I am sitting on an exercise ball in front of my computer. My sister is straightening my hair. Yay! I love getting my hair done, I think it's one of the most relaxing things ever. Well unless it hurts.

I've been handed over the responsbility of teaching 6th grade general music at silver creek until I leave to go to my next placement. Great. When I asked my teacher when she would be taking over the classes again, I didn't expect her to say, "Oh, they're all yours!" Ugh. Some of those kids are tough and I am afraid that I'm giving the impression to some of them that I'm a pushover and that needs to STOP!

Does anyone even remember their student teachers? I remember one in seventh grade with Mr. Illuzzi - Mr. Tarantelli - anyone remember? I think I just remember because I think his name is a dance form. And I remember two in high shcool. But I must have had more than that. Student teachers are weird. The concept I mean. Some little kids probably get super attached to this new person in their lives, especially if they are like...looking for attention from someone. And then the person leaves after like a month. Also it stinks because I'm directing the choir and I can't really establish a relationship with them that much because they're just not my kids.

I have a TV in my room. Thats the most exciting thats happened to me in ages!

Not really. Okay. This is stupid. I'll be home next Friday night. :)

My proctoring job is so boring. I have lame chores that I finish in the first five minutes, and for the rest of the time I read blog sites. By read I mean stalk. Chris thinks it's weird, but livejournal truly is fantastic. By the way (e:Mike), Anne's password is what I said it was before, with a capital B at the beginning don't forget!

Student teaching is pretty much a breeze right now. I have barely taught at all, but I guess that's how it's supposed to be. I know I should get ready for many more things to be thrown at me at once and I will no longer have this hour free to stalk blogs. I don't really like the word blog. I have this problem when I speak in front of the class, particularly the middle schoolers - it happened last semester when I interned with a choir. My mouth gets REALLY dry almost immediately. I guess it's nerves or tension or me speaking too highly or something. A lot of new teachers have problems at first with talking. I guess I am just totally aware of how difficult it is for me to grasp the attention of sixth graders and I get nervous and probably talk too much - which usually is not the way to go. I tend to babble...kinda like I just did in this last paragraph, yikes.

I absolutely love my new voice teacher and I think I am singing really well and I think I MIGHT do a recital next semester again, but this time it would probably be somewhere in Buffalo because a) I wouldn't be a student anymore and b) there are some really nice churches in the b-lo area that would be great to sing in, I think.

I am on the quest to get rid of my [size=l]FRIZZ[/size] once and for all. Does anyone have any tested and proven ways of getting rid of the frizzies??? Most people I ask just say to use Frizz Ease. I guess that would make sense based on the name of the product. I have pretty much come to the belief that more expensive products probably really do work the best - like salon ones. But that's a little more than I can afford right now.

Finally, the Tops in Fredonia closed and we now have a giant Martin's across the street from the old Tops. I miss Tops. It was a classic old style Tops, not too big, usually pretty quiet, and I'm always true to Tops. Martins is pretty obvnoxious...although everyone raves about the organic section, but I have not explored that yet. I like artificial flavors and colors. : ) Quality is totally going to close, as there is now going to be a Super WalMart and Martin's. Frankly I'm surprised we even still have a Quality. Poor Quality. Poor Tops. Give groceries a chance.


(the picture version of my entry)







I told you I was bored.

I hate not posting for a long time. Although I guess that's stupid to say since I can control that.

I'm student teaching now and tomorrow is my first actual opportunity to be responsible and in charge of 6th graders. I'm nervousish..but not really...yet...I'm almost taking well to having to get up every day at 6. HAven't slept in yet...many more opportunities to do that, though.

[size=l]Happy Birthday Di!!!!![/size]...(ok oops sorry...I'm a day late posting, but who's counting?)... Hope you had a great day in Bostonia.

I need a new picture.

This is boring.

