Needless to say... 8*

[inlink]u=robin&id=272[/inlink] Robin, I'm not shy to talk about my dream with my close friends, but I just don't feel comfortable to talk about it with other people. Sometimes, I tell you my dream... "hey, Robin. I dreamed strange thing last night" like that because you are my sweet friend, so I can share some of my personal stories with you. But, you know why other people have to know about all my personal things. So this is totally a pressure, and I'm not ready to do that. So, do I have to lie about my dream because my professor told us.? Writing journal should not come from somebody asking. It's totally from our motivation. I don't know. I know they won't jurge me from reading my dreams, but still it is strange to me. I know you write about your dream, and it doesn't make me feel strange at all becaue it is your internal thoughts and you are motivated and willing to talk about it. But, I can't.. I mean, for myself, it is fine, I don't know.. anyway, I will think about it. . I'm not able to be articulate what's on my mind about this exactly.

I have so much things to do.. I've been lazy again, but something makes me feel good and smile these days. See you in the class tomorrow.

I have another seminar course in my department side, which is requirement one for all MFA students. Well, Uaually, first year, we should take seminar in the image 1, then last year, we should take seminar in the image 2. But, it's all up to us how we want to manage schedule whatever. So, this year is my third year and now I'm finally taking seminar in the image 1 to graduate. (I've already taken Seminar in the image 2, twice) But, I feel it is a little mistake for me. Well, I'm enjoying the class, but it seems more like designed for students who don't know what they're gonna do. Probably, I'm arrogant in a way. I don't know.

Anyways, my professor told us that we have to keep writing journal about life and dream. So, I mentioned about elmwoodstrip.com in the class today. I've been writing journal here, which is cool. Also, I' have a personal journal whenever I want to write down or draw in Korean or English whatever. But I don't know about dream stuff. Because dream can be very personal that I don't want to share with anybody. I think writing about dream sounds very cool, but my dream is quite complicated and it's very personal issue. Sometimes, I see something that imply to happen in my near future in my dream. For example, I dreamed that I lost my wallet and my money went away strangely. I thought I will have some financial difficulties soon whatever or I feel bad for my mom to support me. I don't know what I was thinking at the time. But, it turned out that somebody took my money away from my bank. I thought that is so strange. My dreams are like that sometimes. Well, this is just something l can share with people, but most my dream is not like that way. If I write about my dream in my journal, I feel like I got naked standing in the public area. Then, there is no personal story which I want to keep inside anymore. Sometimes, I want to hold my thoughts inside. Can't I..?

She never told me that she has a boyfriend, but I assumed she might have because she implied something about it on her website. Finally she told me today on the messager. She wanted me to check her boyfriend's picture on her website and kept asking me what I think. First my impression was that he is not a good-looking guy, but I looked at another picture of him.. he is cute in a way. Well, I feel sorry for my youngest sister because their relationship is the long-distance relationship. It's hard.
That's why she often says to me that she might wanna go back to Korea forgood.
I don't know what to say to her. It's actaully up to her. I think they look good together. It little surpised me because I know my youngest sister is kind of no interested in men. She is just a little baby although she is 24. I can't imagine that she can kiss this guy or anything like that. Well, they might never kiss each other. I kind of think so. I really don't know what to say to my youngest sister about having a boyfriend. I think I should ask my mom about this. Oh well, there is no secret in my family. (that's why I didn't tell my youngest sister what has happened to me the other day, I don't want my mom to worry about me anymore.)
By the way, I was gonna go to school today, but I'm being so lazy again.


Now, I realized when my youngest sister went to Paris, this boy is her boyfriend.


Can you see how innocent she looks.?


Oh well, he is cute in a way.

A man, who has no home, misses home,

A man, who has home, misses the wind on the empty open field,

I, thinking on a street after leaving home,

Nothing earned, Nothing lost in my life,

Everything is just gone away with years,

Like the wind on the empty open field,

A man in crying misses the day laughing,

A man in laughing fears coming the day crying the end of the day laughing,

I, asking a blooming grass on a street,

For what I have lived,

And, for what I will live,

An alive man worries the death,

A dying man yearns for the days being alive,

A man, who has no liberty, misses the liberty,

A man, who has liberty, is dying on a street with his excessive liberty.

---

SJ