I just did a whole entire school day on my own, without my cooperating teacher but with a sub. Everything went pretty well, except for last period, which is sixth grade chorus. I like to think of sixth grade chorus as the ninth ring of hell. I knew going in to the rehearsal that I was going to have to be way more firm and tough, because there are a few boys that are just awful. They talk, they don't have music, they don't stand still, they throw things, and they are a huge distraction to the rest of the chorus, who, for the most part, is a nice group of kids. Well of course those same damn kids were pains in the asses today, especially for their little student teacher, with no big mean teacher in the room. The accompanist ended up kicking this one awful kid out of the room, and from there rehearsal went more smoothly but there was just this negative vibe. Anyway I'm just babbling all of this because then afterwards, this kid came up to me and asked if we could talk. I already know him pretty well from the chorale I interned with last year. He's such a nice kid and good singer. He told me that he's thinking about quitting chorus, and that if he quits, then he's kicked out of the chorale, which is an auditioned and very accomplished children's choir. He told me this and I could see tears forming in his eyes. It broke my heart. What if things don't get better and he ends up quitting and doesn't sing anymore? All because of some damn pain in the ass eleven year olds who don't know how to behave and won't listen to directions or take anything seriously. If I could, I would kick them out in two seconds. I hate thinking that I would ruin music for some kid by kicking him out, but it would hurt me a lot more to think that the GOOD kids who really want to be there, might leave because they can't deal with all the bullshit, and I don't blame them.

Today just got me to realize that everything teachers do REALLY does make a difference, even on a day to day basis. Maybe if I had been a little stricter and not let it get to the point where someone had to be kicked out, the rehearsal could have been great, and I could have established a positive setting that would carry through to next time, but I didn't. Now who knows...That kid will probably hate me, and the accompanist, and just be a bigger pain in the ass in the next rehearsal...and that may impact a lot of kids. I don't blame everyone for being annoyed by the bullshit. Why can't some kids just get a clue?

Sorry for this rant. All I think about lately is children and music and school. And talking to a kid with tears in his eyes hit me so hard that I just had to get it out somehow. It was probably one of the only things I will remember from this experience. Even if I'm just a student teacher, I can do something to help out, and I wouldn't know how to forgive myself if I let anything get so out of hand that some children shut music out of their lives completely. What an awful thing to think about for me...

HOORAY for no school today :)

Student teaching is all right but I can't wait for it to be over...

Fredonia has a fall break - 3 days off this week - but I don't get it because I'm a stupid student teacher : (

Looking forward to being home next semester a lot :) :)

What else...anyone know of any music jobs I can get in January? If I don't findone I guess I will have to sub, which actually sounds super easy to me...like what do you do, all you have to do is make it through the day and you go home with no lesson plans and no responsibility to the school and you get paid! Sounds sweet to me, except no benefits. Oh well. Okay bye, gotta go take full advantage of this day off :)

I am sitting on an exercise ball in front of my computer. My sister is straightening my hair. Yay! I love getting my hair done, I think it's one of the most relaxing things ever. Well unless it hurts.

I've been handed over the responsbility of teaching 6th grade general music at silver creek until I leave to go to my next placement. Great. When I asked my teacher when she would be taking over the classes again, I didn't expect her to say, "Oh, they're all yours!" Ugh. Some of those kids are tough and I am afraid that I'm giving the impression to some of them that I'm a pushover and that needs to STOP!

Does anyone even remember their student teachers? I remember one in seventh grade with Mr. Illuzzi - Mr. Tarantelli - anyone remember? I think I just remember because I think his name is a dance form. And I remember two in high shcool. But I must have had more than that. Student teachers are weird. The concept I mean. Some little kids probably get super attached to this new person in their lives, especially if they are like...looking for attention from someone. And then the person leaves after like a month. Also it stinks because I'm directing the choir and I can't really establish a relationship with them that much because they're just not my kids.

I have a TV in my room. Thats the most exciting thats happened to me in ages!

Not really. Okay. This is stupid. I'll be home next Friday night. :)

My proctoring job is so boring. I have lame chores that I finish in the first five minutes, and for the rest of the time I read blog sites. By read I mean stalk. Chris thinks it's weird, but livejournal truly is fantastic. By the way (e:Mike), Anne's password is what I said it was before, with a capital B at the beginning don't forget!

Student teaching is pretty much a breeze right now. I have barely taught at all, but I guess that's how it's supposed to be. I know I should get ready for many more things to be thrown at me at once and I will no longer have this hour free to stalk blogs. I don't really like the word blog. I have this problem when I speak in front of the class, particularly the middle schoolers - it happened last semester when I interned with a choir. My mouth gets REALLY dry almost immediately. I guess it's nerves or tension or me speaking too highly or something. A lot of new teachers have problems at first with talking. I guess I am just totally aware of how difficult it is for me to grasp the attention of sixth graders and I get nervous and probably talk too much - which usually is not the way to go. I tend to babble...kinda like I just did in this last paragraph, yikes.

I absolutely love my new voice teacher and I think I am singing really well and I think I MIGHT do a recital next semester again, but this time it would probably be somewhere in Buffalo because a) I wouldn't be a student anymore and b) there are some really nice churches in the b-lo area that would be great to sing in, I think.

I am on the quest to get rid of my [size=l]FRIZZ[/size] once and for all. Does anyone have any tested and proven ways of getting rid of the frizzies??? Most people I ask just say to use Frizz Ease. I guess that would make sense based on the name of the product. I have pretty much come to the belief that more expensive products probably really do work the best - like salon ones. But that's a little more than I can afford right now.

Finally, the Tops in Fredonia closed and we now have a giant Martin's across the street from the old Tops. I miss Tops. It was a classic old style Tops, not too big, usually pretty quiet, and I'm always true to Tops. Martins is pretty obvnoxious...although everyone raves about the organic section, but I have not explored that yet. I like artificial flavors and colors. : ) Quality is totally going to close, as there is now going to be a Super WalMart and Martin's. Frankly I'm surprised we even still have a Quality. Poor Quality. Poor Tops. Give groceries a chance.


(the picture version of my entry)







I told you I was bored.

I hate not posting for a long time. Although I guess that's stupid to say since I can control that.

I'm student teaching now and tomorrow is my first actual opportunity to be responsible and in charge of 6th graders. I'm nervousish..but not really...yet...I'm almost taking well to having to get up every day at 6. HAven't slept in yet...many more opportunities to do that, though.

[size=l]Happy Birthday Di!!!!![/size]...(ok oops sorry...I'm a day late posting, but who's counting?)... Hope you had a great day in Bostonia.

I need a new picture.

This is boring.

Daily updates will commence this week I think. Although I will probably do it (e:Jessbob) style and actually update every day for a week or two and then slack off a little. But at least I know my roommate's names. : P