those crazy moments.. I really had fun.... but soon... I got feeling meaningless again..

Nothingness... meaninglessness.... what is all about..? it doesn't' make me feel full enough.... Rather it gave me bitter smile... hollow feelings..

So, I had to take off there soon...

1) The Mirror --- Andrei Tarkovsky (I've watched it once, but have to watch it again)
2) Stalker --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
3) Nostalgia --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
4) Sacrifice --- Andrei Tarkovsky.
5) Heart of Glass --- Werner Herzog and Norman Hill.

And, I really want to watch Eternal Sunshine..

The last day when I finally close my eyes from leaving all my memories behind, what I will miss the most in my life..? What thing I want to hold and bring into my grave..? Too many people have come and left me already. People are just there, and I'm just running into them as my life goes. How many times can I have the attachment to people.. who can be..? And if I lost the person I have a feeling or an attachment.. Should I just walk away because the time or the moment goes away everyday..? Who can read me to sleep on the last day of my life..?
Will the person know what I have loved in my life..? Sometimes, I feel like I'm ready to sleep because no one will be there..... it will go away beyond the irretrievable moments....
And, you will be the one who left me behind.