Daily updates will commence this week I think. Although I will probably do it (e:Jessbob) style and actually update every day for a week or two and then slack off a little. But at least I know my roommate's names. : P

I got a car yesterday. How exciting. Actually I was really excited. But now today has turned into ridiculousness about getting the car registered and insured. I'm trying to make it to Albany today and it's already 10:03 AM and we haven't gotten to the DMV yet because my dad has some stuff at work to do. So who knows how long that will take, plus going and buying new bolts to put new plates on, getting back home, putting the plates back on, going to the insurance company so they can take pictures of it...all so I can go to Albany. I'm starting to think I should just go to Albany tomorrow. The worst part about all of this I can't do it by myself because my dad is registering the car under his name so he has to go to the DMV and the insurance and all this stuff. And my dad doesn't deal well with working under stress and waiting around and paying for things and pretty much everything that will be happening today. He doesn't get violent or something but sometimes it's almost worse the way he is constantly sighing and staring out the window and closing his eyes like nothing worse could be happening. He probably isn't even thinking these things at all but I have dealt with it for 22 years and since I'm so sensitive to everything it just makes me feel terrible and that I'm wasting his time. My sister can make jokes and make everything less tense, but I just feel guilty and helpless and I shut down because I don't know what to do. If I don't fight it I can end up being the same way, getting so upset about the most tedious and minor things that are definitely not worth the stress or energy to be angry. I definitely do that on my own sometimes and putting two people together who do that is NOT a good situation, and I find myself having to really make myself be as smiley and optimistic as possible so I either ignore or overcome the terribleness I feel from my dad's actions. I am really looking forward to going to the Adirondacks and I want to leave today and I will be upset if I don't. And I love Tom my new car and I wish that all this paperwork and errands didn't always have to be such a dramatic experience and such a big deal. And while I'm so lucky and grateful that my parents haven't cut me off and still support me, I know I could do this all on my own if I had to and I wish I didn't have to rely on others so much. I really do have great parents, despite what I say, they would do anything for me and my sister and I guess I can say that if the worst thing I can think of that's happening with my family is that my dad and I are rushing around so I can take my new car on vacation...I don't really have it bad and I am being silly. Of course at the same time I can't help but have these sad and frustrated feelings.

Of course much worse things are happening in the world today, so . . . blah I don't know I'm silly and sick of this entry and I hope the DMV isn't awful but of course it probably will be...

On Wednesday my Grandma passed away. My grandparents lived near Atlanta for my whole life, so here I am in Georgia at her house. Today was the funeral and tonight we began to go through some of hers and my grandfathers things (he passed away in 2002). It is so neat to see all of their stuff. Although I make fun of (e:mike) for being a packrat, that's what my grandparents were, and everything is so neat to find and look at. We've found old jewely, letters, worksheets and knick-knacks in their old cedar chest. My mom and I also found an envelope with the words "This is personal, do not read, destroy promptly in case of accident, Mom". How mysterious! So I went and asked my dad and he smiled and said that he and his two sisters had talked about it with their mother and she said that only her three children were allowed to read what was inside...which is love letters between her and my grandfather! (Or at least I hope from my grandfather?!) So I am a little jealous but I also think that is really sweet.
Being so far away, we only got to see my grandparents once or twice a year, so we weren't very, very close. But when we did get to see each other a couple times a year, of course it was absolutely great. I know many people would probably this same claim, but I am fairly certain that I had the best, most classic Grandma ever. AT LEAST the best cook. I mean if you didn't come back from a trip to Georgia weighing at least 5 lbs more than when you got there, you were surely ill. One thing I will miss soooo much is her amazing pound cake. She was so well known for it that I printed up recipe cards and we gave them out at the wake as people came in, and everyone loved it. Her pound cake was honestly the best and it makes us all sad to think she won't bake us another, something she loved to do.
And my grandfather was the most caring and selfless person. Many of the things we found of theirs tonight had little slips or paper that he had written, always marking down who gave it to them, when, and what/how much it had meant to them. They just loved their family. They even got to see their first great grandchild born in 2002, and my grandma lived to see a second great grandchild. Even though we weren't close it is really hard to be here and not have my grandmother here fussing and cooking and cracking a few jokes here and there. The last time she came to Buffalo was for my recital. She was sooooo happy to be there and I was so glad she got to come. I sent her a recording of it before I left for Europe and my dad said she loved it and they listened to it on the Monday before she passed away. It was really hard to sing at the funeral because it was as if I knew she was listening to me, so I wanted to sing well but at the same time no one can sing well with a lump in their throat.
We were here for her birthday last year too, and she got to meet Chris ("just the nicest boy" she told me EVERY TIME i talked to her) and because his birthday is so close to hers they had a birthday cake together...her last birthday, and we got to be there, which I think is really lucky.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I will really, really miss her, and am grateful that I got to talk to her when she was in the hospital last week. I know that when I sing I will always remember how happy my recital made her and that she was proud what I did no matter what...I love you and miss you, Grandma and Granddad...